Marriage in free fall (very long)

[Trail Blazer]

Hi Just a Guy and everyone.

 

An update: I have found a place to live and I am in the process of moving in. I will be in and settled by the weekend. There were a few things the landlord needs to fix before I can move in (small stuff like damaged vinyl on the floor) etc. The place is pretty nice in saying that. It's a very suitable place for my kids to stay and be very comfortable.

 

My wife has been very co-operative and we have been helping each other with things. I could not really ask for a better separation. I know of some guys I work with who have had a real bad time because their ex wives have been really difficult. I'm blessed in that regard.

 

As for changing job - for the moment I need stability. I'm not being paid too badly at the moment. My work jas given me 2 pay rises recently as the big boss doesn't want me to leave. I've done my budget and I will comfortably pay my bills and have money to do things with the kids - help them and help my wife a bit too.

 

It has definitely been a crazy start to the year. I have had so much to do, the time has just flown by like nothing else. Emotionally I am doing OK. I guess I haven't had a lot of time to think about how I feel. In a week or so when I'm settled in my new place I may sit on my couch, look around and ask myself "how did I get here?"

 

I guess time will tell. The kids have taken it well and are excited to come and stay with me. I'm in a new town about 20 miles from where my wife is living, but it's a familiar town just the same and there's more to do here as it's a fair bit bigger. I just hope the novelty of visiting dad doesn't wear off at some point.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail Blazer, Thank you for the update. Good to know things are going well for you and that you and your wife are on a good wicket. Although it may be early days but has your wife mentioned divorce? Have you? Has she said anything to the effect that your marriage is over and done with or is are both of you holding out hope for things to g3t better down the line. Irrespective of that I think you have to keep striving to better your position in life and find a job commensurate with your new qualifications and your expanded view of the world. From all accounts the US is on an upswing with regard to the job scene and has probably the lowest unemployment rate in a long time. This bodes well for managerial positions and you have prepared yourself in time to ride wave. Just don't miss out on it.

As far as your kids are concerned keep them excited and let them have an entirely new perspective of life with you. As a young man you are on to the threshold of an exciting new period in your life. Make the most of it. Have fun , live life large as they say, maybe pick up something exciting like sky diving or sail planing or whatever to break the him drum setting which defined your life before this. Have the fun that you missed out on in your twenties. You're not too old to do that. Always remember to keep evolving for the better. Keep us updated on your new fun life. Warm wishes.

[MidlifeMama]

Hi Just a Guy and everyone.

 

An update: I have found a place to live and I am in the process of moving in. I will be in and settled by the weekend. There were a few things the landlord needs to fix before I can move in (small stuff like damaged vinyl on the floor) etc. The place is pretty nice in saying that. It's a very suitable place for my kids to stay and be very comfortable.

 

My wife has been very co-operative and we have been helping each other with things. I could not really ask for a better separation. I know of some guys I work with who have had a real bad time because their ex wives have been really difficult. I'm blessed in that regard.

 

As for changing job - for the moment I need stability. I'm not being paid too badly at the moment. My work jas given me 2 pay rises recently as the big boss doesn't want me to leave. I've done my budget and I will comfortably pay my bills and have money to do things with the kids - help them and help my wife a bit too.

 

It has definitely been a crazy start to the year. I have had so much to do, the time has just flown by like nothing else. Emotionally I am doing OK. I guess I haven't had a lot of time to think about how I feel. In a week or so when I'm settled in my new place I may sit on my couch, look around and ask myself "how did I get here?"

 

I guess time will tell. The kids have taken it well and are excited to come and stay with me. I'm in a new town about 20 miles from where my wife is living, but it's a familiar town just the same and there's more to do here as it's a fair bit bigger. I just hope the novelty of visiting dad doesn't wear off at some point.[/QUOTE]

 

You'll always be their Dad no matter what circumstances or age. As they grow into their own and activities and have dates, etc, that may affect their time, but enjoy it each time you can. You've made quick and wonderful progress for yourself and so glad the spouse is being cooperative! I see a bright future for you!! Best of luck!!

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail, today is Valentine's day! Are you planning anything with your 'Old Lady' or is it now done and dusted. Just hope you have'nt reached that point yet. Whatever it is have a Good Day! Warm wishes.

[Trail Blazer]

I did nothing for Valentine's Day.

 

We are now very much separated. There is zero connection between us now. We are civil, but go through the motions.

 

I have done something which may be judged harshly by some. I couldn't care to be honest.

 

I have joined Tinder.

 

All I can say is that I've been blown away by the response that I've received. Some incredibly good-looking women have swiped right and 'matched' me.

 

Sure, a few did not write me back, but nonetheless an overwhelming amount have.

 

I don't wish to brag, but I've already had a couple of girls want to meet up for some much-needed coffee to ease the burden of a freezing Oregon winter.

 

Having said that, I've been unmatched by a couple who, upon realizing that I reside some 35 miles from downtown Portland, have said I live too far away.

 

Apparently I shouldn't search while at work, because I work in Beaverton, it gives off a false sense of living closer to town, thus bypassing someone's desire to date someone only residing in their arbitrarily defined search radius.

 

Imagine a dating app developed for mobile/cellular devices using dynamic location identification. Yeah, I'll just go for a vacation in Cali and still be listed as located in Oregon. *eyeroll*

 

Anyway, it's all been a bit of fun. For a guy who considers himself moderately good looking, certainly no Chris Hemsworth (but ironically can do a really good Aussie accent) though, I'm happy to play along for now.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Trail Blazer

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail, good to read your update. Sorry but I'm not familiar with Tinder but whatever it is you could do with some TLC at this time. Good to know your mating radar is switched on. You never know when you latch on to a desirable target. Have you had a chance to show your kids a good time? Keep popping in with an update or two now and then. Warm wishes.

[Trail Blazer]

Tinder is a so called "hook up" app. A dating app where you simply swipe right on someone if you like their photo and swipe left if you don't. If 2 people swipe right on each other then they are 'matched' and can then chat.

 

You choose your search radius and every person with the app who falls within that search radius will be accessible for you to swipe through. The app works really well in populated cities but not so much in rural areas.

 

I have my house nearly set up for the kids. I've been unbelievably busy, running around getting furniture and the like. I'm not ready for the kids to stay overnight yet, but I will have them over the weekend just for a day.

 

I have today off work as I need to go and organize some things in person in business hours. I've also had a technician from my internet provider come today to sort out some issues. I'm picking up the kids from school and having them for the evening.

 

I will come back regularly and keep updating. Now since the worst of everything is all over, I will have a bit more time to do so.

[Trail Blazer]

Hi Just a Guy and everyone.

 

An update: I have found a place to live and I am in the process of moving in. I will be in and settled by the weekend. There were a few things the landlord needs to fix before I can move in (small stuff like damaged vinyl on the floor) etc. The place is pretty nice in saying that. It's a very suitable place for my kids to stay and be very comfortable.

 

My wife has been very co-operative and we have been helping each other with things. I could not really ask for a better separation. I know of some guys I work with who have had a real bad time because their ex wives have been really difficult. I'm blessed in that regard.

 

As for changing job - for the moment I need stability. I'm not being paid too badly at the moment. My work jas given me 2 pay rises recently as the big boss doesn't want me to leave. I've done my budget and I will comfortably pay my bills and have money to do things with the kids - help them and help my wife a bit too.

 

It has definitely been a crazy start to the year. I have had so much to do, the time has just flown by like nothing else. Emotionally I am doing OK. I guess I haven't had a lot of time to think about how I feel. In a week or so when I'm settled in my new place I may sit on my couch, look around and ask myself "how did I get here?"

 

I guess time will tell. The kids have taken it well and are excited to come and stay with me. I'm in a new town about 20 miles from where my wife is living, but it's a familiar town just the same and there's more to do here as it's a fair bit bigger. I just hope the novelty of visiting dad doesn't wear off at some point.[/QUOTE]

 

You'll always be their Dad no matter what circumstances or age. As they grow into their own and activities and have dates, etc, that may affect their time, but enjoy it each time you can. You've made quick and wonderful progress for yourself and so glad the spouse is being cooperative! I see a bright future for you!! Best of luck!!

 

I was at the ex's new place last night to drop some stuff off. She wasn't there but her 23 year old daughter was. Anyway my daughter hugged me and then wouldn't let me go. She started crying and refused to let me go and begged me to just stay.

 

She was even bartering with me to stay by offering me her bed to sleep in "and I will sleep in mommy's bed if you don't want to." I had a lot to do but I just couldn't bring myself to prizing my daughter's arms from my waist. We waited an hour until the ex got home, by which point she gave our daughter some things to occupy herself with.

 

That was tough to deal with. That will not be the end of it. My son who's 11 is pragmatic about it all, but the little 7 year old girl is very sweet and a little sensitive, so it will hit her a bit harder.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail, that incident with your daughter was very sad. Sometimes adults cannot foresee the pain that a little child has to endure in situations like this. It will probably leave an indelible mark on her as firstly, she is too young to comprehend the reasons as to why her life has turned upside down and secondly,, being a girl, I would think she is very attached to you as her father. Girls are always Daddy's pets. I think you have to put in a lot of thought into how you ate going to smoother things over for your kids. Warm wishes.

[BettyDraper]

Divorce is typically very hard on children...especially when they are young.

Talk to your ex about managing your daughter's grief.

[Trail Blazer]

An update for anyone who's interested.

 

I have my kids staying the night for the first time. They've visited a few times but I haven't been set up to have them stay until this weekend. We've had so much fun, it has been really great to have them over with me.

 

Either my ex has been looking, or someone tipped her off, that I have been looking at dating sites. She had been posting up some passive-aggressive memes and posts on Facebook about getting ads for Match.com and the like, and saying stuff about how "you'd be just crazy to go on those sites so soon after a break up like this" while using vomit emojis.

 

I don't care what she or anyone else thinks, because I know I'm not doing anything wrong. I haven't propositioned any of these women for sex. It's just been a bit lonely without the kids and for the most part I've just wanted some company to talk to.

 

As it turns out, I've met this amazing woman on Match who I've been chatting to for the last 2 weeks. She is to die for: 32-years-old, she is a single mom to a boy who's 5, that's fine as I have 2 kids, she's just incredibly beautiful inside and out. A real stunner. We've spoken on the phone, she's got a beautiful voice. We're going to meet for a coffee soon.

 

I am only looking to take things slow. I have a lot of healing to do and a lot of self discovery I need to achieve before I can embark on a journey of a new relationship. My new friend has already said as much, that she wants to start slow, be friends and if the friendship develops into something more when we were both ready, then good. If it never ends up being more than friends, so be it. We can remain friends and that is fine.

 

This girl only lives 7 miles away, which is great as it's been hard matching with girls who love close to the city, while I'm on the outskirts of Portland, pretty much in the country. Everything is pretty much setup for a great friendship, maybe more. I've told her I have quit my Tinder, Bumble, POF apps as I want to concentrate on her. I don't want flings/hookups with others when I have strong feelings for her, even as a friend.

 

So anyway, that's where it stands. Otherwise, the ex and I are getting along quite well. There is no problem with cooperation, communication or anything like that. The kids have adjusted well and I'm still talking to her older 2 kids from time to time. It has been over all the best outcome, us breaking up.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail, good to read your update. It is also good to know that you are moving on and are not moping around. I do not understand why your wife is being nasty about your being on dating sites. She is the one who asked you to move out and she knew that would mean that the marriage, in practical terms would be over. You are a young 33 to her middle aged 45.

 

You have referred to her as your ex but you two have'nt initiated divorce proceedings or have you? That might be the right thing to do. Do keep updating us on your progress. Also congratulations on your new friend. Just take your time with her and see whether she checks all the boxes as far as you are concerned. What is her story? It seems she's divorced and if so have you asked her why? Please be careful if infidelity on her part was involved. Otherwise, just have a good time as you need it. Warm wishes.

[Trail Blazer]

I will initiate divorce proceedings when the time is right. I'm not even sure of the laws in this state but that's something I will look into shortly. We don't own assets so there's pretty much nothing to split. I may not even need a lawyer. If I refer to her as ex, yes we are still legally married, but we are no longer together in any emotional capacity.

 

I met my new girlfriend for the first time last Tuesday. We had a date at a local restaurant. It was incredible. She is unbelievably good looking. I am extremely attracted to her, and she is to me. After dinner I walked her to her car. We shared a kiss before going our seperate ways. We have not stopped talking since. We are going on a second date on Easter Saturday.

 

I have sold my truck and bought a Mustang. My kids are now big enough that they don't need a seat in the car, but still small enough to comfortably fit in the back of a 2 seat pony car. My ex grumbled and when I posted pics of it on Facebook and asked "who are you trying to impress". The thing is, I just want to live a little. If I need to use a truck, my work will let me borrow one.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Trail, and here I was encouraging stoic to get himself a Mustang. Happy somebody benefitted from my advice. I think a Mustang fits right in with the persona you are projecting right now! Good you got your stbx wife a little peeved. Maybe she is starting to realize she made a big mistake regarding you. Wait till she sees you around with your new GF. That is when she will really mourn the demise of your marriage. Sorry, it is her loss and in some ways I feel sorry for her since you have said she is a good woman at heart and is sensible in every respect. Her mistake was picking you up when you were a beardless youth and she was a mature 33 year old. For her you were the rebound relationship and too young to actually partner her adequately. She should have exercised more restraint and common sense then. The sad thing is that in the process she placed an unfair burden on your young shoulders and and caused a deformation in the natural course of your development.

 

At any rate you have the wide open road ahead of you and a lot of living and loving(?) to do. You can still carve out your dream life and may be thank your ex wife for instilling some good values in you so that your perspective will forever be looking forward and upward. Warm wishes.

[Trail Blazer]

I've always been a Ford guy and wanted a Mustang since I was a teenager.

 

Since this site has died for like 6 weeks, so much has changed in my life. We had our second date on Easter Saturday, which seems like so long ago now. I won't bore you with the details other than saying it involved picking her up and driving to Mt. Hood for a picnic. Bubbles and delicious food - the second date was a big success.

 

Fast forward to today and after a few more dates and plenty of moments spent together, we are very much in a committed relationship. I never in a million years would have predicted I would be in such a position in as little as 6 months ago! But here I am, from a marriage in free fall, to a new relationship with a gorgeous gal my own age.

 

I do not wish to rub any salt into the wounds of the ex. My kids don't know I have a new girlfriend yet and I don't wish for them to learn of this fact until I believe they are ready. And right now they are still processing the separation. Thus, I don't want to see them when I am out and about.

Edited May 16, 2018 by Trail Blazer

[Els]

Does this girl know that you are separated but not divorced? If there is informed consent from everyone, then that's fine, but she needs to know.

[BettyDraper]

I've always been a Ford guy and wanted a Mustang since I was a teenager.

 

Since this site has died for like 6 weeks, so much has changed in my life. We had our second date on Easter Saturday, which seems like so long ago now. I won't bore you with the details other than saying it involved picking her up and driving to Mt. Hood for a picnic. Bubbles and delicious food - the second date was a big success.

 

Fast forward to today and after a few more dates and plenty of moments spent together, we are very much in a committed relationship. I never in a million years would have predicted I would be in such a position in as little as 6 months ago! But here I am, from a marriage in free fall, to a new relationship with a gorgeous gal my own age.

 

I do not wish to rub any salt into the wounds of the ex. My kids don't know I have a new girlfriend yet and I don't wish for them to learn of this fact until I believe they are ready. And right now they are still processing the separation. Thus, I don't want to see them when I am out and about.

 

I'm glad that you are being considerate of your kids and your ex.

It's great that you're enjoying the fun you missed out on over the years.

 

While the new relationship seems like a great surprise, I'm wondering if you are on the rebound since you are have only recently separated from your wife. Most people still have emotional baggage to work through at this stage. Hopefully, your girlfriend understands the implications of being with a man who is not even divorced yet.

 

I hope everything goes well. You certainly deserve to be happy.

[Trail Blazer]

Does this girl know that you are separated but not divorced? If there is informed consent from everyone, then that's fine, but she needs to know.

 

Absolutely she does. I was completely honest about my situation to every girl I spoke to on dating sites/apps. I am not the sort of person to lie or omit critical info like that.

[Trail Blazer]

I'm glad that you are being considerate of your kids and your ex.

It's great that you're enjoying the fun you missed out on over the years.

 

While the new relationship seems like a great surprise, I'm wondering if you are on the rebound since you are have only recently separated from your wife. Most people still have emotional baggage to work through at this stage. Hopefully, your girlfriend understands the implications of being with a man who is not even divorced yet.

 

I hope everything goes well. You certainly deserve to be happy.

 

Thanks for the warm sentiments.

 

Time will tell whether I'm on the rebound or not. I'm not going to try and convince anyone otherwise, because I don't know myself what the future holds. What I will say is that I'm not playing games or treating her like she's just an option. I really like her and I'm attracted to her in every way. She's a beautiful person inside and out.

 

I could have stayed single, but I was blown away by her and neither of us could really hold off, given how we feel about each other. She has given me a number of assurances that she trusts me and that despite her concerns about my recent separation, she still trusts me that I am the decent guy I've presented myself as.

 

As I told her, I wasn't sure if I was ready to pursue a relationship when we first started chatting, but that changed when I realised that someone as special as she was out there which I hadn't factored in at the time. I always wanted to find someone special, but I was in no rush.

 

I turned down a Bumble date before we'd even met because I felt like anyone else would have been settling for second best. I felt bad for telling the other girl on that morning why I wouldn't be meeting her for lunch, but she thanked me for my honesty. I told my girlfriend I'd quit all my dating apps as I wanted to concentrate on our her only.

 

As we've both said, only time will ultimately prove everything.

[Trail Blazer]

Also, my mom is flying over from Idaho in 5 weeks to stay with me and see the kids. I have spoken with both mom and my girlfriend and they're both comfortable meeting up for lunch. My mom is concerned I'm jumping into a relationship too early, but I've assured her I'm taking things slow.

[BettyDraper]

Also, my mom is flying over from Idaho in 5 weeks to stay with me and see the kids. I have spoken with both mom and my girlfriend and they're both comfortable meeting up for lunch. My mom is concerned I'm jumping into a relationship too early, but I've assured her I'm taking things slow.

 

I can see why your mother has this concern but you are old enough to know what you're doing. Based on what you have posted, it seems like you're approaching this relationship in a realistic and respectful manner. For all we know, your girlfriend could be the love of your life.

 

I hope the meeting with your mother goes well. I don't feel that meeting parents so quickly is taking things slowly. However, only you and your girlfriend can set the pacing for your relationship.

[Trail Blazer]

I can see why your mother has this concern but you are old enough to know what you're doing. Based on what you have posted, it seems like you're approaching this relationship in a realistic and respectful manner. For all we know, your girlfriend could be the love of your life.

 

I hope the meeting with your mother goes well. I don't feel that meeting parents so quickly is taking things slowly. However, only you and your girlfriend can set the pacing for your relationship.

 

I should put into perspective what "taking it slow" meant in the context it was said. You have to remember that when I was 20 I moved to a new state with a woman I met on the internet. We knew each other for 6 months before I moved, but the plans to move.over commenced within 4 months. Within 4 months of moving over we had bought a house and my ex was then pregnant. That's moving fast...

 

Contrast to what I'm doing now, it seems like snail's pace, even with the planned lunch with my girlfriend and mom is happening within 3 months of us first meeting, and 4 months from meeting online. The things that differ from my last relationship is that neither of us plan to move in with one another for the forseeable future. We have separate lives and that will remain the status quo for a number of years.

 

I am happy for my girlfriend to meet my mom and vice versa because despite saying we are taking it slow, I have (perhaps I'm deluded) this confidence we will be together for a long time. We have a crazy connection like neither of us have felt before and we just clicked from the moment we chatted online, talked on the phone and then met up on our first date.

 

Another thing for me is that I have not only met my girlfriend's son, but he now has latched on to me in a big way. I also had dinner one night at my girlfriend's house when she was babysitting her best friend's 2 kids. Her best friend stayed for dinner, so I think in some way she was sussing me out, which is cool because she was nice and we all got along very well. I think I passed the test.

 

Since I cannot introduce my kids to my girlfriend just yet as the timing is not right, I do want to show my girlfriend how committed I am to her and our relationship by introducing her to a significant person in my life. I have met 2 significant people in her life, both people she wouldn't have me meet if she wasn't serious. I want her to know how serious and committed to the relationship I am. So, who is more significant in my life than my mom? Nobody!

 

As for my girlfriend maybe being the love of my life... once again, only time will tell. I hope she is. I like everything about her and she is seemingly feeling the same about me. She's a gorgeous girl with such a gentle and caring personality. She's also intelligent and very articulate. That's important to me as well, so too is our aligned views on social justice, politics and religion (I'm atheist and she's at best agnostic).

 

If she doesn't see me as the love of her life now, which it's way too early to tell for sure, then she certainly is thinking there is that potential. She has told me so many things which give me that assurance. I know that she feels something deep, but is sensible enough to know that we need more time, thus not blurting out her emotions. If anything, I have struggled to contain mine. No, I haven't said the 'L' word... but I've told her that I am falling for her and that I absolutely adore her. That is just me being honest.

[BettyDraper]

I should put into perspective what "taking it slow" meant in the context it was said. You have to remember that when I was 20 I moved to a new state with a woman I met on the internet. We knew each other for 6 months before I moved, but the plans to move.over commenced within 4 months. Within 4 months of moving over we had bought a house and my ex was then pregnant. That's moving fast...

 

Contrast to what I'm doing now, it seems like snail's pace, even with the planned lunch with my girlfriend and mom is happening within 3 months of us first meeting, and 4 months from meeting online. The things that differ from my last relationship is that neither of us plan to move in with one another for the forseeable future. We have separate lives and that will remain the status quo for a number of years.

 

I am happy for my girlfriend to meet my mom and vice versa because despite saying we are taking it slow, I have (perhaps I'm deluded) this confidence we will be together for a long time. We have a crazy connection like neither of us have felt before and we just clicked from the moment we chatted online, talked on the phone and then met up on our first date.

 

Another thing for me is that I have not only met my girlfriend's son, but he now has latched on to me in a big way. I also had dinner one night at my girlfriend's house when she was babysitting her best friend's 2 kids. Her best friend stayed for dinner, so I think in some way she was sussing me out, which is cool because she was nice and we all got along very well. I think I passed the test.

 

Since I cannot introduce my kids to my girlfriend just yet as the timing is not right, I do want to show my girlfriend how committed I am to her and our relationship by introducing her to a significant person in my life. I have met 2 significant people in her life, both people she wouldn't have me meet if she wasn't serious. I want her to know how serious and committed to the relationship I am. So, who is more significant in my life than my mom? Nobody!

 

As for my girlfriend maybe being the love of my life... once again, only time will tell. I hope she is. I like everything about her and she is seemingly feeling the same about me. She's a gorgeous girl with such a gentle and caring personality. She's also intelligent and very articulate. That's important to me as well, so too is our aligned views on social justice, politics and religion (I'm atheist and she's at best agnostic).

 

If she doesn't see me as the love of her life now, which it's way too early to tell for sure, then she certainly is thinking there is that potential. She has told me so many things which give me that assurance. I know that she feels something deep, but is sensible enough to know that we need more time, thus not blurting out her emotions. If anything, I have struggled to contain mine. No, I haven't said the 'L' word... but I've told her that I am falling for her and that I absolutely adore her. That is just me being honest.

 

I see. It makes complete sense that you want to show your girlfriend how serious you are. Sharing viewpoints on important topics is very important. I hope that your relationship continues to grow and you can find happiness in each other. What may seem "too soon" to others could feel right for you.

 

It's very early to have met your girlfriend's son already but you can't turn back the clock. I'm glad that your waiting to introduce your girlfriend to your children.

[Trail Blazer]

I see. It makes complete sense that you want to show your girlfriend how serious you are. Sharing viewpoints on important topics is very important. I hope that your relationship continues to grow and you can find happiness in each other. What may seem "too soon" to others could feel right for you.

 

It's very early to have met your girlfriend's son already but you can't turn back the clock. I'm glad that your waiting to introduce your girlfriend to your children.

 

Thanks. My girlfriend had not been in a relationship for 18 months. She was ready, but was I? She was very concerned when I first chatted to her online and told her I had only been separated 2 months. She was only prepared to keep chatting because she thought I seemed like a nice guy. She said if we click she would want to wait and be friends for a bit first and let some time pass. Well that didn't really work out as planned!

 

What I know is that I wasn't prepared to let her slip away. But it was only for her that I would get in a relationship so soon. I pinch myself all the time to check if it's actually real, because I can't believe where I am now considering the mess I was in only 6 months ago. I do not genuinely believe I would share such a connection with anyone else in a long time, so the timing is just what it is. My decision to be with her is irrelevant to the timing I think. Everything feels right and that is what will guide me to proceed, which it did.

 

I know it's early to introduce me to her son, but I guess she trusts me. She has her son 100% of the time, so it would make a relationship very challenging. Her parents live 70 miles out of town, so theh can't babysit. It is what it is, but I'm not more responsible than her based on my kids not havin met my GF yet when I've met hers. The circumstances are just incomparable.

[BettyDraper]

Thanks. My girlfriend had not been in a relationship for 18 months. She was ready, but was I? She was very concerned when I first chatted to her online and told her I had only been separated 2 months. She was only prepared to keep chatting because she thought I seemed like a nice guy. She said if we click she would want to wait and be friends for a bit first and let some time pass. Well that didn't really work out as planned!

 

What I know is that I wasn't prepared to let her slip away. But it was only for her that I would get in a relationship so soon. I pinch myself all the time to check if it's actually real, because I can't believe where I am now considering the mess I was in only 6 months ago. I do not genuinely believe I would share such a connection with anyone else in a long time, so the timing is just what it is. My decision to be with her is irrelevant to the timing I think. Everything feels right and that is what will guide me to proceed, which it did.

 

I know it's early to introduce me to her son, but I guess she trusts me. She has her son 100% of the time, so it would make a relationship very challenging. Her parents live 70 miles out of town, so theh can't babysit. It is what it is, but I'm not more responsible than her based on my kids not havin met my GF yet when I've met hers. The circumstances are just incomparable.

 

You know your situation better than I ever will. However, sometimes the perspective of an outsider can be helpful because the outsider is not emotionally invested. It appears that you are very happy with your girlfriend and I am pleased for you. Sometimes it doesn't take a long time to know if a relationship is perfect for us. I guess I'm just pragmatic and cautious when it comes to love.