Does profession/job affect attractiveness?

[Versacehottie]

I think going by what everyone has said that although the actual profession that one is in does make a little bit of difference but it is still mostly down to the person themselves and that if that person seemed right then the job sort of wouldnt matter which I have the same view on towards females.

 

As long as they are ambitious and have life goals in respects of their work then that works for me, money or earning potential wouldnt sway it for me I dont think, it all depends on the person for me. But there are some jobs like i said that seem to be more attractive than others but that would just make a difference on initial attraction which is i suppose part of my question that i have sort of answered for myself....

 

Glad you feel comfortable with your choice. I actually think that's the most important thing. For one, you will have to live with and be happy with whatever your career choice is--so choose something that will make YOU happy. The happier you are with your career and more motivated by who you are as a person, the more likely that enthusiasm will transfer over to the relationship. I have even seen guys who are less ambitious, per se, choose careers that are let them just have a job so they can devote their lives to their families, which they do and are involved with quite happily and proudly---like something with regular hours that's not too draining so they can coach their kids' teams etc. Bottom line, there were a wide variety of what women found as attractive careers for guys (and this is a very small sample!), you have to do what is right for you and the right woman will come along and appreciate it. Another reason to be happy with your choice is that if you choose for yourself, then you will be fine whether or not that particular woman comes or goes.

[Els]

That's great if it works for them. I'm sure this is more of a personal issue but I'm not sure I'd ever be able to shake the fear that my wife wouldn't respect me if I wasn't visibly "working." See below.

 

 

 

I make a lot of passive income -- that was my dream. But I busted my butt for years doing all the work for it, setting it up just so, and all I have to do is some admin/maintenance for a few hours a week. I made the conscious choice to make sacrifices and frontload my work for a few years, then just chill out and collect checks. It sounded nice to me and I thought that would be pretty appealing to a lot of women too. Now that I'm there, you'd be surprised how many people think I "don't do anything," women included. The dream is to just be completely independent and give my future family everything they'd ever need, but I feel there's this societal view that men have to portray some image of visible industry and labor. The thought of my wife coming home in her professional get up after a hard day at work only to smile when she sees me finger painting with a toddler just doesn't seem that plausible, even if I bought the house myself in cash.

 

I thought about your post for a while, and it could certainly be true. I mean, we all have theories about what we should or shouldn't feel, and ideally we would all like to be completely rational about those things. Unfortunately, gut feeling, emotions, and attraction - much of that doesn't care about rationality.

 

Philosophically and as a matter of principle, I support SAHDs. I think they should have equal rights and I hope that they find women who appreciate and love them. That being said... I can't say for sure how I would genuinely react or respond to a man who worked fewer hours than I do. Because I've never been with one. How much of that is coincidence and how much of that is due to unconscious bias? Who knows.

 

It's entirely possible that it's hard-wired in many women (not all, I would think/hope, but many) that an "industrious" man is the man they want to hitch up with, because in the past (where "passive income" was nonexistent) such men provided the best odds of their offspring surviving.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Sigh. I should have been a doctor. Having a queue of hot young girls trying to get with me would make life more interesting. I'm thrilled when a new, average looking girl is interested in me.

 

Yea.

 

Waste 12 years of your life immersed in things you have no interest in to get a job you have no interest in, which is extremely stressful, so you can spend half of your hard earned $ on a woman who likes you primarily for your $.

 

Sounds like a grand life to me...

[JuneJulySeptember]

Am I wrong in saying that you have become a little more cynical? Or have I just been missing that?

 

Anyway, I think I am closer to your thinking on this. I'm in my late 40s and no way am I dating someone who is not gainfully and solidly employed with a plan to responsibly retire and capable of sustaining oneself financially. I have worked too hard to allow that into my life.

 

Surprisingly, I find enough attractive women out there that fit that bill. Of course the more conservative parts of the country has fewer professional women, but I have not been too disappointed. I find many women wanting a guy who has his stuff together, but often times don't have their own ducks in a row. I've dated a couple of professional women thus far since making my relocation, just need to find one that is actually fit/active.

 

Define gainfully employed though...

 

Maybe you are dating a woman who is a senior 'whatever' and makes 97K a year.

 

But she feels empty.

 

She wants to become a social worker and make 42K a year. Or maybe she has always been a social worker and makes 52K a year.

Are you more interested in her being happy, or are you more interested in her footing half of an upper class lifestyle?

 

I think THAT is where the major discrepancy comes in usually. Not between people who make 111K and $12/hr.

Edited August 21, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember

[Gr8fuln2020]

Define gainfully employed though...

 

Maybe you are dating a woman who is a senior 'whatever' and makes 97K a year.

 

But she feels empty.

 

She wants to become a social worker and make 42K a year. Or maybe she has always been a social worker and makes 52K a year.

Are you more interested in her being happy, or are you more interested in her footing half of an upper class lifestyle?

 

I think THAT is where the major discrepancy comes in usually. Not between people who make 111K and $12/hr.

 

Honestly, 'gainfully' means just that for me...have a job that is consistent and you are paid in order to live within your means. To be even more honest, a professional, with benefits. You don't have to make 50K+, but it certainly helps when you have a job that allows you "comfort" of knowing that you are not simply living paycheck to paycheck and worrying if that cold becomes something worse b/c you don't healthcare benefits, etc.

 

Not interested in 'upper-class' lifestyle, though wouldn't mind it and certainly hoping one enjoys the job she does.

[TheFinalWord]

Sigh. I should have been a doctor. Having a queue of hot young girls trying to get with me would make life more interesting. I'm thrilled when a new, average looking girl is interested in me.

 

ES is either exaggerating or I live in the wrong country. lol

 

When I was a doc student, I had these two girls that followed me everywhere, but that was a rare occasion. At the time I was in really good shape, so I attribute it more to that then them being fascinated by my lectures on the intricacies of parametric statistics assumption testing.

 

I guess GIGS. I would think being a cop or firefighter would be much easier to attract women from a career perspective.

 

Yea.

 

Waste 12 years of your life immersed in things you have no interest in to get a job you have no interest in, which is extremely stressful, so you can spend half of your hard earned $ on a woman who likes you primarily for your $.

 

Sounds like a grand life to me...

 

Oh, believe me, I've asked myself the same question many times. I'll spare the Freudian psychoanalysis, but academic/medical type jobs provide incredible freedom on a lot of levels. It gives you the ability to engage in entrepreneurial desires, while operating within a relativity low-risk organizational umbrella. It reminds me of being able to start a small business in the 1980s, or being a day trader during the 90s dotcom boom; not a lot of risk, but a lot of potential reward.

Edited August 23, 2017 by TheFinalWord

[Chilli]

l love the earthy. warm kinda chick , fun , chilled , so anything strung out and mega businessy, careerish types, zero for me.

[Els]

ES is either exaggerating or I live in the wrong country. lol

 

ES is probably referring to the really old doctors who have already been specialists/consultants for years and are raking in hundreds of thousands a year.

 

Many of the junior doctors I know struggle with relationships. They do make a decent amount of money, but in many cases that goes towards paying back student loans, and they work weird shifts and long hours. Depending on your country and the specialization you want to aim for, that will be your life for 5-15 years post-graduation before you become a specialist. Ergo you only really start "reaping" the benefits at the age of, oh, 40? And that's assuming you survived all of that. Lots of doctors drop out, a few commit suicide. It's very sad, really.

 

On a more positive note, quite a few of my friends are doctors who are single and looking. Anyone interested in some matchmaking?

[thefooloftheyear]

When topics like this come up, I always think of my uncle...

 

the guy basically drifted his entire life, doing very little, and had women take care of all of his needs...He'd live in their houses, eat their foods, use their stuff, cars, etc...He worked odd jobs for just some spending cash, but never had to worry about anything really....

 

And the women he was with were mostly pretty attractive, accomplished women...One was a prominent surgeon...Never had any kids, so no dynamic there...If any of these women hassled him, he'd just go find another one and start over with them..From what I remembered of him, he was pretty happy with his life...

 

When he passed away a few years ago, several of his former women were there, and one of them even paid for the funeral services...

 

Point being, sometimes people get so wrapped up in this...there are no absolutes...Some women don't really care what a guy does or makes, they'll be more than happy to have them,,

 

TFY

[elaine567]

Point being, sometimes people get so wrapped up in this...there are no absolutes...Some women don't really care what a guy does or makes, they'll be more than happy to have them,,

 

TFY

 

I agree, and also there are plenty women with no hoper, loser, chronically unemployed bfs/husbands.

She is often holding down two or three p/t jobs and looking after the kids as well, yet the narrative is always about how WOMEN in general are all about grabbing onto men for money...

[cocorico]

The ladies dig a dude in uniform.

 

Dream on. I find uniforms a big turn *off*. They remind me of school. They signal a lack of individuality. They suggest authoritarianism, strict hierarchy, and taking orders without question i.e. a lack of imagination and intellect. They look dull and boring.

 

It's like being attracted to an ant, or a sheep - something with hive / herd mentality. I prefer people who are able to think for themselves, who don't blindly follow orders, and who are prepared to stand out.

 

Career definitely matters to me. I wouldn't go near a lawyer (though, bizarrely, I have many as friends...) or a dentist, nor someone who worked in finance, insurance, or business. I'd need to find their job interesting to find them interesting enough to pursue something with them, and so anything routine / administrative would also be a turn off. As would professions like school teaching or nursing, where you just know large amounts of misery will be present. If someone is going to hate their job, I don't want to have to be hearing about it all the time.

 

On the other side, researchers, academics, doctors, motor mechanics, artists, musicians, blacksmiths, artisanal craftsmen, geologists, farmers, dancers, politicians, publicans, writers and distillers are definitely on the menu.

[Els]

Dream on. I find uniforms a big turn *off*. They remind me of school. They signal a lack of individuality. They suggest authoritarianism, strict hierarchy, and taking orders without question i.e. a lack of imagination and intellect. They look dull and boring.

 

It's like being attracted to an ant, or a sheep - something with hive / herd mentality. I prefer people who are able to think for themselves, who don't blindly follow orders, and who are prepared to stand out.

 

Career definitely matters to me. I wouldn't go near a lawyer (though, bizarrely, I have many as friends...) or a dentist, nor someone who worked in finance, insurance, or business. I'd need to find their job interesting to find them interesting enough to pursue something with them, and so anything routine / administrative would also be a turn off. As would professions like school teaching or nursing, where you just know large amounts of misery will be present. If someone is going to hate their job, I don't want to have to be hearing about it all the time.

 

On the other side, researchers, academics, doctors, motor mechanics, artists, musicians, blacksmiths, artisanal craftsmen, geologists, farmers, dancers, politicians, publicans, writers and distillers are definitely on the menu.

 

What? The majority of the teachers I know actually love their jobs. As do many nurses. I mean, sure there will be parts of it that they dislike, but that holds true for almost everyone in any job.

[Shepp]

I'm a full time firefighter, part time farmer. A lot of girls like the firefighter thing stereotypical but its actually the farm that really gets people talking and wanting to know stuff about it and that.

 

For me, as a (very much off the market) 23 year guy:

• People LOVING their job is sexy
  
• People doing something that geuniely makes a difference to the world or the planet is sexy
  

 

• The amount on your payslip.... pretty much has zero affect on attractiveness.

 

Ambition is sexy but more so if its for a purpose other than money.... if money is a big motivator for them then we probably wouldnt have been meant to be!

[Steve51]

I will throw modesty to the wind. I was lucky to be born with good looks, a great sense of humor and an IQ in the genius range. I always had girls chasing me and 30 of them had sex with me. It got better after I came home from a year of combat. Even in school I was a jock and not a geek even though I did geek things in addition to making the all star teams in both baseball and football. I had something for every school girl back then.

 

At the age of 21 I was able to afford the first of 9 new homes and by 25 I was making almost double than my dad was. Then a new class of women was attracted to me. In general, women are attracted to alpha males whether they know it or not. For most of mankind's history, a woman needed a man who could provide food and protection to her and her children. They would look for men who looked healthy (good looks) and were strong/intelligent. It allowed them to pass their genes on to more people than those who mated with inferior males. These days women do not even need men, just their sperm. However, genetic traits take a very long time to be breeded out and those that do no harm tend to stick around like hair on our heads and face.

 

In general women seek an alpha male. These days it is good looks, intelligence (Bill Gates), athleticism (that is why they get all the hot girls), wealth and power. These are the traits of the alpha male in modern times. Most women are not aware of how much their genes affect their taste in men. Women love alpha men and your job is a measure of your standing in society. Subconsciously, men and women are still looking for a mate that displays the characteristics of what their genes defines as a good mate. I did notice the difference in the type of women attracted to me after I was successful in business. No doubt about it. Firemen also attract women, not due to their wealth but rather their physical prowess. Most are not aware of how much our genes determine our actions. They are the ones that are immortal, not us. They push us into behaviors that have the best chance of them moving into the next generation. We are all hear as a the result of a very long line of ancestors who had genes that made them make good choices in a mate.

[SolG]

Yep, and that's not gender related. 3 of my friends now have stay at home husbands out of necessity (child care). And all 3 guys gave up good well paying careers to support the one of their wives.

 

2 extremely ambitious people rarely work well together.

 

Actually I read a study on female CEOs a while ago that concluded that the best type of partner for a highly successful woman is an equally successful and ambitious entrepreneurial type. They have the flexibility, confidence, resources and flair to accomodate their wife's demanding career and family obligations and enhance them both.

 

It's like being attracted to an ant, or a sheep - some things with hive / herd mentality. I prefer people who are able to think for themselves, who don't blindly follow orders, and who are prepared to stand out.

 

This may have been what military types were like a generation or two ago, but is certainly not my experience with the ones I know now! Albeit I am talking pretty much about commissioned officers in Western forces, but they are very much confident, intelligent, and very independent thinkers.

 

For me, as a (very much off the market) 23 year guy:

• People LOVING their job is sexy
  
• People doing something that geuniely makes a difference to the world or the planet is sexy
  

 

• The amount on your payslip.... pretty much has zero affect on attractiveness.

 

Ambition is sexy but more so if its for a purpose other than money.... if money is a big motivator for them then we probably wouldnt have been meant to be!

 

^^^This! True passion for what you do is sexy af.