Trust issues

[Cls79]

While we were apart ( not by choice), I found out he cheated at the beginning of the relationship, not with one but a couple of woman. After we got together I decided to give a chance to the relationship. It's been 2 years, during this period of time I've caught him erasing messages, or befriending random woman I never heard about (woman he met they his job), lies etc.

I would dare to say he hasn't cheated on me again, but I still can not trust him. I've been very open on how I feel and that I need his help with this process and when I make some progress I find out a lie or a cover up and I get back to square one. I don't know what else to do. I love him very much and he is so good to me but it seems that he doesn't understand my position and gets upset when I tell him how I feel and makes it about him instead of giving me reassurance ( which is what I actually need at that moment)

Any advice?

[d0nnivain]

If you don't trust him, it doesn't matter how much you love him or how well he treats you, you can't continue a relationship with him.

[ExpatInItaly]

A healthy and happy relationship is not possible with someone you don't trust.

 

Wouldn't you rather find a guy who is good enough to you to, you know, not cheat in the first place?

[Rsl123]

Why are you putting yourself through this.He is given you all the signs.

[Space Ritual]

While we were apart ( not by choice), I found out he cheated at the beginning of the relationship, not with one but a couple of woman.

 

and your post should have read:..."And I left his sorry ass because life is far too short to deal with this crap. The End"

 

But it didn't.

 

So I'll just say: Leave his sorry ass because life is far too short to deal with this kind of crap. The End.

 

You know it, I know it, Bob Dole knows it, and anyone reading this thread will know it. Tell him to hit the road and don't look back.

 

Come on now, you deserve better than this. Please refuse to accept such treatment

[sandylee1]

Most of us look for the one to build a life with and have a long term relationship with before settling down.

 

Dating is the time to assess if you see what you like. You have a guy who cheated twice, then continues to be shady.... I don't understand why you stay with him.

 

I think when you stay with a cheater and you're not married /no kids, it gives them the impression you'll stay no matter what.

 

Love just isn't enough. You're wasting time with an untrustworthy man, you need to look for the answer within yourself.

[smackie9]

You can't make him stop doing what he is doing, he likes it and will continue to do it. His actions speaks volumes on how much he actually care/loves/respects you.....he doesn't. He isn't treating you right when he is seeking attention/affections for random women. You'd be pretty naive to think he isn't cheating. Stop trying to convince yourself that this isn't happening and he's going to change.....you need to change, and stop letting this guy pull the wool over your eyes. Save yourself and get out now. No one is going to tell you otherwise.

[l8estnews]

I don't understand why people can't separate healthy relationship and the so-called love?

 

You can love a person deeply yet you might be incompatible to be with him/her as a couple. Feelings come and go. Never drive a decision based on just feelings. I feel frustrated when guys or girls are experiencing lies, cheating, abuse, yet they stay for the reason "Oh, because I love him/her!" Crapadoodlekins. Wake up! Love yourself too! Find a person whom you love and is very much willing to nurture and deepen that love into something precious.

 

Your man is blatantly lying to you over and over. That's a deal-breaker to me. I can only forgive once, but twice? Shame on me.