porn abuse!!!!

[skantechtech]

I was very open minded about porn as well and never saw any harm in it, until I met my husband a porn addict. It has affected his ability to have an intimate sexual relationship. My father is also a porn addict. My step mother told me he can't have sex without porn. She and I both feel like objects, pieces of meat to these men. Addiction to porn is harmful. The men that are addicted are so profoundly changed by it, they have difficulty with normal relationships. Would you believe that my husband has tried to arrange his friends to have sex with me, and didn't even tell me, was going to try to get me drunk and coerce me. One of the final stages of porn addiction is when they "act out". I have no trust for him, no respect, and I am beginning to hate him. I have begun seeking help, because I have lost all goodness in life because of how he treats me. The addiction changes men. And you are wrong, there are women addicts as well. I have been researching this problem for over a year. I am not one of them, but I have read the testimonies of many. Here are some useful links. You will see that they are mostly scientific. I am not religious. "RecordProducer", ignorance is bliss. I was once in your shoes. I never saw a problem with porn or addiction. But when you love a man that is an addict and you experience the feelings of betrayal, when you see he has a good heart underneath his vices and problems, yet can't reach it because he is trying so hard to prevent himself from getting hurt. When you see a man that doesn't believe real love exists, but can see the part of him inside crying out for love. When he hurts you verbally, and emotionally with his self centeredness. When you go out for a drink with the man you love, and because of the images playing over in his head, he is too busy staring at every other woman in the room but you. He is constantly trying to get them to display themselves publically. Then he makes a big deal about it all night, like it was the most awesome thing that ever happened to him. Or how about when he gets angry at you for not sleeping with his friends. You haven't been in the hell. You don't have to worry about the effects of his actions on your children. I can't leave the house without my 3 children because he will be viewing porn the whole time I am gone. Which means they will be unsupervised and/or will walk in on something they shouldn't see. I say, if your porn habits are bothering you, seek help, now, before it progresses into the later stages. If you are seeing it alter your thoughts, do something about it, because it is affecting you.

 

The Brain Science Behind Pornography Addiction

http://open-mind.org/News/SLA/16a.htm

 

Please check out these forums and see what other addicts and spouses have to say.

http://lightwave.proboards48.com/

 

Some good websites:

http://www.sexualcontrol.com/

http://www.sexaddict.com/FAQ.html

[Ladywithafan]

crack addiction with porn....

[skantechtech]

I don't even want to imagine what that would be like. The little voices in my head would definitely be screaming "Run, Run, Run"

[sad girl mad girl]

it's like breaking a smoking habit keep throwing out the porn

get deadlines done like go to the gym, running stay busy have a to do list you will be ok, remember not to feel guilty about you situation this will only make you feel worse look at it as if you have a bad cut and need to take care of it and one day it will heal and if you do it right all that will be left is a small scare

[Complicated man]

I too am a porn addict and its not like I never knew that porn was a problem. I have known for quite a while that this habit is destructive; the problem, as any confessing porn addict can attest to, is that I'm having one HELL of a time kicking the habit.

 

The fact that I'm 23, w/ the testosterone at toxic levels doesn;t help the addiction one bit. Even if I do resist porn for a while, then at university the dreaded hiphugger curves and ass cleavage from lowrise jeans are there to greet me. If I avoid the ass cleavage, THEN the chest cleavage problem is there to haunt me. IF I bypass both respective cleavages and refuse to let my eyes fall on the female waistline and chest, then I hear guys and girls talking about this subject and making casual sexual jokes every now and then. If even then I persist, then I come home, turn on the TV and every fricken channel and sitcom again brings up the subject of sex. Don't even get me started on MuchMusic. SO, this leaves only two possible solutions:

 

A) Blinding myself- ie. literally picking my eyes out

 

or,

 

B) Retreating to a cave in the mountains, and abandoning society altogether.

 

(although I posted this message already on LS, I thought it relevant to this discussion as well)

[Guest]

ok so yeah lately I've been looking at more porn then usual. I actually shouldn't be looking at it since it sometimes makes people depressed and stuff. My friend told me not to because it's not good and I didn't know what he meant so i did it anyway. Now I'm getting bad images when I think about girls and I only see them in one way and stuff. I feel so horrible that I think this way. I need to get my good sense back how do I do it???

 

 

 

--Mark

 

 

men are visual creatures,

 

in one reply someone mentioned 'just dont look at it' i am guessing you already though of that ingenious idea and its not working for you

 

my experience with addiction is - if it wasn't porn it would be something else, its just what you are fixating on

 

perhaps you have some unresolved childhood issues that need to addressed? abuse? parental divorce at a critical mile stone in your development? no strong male role models? strict catholic upbringing? a family that never speaks about sex? i dont know - just food for thought

 

but like all things, you are now aware you have a problem and you can fix it, i might not have the answer, but it is out there and it is all trial and error

 

good luck

[Outcast]

You have to make the distinction between 'addiction' and normal male horniness.

 

It is not abnormal nor addictive to think about sex several times a day and even masturbate a few times when you're young. However if you think about it so much that it prevents you from doing other things, it's time to see a counsellor. Your school will have a counselling service. It's much saner to go talk to a professional than to poke out your eyes.

[jandy girl]

So basicly im 15... i was molested when i was younger and turned onto porn and sexual themes (They dont even know about that.) lately i have become stronger in my religious beliefs christianity. I need to stop my porn addiction but im not sure how i live out of the city and cant really tell my parents about it. With my major porn adiction i find myself looking at more "hard core" pictures and movies over a 4.5 year period. I am also finding it harder to get attacted to normal people at my schools. The way i get attracted to people has changed also. I used to get attacted to people because of how there face looks. What color there eyes were. Now its all phisical and i hate it more then anything. I am not a bad person i just turned down the wrong road and have no where to turn. I know I cant tell my parents about it. Any advice would help alot.

 

Firstly, i applaud your strength in acknowledging you were molested and confronting this terrible thing that another person has violated on the highest level.

 

There should be a ZERO tolerance to this kind of behaviour - have you reported him to the police?

 

You need support to get through this because if you dont address these issues now they will manifest into something else latter that will be even harder to get out of eg:drug addiction or een killing yourself

 

My advice, GET SUPPORT, as much as you need, grab the bull by both hands, you are a survior.

 

good luck, i know you can do it dude

 

xoxoxoxoxo

[Shawnster]

MEN NEED SEX TO FEEL LOVED

Just like women need to feel loved to have sex.

Ill say this bluntly because it needs to be said:

STOP MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS.

Truth be told honestly, WOMEN do not understand.

Before you jump my case let me state my case.

I have no right to start a movement against PMS, or any other women specific issue that I

dont understand because I am a man. In the same way women do not understand

male masurbation.

I am a masturbator. Like 95% of all men. Really.

I like to masturbate to porn. Why? better orgasm.

I also like to drink alcohol, but I am not an Alcoholic.

I do not smoke but I do not jump a smokers case if they like doing it.

Is smoking bad for your health, yes! And I would do all I could to help

if someone wanted to quit.

My point is:

Just like alcohol can be an addiction and lead to bad stuff doesnt mean it does for me.

Could it in the future, yes!

So why is this important. Because the attention needs to be on the cause and not the effect.

Masterbating to porn is an effect. It is not the cause of relationship problems it is the result

of relationship problems.

Case in point, no relationship at all. Ask single(not getting any)guys if they masterbate.

The answer whether they admit to it or not would be yes. Why?

Because guys are wired to need sex, before alot of other things happen, like feeling loved.

Yes I know you can debate this all day but lets look closer.

IF YOU ASKED ANY GUY ANYWHERE IF HE COULD CHOOSE, PUSSY OR PORN(gay etc. excluded) HE WOULD CHOOSE PUSSY!

Why then is there a problem at all. Because it isnt the problem it is the effect of a problem.

Just the way Drugs and Alcohol are used to offset something else so is porn.

I am married. Sex with my wife involves a 22 step romantic process, and thats only if she is in the mood to start it. This leads to alot of time and effort to pick her emotional lock so she feels loved and we can have sex. Which by the way is really what Im interested in. A couple of hours later(if there is that to spare) she is satisfied. This of course happens on the stipulation that im not pissed at her and she isnt pissed at me, etc. etc. I could have been satisfied in 5 min in the computer room.

I hate to burst your bubble but sex for a guy involves mainly one part. The penis

Women think they understand this, but then they wouldnt be asking the question "WHY PORN".

To put it simply we are either not getting what we want or enough of it. I dont want to spend an hour romancing my wife(every day mind you, romance is still an important part). I just feel like I am filling my taxes every time I want to use money.

I DO WANT A BLOWJOB EVERYDAY. AND WOULD NEVER EVER LOOK AT PORN AGAIN IF I GOT IT.

Bingo.

Also If sex involved more spuratic, "Gee honey since we stoped for gas, how about a blowjob in the bathroom". I would worship the ground she walked on.

Instead I am reduced to self sex with porn.

Lets talk about the porn issue. Pretend we just took all the porn in the world away. HURAY!

Now guys masterbate without porn. Maybe thinking a girl they want to have sex with or the last

time they had sex. Isnt that interesting, the problem isnt solved. Lets take away masterbation.

All the sudden suicides go up,divorce rates rise, REAL DRUG USE HAPPENS!

Why?

Because the problem isnt solved. Just in the way you would yell at a man with a wooden leg for limping. BUT I HAVE A WOODEN LEG, trying to cure the limp isnt going to solve anything.

I am not promoting porn or trying to defend it. I think porn is bad. Why? Lots of reasons you prob.

already know.

I AGREE!

This however does not solve the problem. I need sex. I need a certain kind and amount of sex. Men need sex. Men need sex diffrently than women.

Really ladies would you rather have your man jacking off on the computer or sleeping with the secretary. MEN ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX. How would you like them to have it.\?

One of my friends wife just left him to a guy she never met but just chatted with online. Why?

Because the guy online gave her the emotional fullfilment she needed. In the same way we men

have a physical need we ARE going to get, one way or another.

The next time you find your hubby masterbating on the computer, go and turn off the computer

and help him masturbate. You might be suprised. And before you know it he wont even need to

masterbate.

 

[pisces1303]

Well I'm in a youth group thing for kids who want to see what it's like to be a police officer. It's only Monday nights so far.

 

Um..... If I don't look at porn can I still....

 

I'm doing better with it now . But that's only because I'm in a boarding school and the internet is watched hehe. When I go home I do get it though :/. I'll fight it off.