8 years later still lost 🙁

[Pouson1986]

Hi

 

I don't know where to begin.ive been in a ea for a long time..I have a long story to tell and it all began 8/9 years ago....I began a job he was my manager

Although we are the same age we were both in our early 20s

Both in relationships him only a year me 8 years plus 2 kids

We hit it off instantly one thing led to another we began to"see" each other never slept together

This went on for a few months then he disappeared....i knew he had moved location but I stayed away got back to my life

Roll on 8 years I knew he was back in the area and just kept my distance

Our paths crossed late last year one thing led to another we got back in touch and things just started again....it was the small things like him been able to still remember my number from back then ...the thing is I never stopped thinking about him even after all those years and he said the same he said he "dissappeared" as his partner saw a message...

Yet

We're both still with the same partners

But things have been very much speaking then not then back then been blocked back and forth. For many reasons this is wrong...we can't do this....etc.......currently we are not speaking ..he just this time txt again and said we can't do this .. I just feel so lost

 

There is definitely this big connection between us and there always has been I just feel we met at the wrong time I just feel if we were both single and met then we would be together forever

We still after all these years have not slept together which makes me hope

He has as strong feelings for me as I do him

He says to me he cant be friemds with someone he sees having more with.... the last time before this bout of nc he txt me saying I love you then it was fine for a few weeks now he's gone nc again on his side

 

So we have gone nc contract at the longest 8 years to the shortest been just days

 

Please don't slaughter me...i have a great life ...but clearly something is missing

And I very much no what we are doing/did do is wrong

I just don't know if this time he is gone for good...another 8 years I don't know.....

Edited August 14, 2017 by Pouson1986

[SeenNotHeard]

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story.

Reading your post leaves me with some questions. How do you truly want things to turn out? Are you look for ways to cope as you distance yourself or are your thinking through what is happening and what it all means?

[Pouson1986]

Hi seennotheard

I'm very much over thinking the last conversation thinking was something said etc...am I trying to do things to get my mind somewhere else yes but is he also very much in my mind also...yes ?

He is the only person who has ever made me question my relationship

[Pouson1986]

It's because I don't not if this is him gone for good for 8 years it's been 4 weeks....and he is blanking me completely

[zanwalk]

It's because I don't not if this is him gone for good for 8 years it's been 4 weeks....and he is blanking me completely

 

Really I think the best thing is to move on, it's unfair on all parties to continue to dream about him. You have a partner and family, and so does he. An affair causes one to dream and believe that 'finally' you have found that special man/woman, it brings feelings of intense love when really neither of you have a clue as to how you would rub along together in a proper relationship. The whole secrecy and illegitimacy of it only adds fuel to the fire of your emotions. But it is not reality!

 

I wish you all the best, as I know it will be a struggle to overcome those longings, but make sure you do!

[stillafool]

What are you asking us? I'm confused.