SonalP1984 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I recently found out that my husband is a completely different person when he is with friends. They comment about girls body passing on the street and I even heard him say he would totally **** this or that girl passing by. I initially thought of this as being guy talk and him wanting to show how manly he is, but I can't stop wondering if he goes to strip clubs and brothels with some of his friends who are still single (and some married and cheated in the past) - as how would he decline if he is constantly talking about how this or that girl passing on the street is making him horny and he feels like to **** them ? He likes his freedom and goes with his friends for hours. If it's just showing off, won't his friends laugh at him if he says he can't go to these places. I have serious doubts. When I ask him he says he never cheated on me. But since I heard his talks I am suspicious ? . We live in India. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Origin Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Unless you have evidence everything you wrote is an assumption. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Does he go to strip clubs? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Have you asked him? Mostly I chalk up guy talk as just that. Words that aren't meant for our ears. If my husband went to a brothel, the locks would be changed before he got home. Hell no. I personally don't consider strip clubs cheating but many do. I consider them a waste of money but that's another discussion. If you consider them cheating you need to talk to your husband about the appropriate boundaries in your marriage & then settle on a course of action if he violates those boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Do even his friends go to strip clubs and brothels, or are you just assuming that guys saying "that girl is hot" means that they would do other things? I don't know what's common in your area, but it's not clear from your post. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I recently found out that my husband is a completely different person when he is with friends. They comment about girls body passing on the street and I even heard him say he would totally **** this or that girl passing by. I initially thought of this as being guy talk and him wanting to show how manly he is, but I can't stop wondering if he goes to strip clubs and brothels with some of his friends who are still single (and some married and cheated in the past) - as how would he decline if he is constantly talking about how this or that girl passing on the street is making him horny and he feels like to **** them ? He likes his freedom and goes with his friends for hours. If it's just showing off, won't his friends laugh at him if he says he can't go to these places. I have serious doubts. When I ask him he says he never cheated on me. But since I heard his talks I am suspicious ? . We live in India. Thank you If you are in suspicion mode then you need to start investigating. The gut is rarely wrong and I guess your gut is screaming here that something is just not right. If you seriously think he is cheating then say nothing and keep your eyes and ears open. Confronting him will just mean he knows you are suspicious and he will just cover his tracks better. Check his phone and other devices, check his credit card statements, find out if he is spending lots of unaccounted for money. You can buy a VAR and put it in his car/study to monitor his conversations. Look around your home for hidden phones and devices. Follow him when he goes out or get a friend to do so. If you can afford it hire a PI. YOU can choose to live in this height4ened state of worry or you can take steps to find out the truth. No-one here can say he is a good guy or is up to no good, we don't know him or what he is capable of.. Link to post Share on other sites
Southwardbound Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I recently found out that my husband is a completely different person when he is with friends. They comment about girls body passing on the street and I even heard him say he would totally **** this or that girl passing by. I initially thought of this as being guy talk and him wanting to show how manly he is, but I can't stop wondering if he goes to strip clubs and brothels with some of his friends who are still single (and some married and cheated in the past) - as how would he decline if he is constantly talking about how this or that girl passing on the street is making him horny and he feels like to **** them ? He likes his freedom and goes with his friends for hours. If it's just showing off, won't his friends laugh at him if he says he can't go to these places. I have serious doubts. When I ask him he says he never cheated on me. But since I heard his talks I am suspicious ? . We live in India. Thank you Men are visual. It's how they process things. If he is speaking those comments in front of you, then it's because he feels confident in his relationship with you, knowing that he can communicate anything with you. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Men are visual. It's how they process things. If he is speaking those comments in front of you, then it's because he feels confident in his relationship with you, knowing that he can communicate anything with you. Yes, he may feel confident that she will not leave him, but he may be doing it to try to make her feel horrible about herself... Link to post Share on other sites
Southwardbound Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Yes, he may feel confident that she will not leave him, but he may be doing it to try to make her feel horrible about herself... If she thinks that is the case, then she should just ASK him point blank. Why he feels the need to make those comments? Why he feels the need to look/ check other women out? How does it make him feel? The key as in any relationship when one has issues is to directly communicate with one another. That should be the first step solution. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 How would he react if you made the same comments about good looking men on the street? Because I'd serve up some of his own medicine if he thinks his behaviour is acceptable for a married man. That would soon wipe the smile off his face. Absolute nonsense. I wouldn't put up with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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