Completely lost and not coping very well

[Lost in the Waves]

I'm having a lot of trouble letting go. Long story short, My ex of over 10 years ago resurfaced recently. He was my first love. We spoke on the phone for about a month before even meeting. A lot of old feelings came back to the surface during this time for both of us. We spent a weekend together and I haven't spoken to him since. Not for lack of trying. He cut off all contact and here I am left in limbo not knowing what to do, how to process all these emotions, or who to even talk to. I can't talk to my friends as they didn't even know about him resurfacing. How could he, after resurfacing like this, just leave again with no words, or reasons, or apology?!

 

I've been a wreck for over a week now. Yesterday was the first good day I had where I didn't break down. Today I woke up with him on my mind and find myself crying again for him. I find my self lost in these waves of grief and I don't know how to get out. The nothingness of feeling numb and not knowing why or what I did wrong is worse than the upset or anger towards him.

 

I've decided not to try to text or call him, to try NC, but I find myself so tempted, like it would be so easy just to send one text, or call him. He added me on social media yesterday. He still follows me on instagram even though he hasn't liked or commented on anything. This has sent me into a questioning frenzy in my mind of course. What does it mean, is this a way of trying to get back in touch? Should I take it as such? Or is he messing with my head?

[d0nnivain]

You are only in limbo because you refuse to leave.

 

He used you for sex. He then cut off contact but not all contact. . . he follows you on IG & friended you on FB. It all sounds ridiculously immature to me.

 

Message him back on one of those platforms demand he man up & tell you whether he wants a relationship with you. If he doesn't delete him from everywhere in your life & let yourself get good & angry because he sold you a bill of goods.

[Chilli]

Well , got a few ideas.

Personally l don't think he purposely used you, he might have but l'd doubt it myself.

You know , getting involved with an ex all over again is a very risky business. l know with myself l would almost rather not even try or start anything again because if you try but it's just not there anymore ,or the same problems, there's gonna be a whole new break up all over again.

And l think that's sorta what's happened.

He decided to try but he's found he's just not feeling it so now he's backed away.

Or he might be feeling it but figuring it all out.

 

Personally l'd stay away from him for a wk or two and just see if he approaches you , if he doesn't then he's probably decided it's no good.

But you could always ring him at that point and just ask wtf and at least hopefully get some closure out of him ?