How do I move forward?

[Stopme]

I really don't know how to do this. I've been separated 12 months, currently doing the 'property settlement' thing. I'm 51 with two children 7 and 12. I had them late. I'm doing all the 'right' things, joining meetups, walking groups, social meetups, catching up with friends (although they are all married and are over my whining). I am on reasonable speaking terms with my ex. We share custody of the kids 50/50. This I find really hard but he wants this and the kids want to be with him too so who am I to stop this. But when they are away from me I feel like the worst mother, not being there for them. I see them once on my week 'off' and ring them. I still find it so difficult. I got into a 'thing' with another guy who messed me around and that has not helped. I have dated a bit but no chemistry. I hate being alone. I would try with my ex but he doesn't want to. It's just so hard at any age but in particular this age. Has anyone else been here and made it work? Just venting which helps but any advice is welcome. I actually don't want another relationship and I'm not into fwb's so ... what then? Single forever ...

[Chilli]

A guy here but yeah , l'm there right now and a bit older than ya.

firstly though l'm glad the kids are seeing as much of their dad. This garbage is hard on everyone but especially the kids and they need their dad just as much as mum.

 

But why are you seeing other people so soon. lf it's separate d only12mths now you must have started only 6mths or something.

That's way too soon and when it all goes wrong it just sets you back even more. You really need to take a yr or 2, some take 5, to get better and back on your emotional feet .

 

Anyway , l did nothing 2yrs, bit longer, met a few but didn't wanna start anything, not into just dating and never done it not even before l was married, l've always just met someone.

At about 2 and 1/2 yrs l met gf and everything was instant. but sadly though due to some difficulties and issues, we split properly after 18mths all up, only a mth or so and yeah , it's tough stuff now.

We had all plans for life and my divorce almost looked like a blessing, but things happened and well, here l am.

 

l do worry about the future because for a start now, it feels llke if there is someone new she's gotta be a let down after everything with gf but l do worry about even finding someone new from here.

l don't have any problem attracting women it's just finding someone l'm interested in is the hard part especially in my area .

And l must admit, being alone doesn't turn me on much either. l need some more time right now but l do worry a little about later on though too.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Chilli

[Stopme]

Hi Chilli, sorry I should have replied earlier, I don't come on here that often. Thanks for replying to my post. I see you are from Oz, can I ask where? I'm from Adelaide.