Lolsausages Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Hi everyone, could use your advice. I live my life in constant worry about my wife and money. She seems unable to avoid drama at work and this is the 3rd job in a row where she has clashed with various people at work. I am living in constant fair that she will leave/quit/ get fired and our money situation will get very tight and stressful. She also takes off alot of days and doesnt think its a big deal but its obvious her employer does not feel this way, she doesnt seem to gage how her actions are interpreted by others. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Make a budget with her so she sees on paper what's needed & what she has to contribute. Build up your savings while she's working. Learn to be more frugal -- cook at home, cut out unnecessary memberships etc. Also talk to her about your fears. Everybody has different feelings about money. When we were 1st married my husband lost his job. I freaked. in was 2008 the year the all the financial markets crashed. I had only been running my then new business for four years & while it turned a profit, I was barely making ends meet. Granted I had a savings cushion which I had put in place before quitting my job to be self- employed but like everybody else my investments took a hit. My husband was dumbfounded by my fears. What I thought were the small amounts we saved during our short time together was actually more money then he'd ever had in the bank at any given time. Hearing that made me more panicky but it was good that we talked about it. It's a matter of perspective. He got another job quickly but that company closed the following year. I was calmer this time & my business was more profitable. He got unemployment for a while, then landed a fantastic job. They keys are communication, working together & having a cushion. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 You need to let her know how strongly you feel about this. This could definitely be a dealbreaker for me if a mate didn't take work seriously -- plus I have good work ethics and just don't respect anyone who doesn't, so I'd have a problem with their overall ethics, going beyond what they do at work. Is she biding her time until she gets pregnant or something and wanting to just not work? You better find out now and you better use birth control until you get some sort of agreement for going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 My ex was pretty good with money and def' a hard worker but financially where we went wrong was that she didn't tell me how bad things were. She handled the money and she was very good but not telling me , she just didn't wanna worry me , sadly that really brought things undone. The way we worked it with my income and hers l could have totally changed things if l knew and she'd have much more to work with. So yeah , l'd really try to talk this out with her first of all if l was you. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I would tell her about your fears, how this stresses you. Let her know it is important that you both do your bit. But basically, I doubt this relationship will last. It seems to be down to her personality and attitude. Is that really going to change? It might if she realises her marriage could be at stake. Link to post Share on other sites
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