Greenhawk84 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I just wanted to post a reason this woman cancelled our date tonight and have your thoughts; perhaps share with me other reasons you were cancelled on. I met her once before and things seem alright, she seems interested. But yesterday she tried to change the time from 7:30PM to 5:30PM because she has been pretty tired from work (understandable). But I had a notion she would all out call it off. Today she said "I forgot my parents are out of town and I need to take care of the cat." Do cats really need hours of babysitting? I say this is a bail-out excuse. She did ask to reschedule for Saturday, so it's not like she didn't set another potential meeting. I told her it's fine to tell me if she isn't feeling interested and she said "No I really want to." Just odd to me.. the cat.. Would you call her out on this? I didn't, I let it go. I'm learning not to show anyone I'm affected by these things. I'll just move along normally and see if Saturday night pans out. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 The cats may very well need tending to but that is a lame excuse. She could swing by deal with them & go out with you. She already tried to move the date once so she really is kind of low interest. I'd accept her cancelling but not pursue. If she comes back knocking down your door, consider another date but I wouldn't chase. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greenhawk84 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 If she comes back knocking down your door, consider another date but I wouldn't chase. Since she immediately asked to hang out Saturday night with "Anytime after 3PM is good" all on her own I accepted. If she bails again Saturday I'm not going to pursue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I missed that part. If she's offering up another date time she is interested. Go. Have fun. Check her for cat hair -- I'm kidding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greenhawk84 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 Or she may be.. weird.. we'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Something tells me that she doesn't want you to see her cat.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Seriousperson Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I just wanted to post a reason this woman cancelled our date tonight and have your thoughts; perhaps share with me other reasons you were cancelled on. I met her once before and things seem alright, she seems interested. But yesterday she tried to change the time from 7:30PM to 5:30PM because she has been pretty tired from work (understandable). But I had a notion she would all out call it off. Today she said "I forgot my parents are out of town and I need to take care of the cat." Do cats really need hours of babysitting? I say this is a bail-out excuse. She did ask to reschedule for Saturday, so it's not like she didn't set another potential meeting. I told her it's fine to tell me if she isn't feeling interested and she said "No I really want to." Just odd to me.. the cat.. Would you call her out on this? I didn't, I let it go. I'm learning not to show anyone I'm affected by these things. I'll just move along normally and see if Saturday night pans out. I would be very wary and have back up plans just in case. In my experience when a person keeps changing time/day of the date, they aren't all that interested. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Sounds like she had someone else she would rather go out with and is shuffling you around to accommodate him. Her interest level is low and she is meh on you. I would cancel on her and find a girl who's excited to go out with you. You'll have a lot more fun. Why spend your time and money on someone who is meh on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 She's just not that into you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Be kind. She asked to reschedule so she's clearly interested! It could be a cover for something weird or embarrassing (a cold sore, a monster zit, horrible diarrhea....) but as long as she wants to see you, you're good. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
shellybing Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 I just wanted to post a reason this woman cancelled our date tonight and have your thoughts; perhaps share with me other reasons you were cancelled on. I met her once before and things seem alright, she seems interested. But yesterday she tried to change the time from 7:30PM to 5:30PM because she has been pretty tired from work (understandable). But I had a notion she would all out call it off. Today she said "I forgot my parents are out of town and I need to take care of the cat." Do cats really need hours of babysitting? I say this is a bail-out excuse. She did ask to reschedule for Saturday, so it's not like she didn't set another potential meeting. I told her it's fine to tell me if she isn't feeling interested and she said "No I really want to." Just odd to me.. the cat.. Would you call her out on this? I didn't, I let it go. I'm learning not to show anyone I'm affected by these things. I'll just move along normally and see if Saturday night pans out. If you are exclusive, you should tell her you are upset about the cancellation, but also be understanding. My schedule changes alot. Sometimes I just don't feel like going on a date, and that is understandable. Maybe you could ask her if there are better times you can see her, or what her availability is. But, again be sure and let her know you were upset by the cancellation. Disregarding someones time and effort can become sticky and cause problems if there is a future. Understandably things come up, especially if you are in a new relationship or are just barely dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 I'd be cautious. It sounds like a delayed excuse. Saturday will come and something else will come up, or she will make other plans saying you didn't confirm a time...whatever she has up until 3pm will run over....any slight hint of flake, meaning anything other than she is free all night Saturday after 3pm, I'd stop, drop and roll away from her due to low interest. Cat sitting takes 5 minutes every other day. Drop food, maybe scoop poop and leave. Very weak excuse. I'd personally lose interest in someone that told me that. Guaranteed, if she was way into a guy, that would not stop her from seeing him. If she asked me about Saturday after that excuse, I'd probably tell her that's the day I cut my toenails so obviously I couldn't make time for her. My excuse would probably be more believable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greenhawk84 Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 (edited) Great comments guys, some making me smile. I am going to ease off of her and let her show me she's interested. Edited August 18, 2017 by Greenhawk84 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 It sounds like she is interested in you, but how interested is the question. She obviously is seeing someone else on Friday, duh.. moving it up to 5:30 would allow her to see both of you on the same night but in the end it was easier for her to back burner you and go with the other guy. Now.. all of that isn't so bad, she is just multi dating.. no matter what she tells you If you are interested in her now is the time for you to step up your game and get her to push the other guy to the side for good.. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 All this stuff about how she's "obviously" doing X or Y is irrelevant speculation. You have no idea what the truth is, and you might never know. If she flakes again then, okay, she isn't into him. But she made a point of rescheduling and reiterating her interest. That, to me, is a very good sign. One day of a first date I was doing plyometric circuit training and slammed my face hard into a bench. The resulting black eye was so unsightly I rescheduled the date for three days later, blaming it on work. It looked like someone had punched my lights out. Could you imagine a girl who on your first date tells you "tee hee I'm so clumsy, I hit a bench at the gym"? You wouldn't believe it either. Three days of ice and cold packs did the trick, and as it turned out we had a good relationship for several months afterwards. I'm just saying there are all kinds of reasons why someone might cancel, and they don't all have to do with manipulative jerkery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greenhawk84 Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 I'm just saying there are all kinds of reasons why someone might cancel, and they don't all have to do with manipulative jerkery. I agree, I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and she can do whatever she wants as a single woman. I also appreciate honesty because weak excuses look worse than "I'm just not feeling well tonight" or something along those lines. I know some people aren't the type to say "You're nice and everything but not what I am looking for." It really cuts a lot of bull**** and wasting of time when you clearly have answers. Link to post Share on other sites
OneLov Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 All this stuff about how she's "obviously" doing X or Y is irrelevant speculation. You have no idea what the truth is, and you might never know. If she flakes again then, okay, she isn't into him. But she made a point of rescheduling and reiterating her interest. That, to me, is a very good sign. One day of a first date I was doing plyometric circuit training and slammed my face hard into a bench. The resulting black eye was so unsightly I rescheduled the date for three days later, blaming it on work. It looked like someone had punched my lights out. Could you imagine a girl who on your first date tells you "tee hee I'm so clumsy, I hit a bench at the gym"? You wouldn't believe it either. Three days of ice and cold packs did the trick, and as it turned out we had a good relationship for several months afterwards. I'm just saying there are all kinds of reasons why someone might cancel, and they don't all have to do with manipulative jerkery. I completely agree. IME when a woman loses interest, she exits stage left. OP, you even acknowledged that she owes you nothing. Therefore, I highly doubt she would go on a second date out of sympathy. I am one to also put weight on the rescheduling. If she wanted out completely, couldn't she have told you that she would get back to you with another date/time and never called you back? To what level she is interested, who knows? It appears at least enough to see you again. I would not read more into it than that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 One day of a first date I was doing plyometric circuit training and slammed my face hard into a bench. The resulting black eye was so unsightly I rescheduled the date for three days later, blaming it on work. It looked like someone had punched my lights out. Could you imagine a girl who on your first date tells you "tee hee I'm so clumsy, I hit a bench at the gym"? You wouldn't believe it either. Three days of ice and cold packs did the trick, and as it turned out we had a good relationship for several months afterwards. I'm just saying there are all kinds of reasons why someone might cancel, and they don't all have to do with manipulative jerkery. I don't know, I think I'd have more respect and more in common with someone that said, "Hit my eye at work. Terrible black eye, not up to going out, can send a picture as proof", rather than, "I need to cancel because I forgot today I promised to give friend's cat a massage" or whatever lame excuse. I agree she offered to reschedule, but this is the exact same thing women (and men) do and expect the person to take the strong hint. When she is actually highly interested it is usually pretty evident. Instead of, "I have to wash my hair tonight", they will give a verifiable, legitimate reason. I mean seriously...she cancelled to watch her parent's cat. The obvious follow up question is what she was planning to do the other 8 hours of free time that left her that night. People can cancel for a variety of reasons, but the effort and sincerity of the reason they give should be taken into consideration. I think her reason here just reeks of low interest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Maybe this will help. I had a fourth date with a girl once. Invited her on 4th date to mine for takeout and film on tv and relax. Parents were out. She said yes. 2 hours before the date she cancelled saying she was tired and her mum was by herself at home and wanted to keep her company. It was a friday night and i was bymself at home and had no plans. I looked like a loser. I understand she was tired but she lived 2 mins away from me and we were just gonna stay home and watch tv not go out and do anything tiriing. She said sorry and wanted to reschedule for the day after. Anyways the relationship was ****. She only hung out with me cos she wanted company. She was never into me and i should have realised then 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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