Naomi32 Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 This guy I liked was sending me signals he was interested, I lent him a book and he returned it and put a bag of m&ms in the bag with it, ordered me a drink at a party we were at, when we all walked home in a group he was cofiding in me a problem he was having at work(and its not like we're best friends)...so I decided to tell him how I felt b/c I could see he wasn't moving and this was going on a long time now..and when I di, in a totally non threatening manner he shut down on me like an iceberg and told me he was dating someone and he was so cold about it and I was surprised b/c he was always warma dn kind to me which is why I liked him. He made no attempt to make me feel better and said nothing about how he feels about me even as a friend. What happened? Did I imagine that he was interested? What kind of behavior is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 10, 2005 Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by Naomi32 I decided to tell him how I felt b/c I could see he wasn't moving and this was going on a long time now..and when I di, in a totally non threatening manner he shut down on me like an iceberg and told me he was dating someone and he was so cold about it and I was surprised Naomi, you did fine, and you should actually be PROUD that you were a liberated woman and told him. You know what, though? It was immature and wrong that he turned the tables on you like he did. Hunn, from what you did you have shown that you are a strong, confident, and mature woman. Don't change anything you did in the future. If the guy is not big enough to take it as a compliment and continue on (if you chose) as friends, then good riddance. I know it's a disappointment, but ... from my perspective, as a man, what you did tells me that you're one of those gals that is the "real deal." Carry on sistah! Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naomi32 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Share Posted August 10, 2005 Thanks Curt! Was I wrong to think he was interested? I just want to know thatI was not delusional. Are the things he did flirty or just friendly? Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 No, you were not delusional. He seemed very friendly at the very least. But what were the signals before you lent him the book? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naomi32 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Share Posted August 10, 2005 I always felt a certain warmth from him and he would remeber that I went out with a certain guy from 5 years ago, he asked me a few times to help him with an assignment and he never asks anyone ..b/c he does really well in school, also when he found out I was going to vermont he asked me to bring back a bottle of maple syrup(an excuse to see me?). Again, I'mn not close friends with him but I like him.. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 girl, you didn't do nothin' wrong. Like I said, if anything, he was friendly at the very least. It's his loss. btw, I think it's cool for women to make the first move, so do NOT let this thing get to you Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 10, 2005 Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by elijahBailey girl, you didn't do nothin' wrong. Like I said, if anything, he was friendly at the very least. It's his loss. btw, I think it's cool for women to make the first move, so do NOT let this thing get to you Amen. Well said! I think any guy who does not feel tremendously complimented when pursued by a girl who feels he is a potentially good match for her, is either too insecure, or quite uncertain of himself socially. Even if he does not feel a good connection with her, he should be enough of a gentleman to let her know that in a clear yet gentlemanly way, so that she can move on more confidently in her search for love. Naomi, As far as your situation is concerned, it's always hard to be completely sure at the start of the "process" of what a person's intentions are. He was clearly being friendly. Even if he was not interested in that way, it's unfortunate that he wasn't able to deal with the situation more effectively. Have faith, and don't give up on that "go get him" stance that you have. I, as one stranger on the net, am proud of ya! Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naomi32 Posted August 10, 2005 Author Share Posted August 10, 2005 Curt, you're the best! Thanks for the vote of confidence! Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 11, 2005 Moderators Share Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Naomi32 Curt, you're the best! Thanks for the vote of confidence! No problem. Thanks for the props, yo! Link to post Share on other sites
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