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just looking for help


sweetbutfoolish

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sweetbutfoolish

HI I'm new to this post , I have been reading alot of them.I'm have been married 7yr been together 11yr with 3 boys .

 

I will try not to make this not to long and boring I just really need some input from other people .

 

This went bad after 3month together i got preg. And my hole world went crashing down he pulled away from me telling me i had change from the person he felling love with.well then came the internet and found outlet there but what brought everything open was i was finding porn site .pics downloaded on to disked etc..

 

then he was always talking about some girl from work at one point i felt as if he was married to her. anyhow i went into depressing had to get help went to counseling found out he had been with other women "he say no sex just kissing and touching. ect nothing got resolved there.

 

to this date we do not get along at all he tells me he loves me just doesn't like me. about a yr ago i found out he was trying to get a gal from work to sleep with him and she wouldn't .he tells me he is looking for what i wont give him

 

OK I'm a bad wife i don't kiss or hug or make him feel wanted .. I still hold the past over him but i am not able to trust him or forgive him

 

" you have not been told the truth then you can't forgive there is a inner feeling that let you know when to let go and forgive"Does anybody believe this?

 

How do you start to trust I"m i the one who really need the help I"m a crazy for always checking his cell phone .his e-mail

 

I bet this make no sense i'm so sorry for rambling i will stop i'm just so upset and lonely and confused on how to make this work ....

 

he has lost jobs over things he has done going to bars .spending money on phone adds .

 

He tells me if i would find out who i need to be and would change my self be happy and loving and caring .then he would not be passive about are marriage .he say it better to be passive then get upset about anything .HE would not try to find other women who listen to him . be proud of him and make him feel good about himself.

 

I told him if i make him so unhappy he should leave and he said why..

 

I don't know .i guess i'm just a crappy person who need to let go of this and move on and just make him happy

 

thank for reading this stupid post sorry so long I promise not to write anymore post i'm sure somebody will not let this post anyhow

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