Trying to be me again.

[Butterfly2222]

Hi all! Thank you for reading this. I went through a break up 2 months ago and I am still struggling. We dated for less than a year, but it was very intense from the start. We met through my sister and we became very close.

 

I made many mistakes and hurt him a few times. I struggle with anxiety and insecurity issues, as well as the inability to be vulnerable after a past physical abuse relationship. While I was not a horrible gf, there were times where I was unnecessarily mean. Meanwhile he has issues communicating.

 

He couldn't get past it. So he broke up with me. We stayed in contact over the past two months, with mainly me trying to reach out, but I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't prove that I learned my lesson and I wanted to change. My sister and her husband still hang out with him and my best friend dates his roommate. Which is tough for me.

 

I started counseling. But I am still heartbroken. He says maybe some time in the future when we have both gotten our crap together, but I can't hold on to that. I have major guilt for hurting someone who was nothing but wonderful to me and my daughter. I just need to move on now and not cry everyday.

 

I've learned from my mistakes, but how do I forgive myself? I need to move on even though I still care deeply and I am struggling.

[Miss Spider]

I know the feeling! I messed up my last relationship very bad too. It's hard to stop feeling that horrible guilt and self-blame for ruining something that we believe could have been great. Wish we could just turn back the clock, but that wouldn't do any good! Because we had to make those mistakes to learn. You are a better person today then you were then. You are a better partner. I wish I could offer more consolation. You are not alone. Wishing you the best in your journey to healing and love.

[JDPT]

This sounds like my current breakup. We were both very broken and essentially painted these facade for each other, where we made each other believe we were perfect for each other when the reality of it was that we were living double lives.

 

My relationship didn't last much either. As a matter of fact it only last but three months but i tell you those were some intense months we had together. I found out she was cheating, I came clean and told her I was cheating as well. And that's when it all hit the fan. I'm not proud of the things i've done but this has truly been a life changing experience for me. I'm now back in counseling and hope to come to terms with everything I need to get rid of.

 

I wish you the best and keep going to therapy. And keep posting.