Does a history of cheating taint future relationships?

[elaine567]

Everything is white noise after I find out you cheated. The reason is because it shows weakness in character a selfish person and shows trust isn't a big deal to that person. It takes so many steps to cheat. Talking about it, getting to where it goes down, taking off clothes and then actually performing the act. All that and you didn't think one time to stop.

 

No deals.

 

Agreed and that is just a ONS, many affairs last for weeks, months even years of multiple steps to cheat, each one a deliberate decision...

[road]

Agreed and that is just a ONS, ..

 

 

Disagree.

 

Whether a EA first for months, or if they met in a

bar and one hour later they are going at it.

 

Nor does it matter how many times nor

how sober nor drunk.

 

Phrases to minimize do not lessen what happened

or help the BS for we all know that whatever

happened there is still something that could of

made things worse.

 

Honey I have some good news and bad news

I give you the bad news first, I'm pregnant and the

OM is the dad.

 

The good news is that I'm not having twins.

[IDB_2017]

My recent ex-GF of 6 years was emotionally cheating on me during a period of LDR that was ending very shortly. I broke up with her after she was unable to commit to staying in our relationship because she had lost 'the spark' and wasn't sure we could get it back. I needed 110% commitment, but she couldn't provide that.

 

Through speaking with her, I found out that she had also finished her previous relationship (3-4 years long) because she had lost the spark (but the decision was mutual). She had also physically cheated on him one night.

 

She had actually implied that she had physically cheated once when we got together. I was only 21 and it didn't really register. Thinking back, I was naive and thought that she was in some way justified because her relationship wasn't going so well. How wrong I was.

 

Despite having, by all accounts, a pretty great relationship with her for nearly 6 years, she basically began to pull the same crap on me. She has low self-esteem and self-confidence, thinks her social skills are terrible, and needs validation by having many friends. At the same time, she's very attractive (a body to die for, to be honest) and so I was always aware that guys would be attracted to her.

 

I trusted her with everything, even while LD. This whole episode has made me quite bitter really and annoyed that I didn't see any signs previously. I just wonder whether her emotional cheating really was the first time she had done it while with me.

[Logo]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[drifter777]

Entering a relationship when you know they have cheated is emotional suicide. Life is too short.

[road]

Entering a relationship when you know they have cheated is emotional suicide. Life is too short.

 

Suicide is a strong word.

 

I have seen WS's slip up once and then

learned and changed to never slip again.

 

Though when taking a chance on a ex-cheater

the odds can vary. One's risk aversion and the

level of their ability to get the whole past

history story is what effects the risks.

 

I am getting old. Married a long time. I have

no desire to remarry in my later years. That

said, I would be very leery to marry an ex-WW.

[Ostepop]

There's a lot of info on the net on how being cheated upon can affect the betrayed spouse's future relationships. There's not so much on how a cheater's new relationships are affected because of their history of cheating in a previous relationship

 

What i am interested in knowing however is whether any of you have dated someone who had previously cheated in a previous relationship and whether they told you about it and whether they repeated the same while with you?

 

I find it quite obvious that one who has been cheated on will be wary in future relationships. Obviously it will depend on the severity. I know myself, if i was cheated on i would instinctively keep my eyes and ears open and looks for signs in a new partner, especially early on. And i would never date a cheater. It's asking for trouble.