"Help me!!!!

[lilmoma1973]

Why is it when you tell your child to do something they feel they have to whine to voice their opinion? My daughter that is five soon to be six drives me crazy with her damn whinning !! i am so sick of the constant whinning t o get her way .. i punish her and take things away .. she gets spankens all the time nothing works .. she even has time out .. i am at my wits end!! i never want another kid as long as i live!! i know thats harsh but she is angry all the time and has a temper and i klnow where she gets it she is like her dad .... i don't want her to end up being like him cause he can be mean when he wants to and it can be scary!! i am so stressed with dealing with her all this summer that i can't wait till she goes back to school!! i often wonder because my ss has no respect for us and doesn't like rules and responsibilties and dad lets him come and go as he please that she feels she should be able to do the same.. he has only been whipped in his entire 15 yrs once and thats it and he never gets in trouble for anything he does.. he got caught on the porn and he was suppose to be grounded and never was stayed with his mom and went to church but after supposing to be grounding was over he quit going to church.. my ss has no respect for any women he tells his mom to shut up all the time and calls her stupid and he can't do that to me and we clash and don't get along .. i guess thats why he don't like me to much cause i don't take that crap.. i don't know what to do anymore .. Please help me give me some suggestions

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

My exH and I don't accept whining from our kids and believe me, they WHINE!!!!!

 

We just calmy tell them to talk in a normal voice so we can understand what the're trying to say. Or, if you're going to whine, I can't listen....and then walk away. They might chase you down, just keep walking from room to room, get ear plugs if you must. Make it clear that you will not listen to them when they whine.

 

Don't yell, don't spank, don't scream, don't lose it.....don't listen ...until she can talk in a normal voice.

 

I'm a whiner too, drove my mom crazy.

[Outcast]

You need to go see a counsellor FAST. You should not be 'spankin' her for 'whining'. Your anger and stress is only making her worse. You are doing your child a disservice with your behaviour. Go buy Dr. Phil's book on Family First and learn how to take care of a child properly

 

[lilmoma1973]

thanks for the replies.. outcast i am not taking my anger and stress out on my child .. i had spakens when i was little and i turned out good never did drugs or got in trouble with the law so i totally am for spanking .. i disagree with you on that aspect

[Outcast]

Your logic is flawed. Kids who were not spanked - like me - turn out perfectly fine, too. There is no intelligent reason to spank a child, and particularly not if she's 'whining'. You teach her nothing except to hit people who bug you.

[clandestinidad]

I agree....its wrong to SPANK a child just for WHINING

[Skeered]

Spanking for whining is not necessary...however to say spankin is wrong entirely is a blanket statement that would be a whole other thread...lol

 

I too have a child that likes to whine and argue with everything I say...she's 10 now and she's getting a lot better about it however she has her moments..what I have found that works with her at this age is to just continue to be a no bones about it parent. I don't yell or freak out...I just simply tell her you can keep whining but you will end up doing it the way I have told you too. Children learn to respect by the respect they are givin...also on occasion I have asked her what she would like to do differently other than what I am tellin her...she then voices her opinion and we make a decision based on that...sometimes I have seen her point and said ok we can try it that way. If they are whining just because they don't want to do chores or something that is a time to just lay down the law...but do it without freakin out or raising your voice...

[SugarNSpice55]

I got spankings when I was growing up and I'm not knocking them, but sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles for how you want to handle things.

 

Being spanked for whinning is probably not one of those times. Most all kids whine at one point or another about things. It's in how we as parents/adults choose to handle certain situations.

 

Even though my husband and I both got spankings for things when we were young, we made a pact that we would do things a little different with our kids than when we were young.

 

Sure my kids have received a swift pop on the backside, but for the most part we talk to our kids calmly as possible. It's not always easy to do either, especially when they know what buttons to push with us. That is when we as parents/adults learn how to control our own behavior.

 

Kids learn what they see/hear. As I was reading your post, I became kind of tense, in the fact that I felt you were angry and that I myself was being scolded like a child. I understand you're frustrated about things your child does or the way they act, but like I said kids learn what they see/hear.

 

I'm not sure what other stresses you have or have gone on in your household, but it seems to me that maybe its possible your child reacts you to you, the way you act to her first. Yelling, screaming, etc., will never get the point across. It takes practice and a learned control over how we act towards them. If we are snappy at them, or hateful, chances are they will be that way in return.

 

It could be your child is reacting to you the way you act towards her first. If you have tried various things and still not getting anywhere with her behavior or why she acts the way she does. It could be that the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree if you know what I mean.