Author pisces1303 Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 I think the safest and most normal thing to do is to look at nude women or maybe partly clothed women. I suppose you can use women in clothes but the healthiest idea is to associate sexual feelings with things which are supposed to be sexual. I don't think nude women is okay at the moment for me. It's changing my perspective towards women in general. (not healthy) Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 I think you should worry if you are thinking of things during this time that you know to be wrong - based on your belief system. For example, if you are thinking of very young children - wrong. If you are thinking of forcibly raping someone (with violence and domination as the theme) - wrong. Dogs, trees, tupperware - most likely wrong (not sure on the tupperware). This is your presonal time to allow your desires to write a story in your head. The only caveat to that - I assume you were asking if it is okay to masterbate to the idea of these women - not while conversing with them, right? Because standing there playing with yourself in the midst of a conversation is generally frowned upon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces1303 Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 I sort of understood the first paragraph but the second is a little hard to get for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Hi I dont want to interupt but i have a problem that im trying to battle with.I wondered if you can help? First well done the first step is realising you have a problem. What is it that people get addicted to porn?I mean what makes them get addicted? Maybe this will help me understand more Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces1303 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Hi I dont want to interupt but i have a problem that im trying to battle with.I wondered if you can help? First well done the first step is realising you have a problem. What is it that people get addicted to porn?I mean what makes them get addicted? Maybe this will help me understand more Thanks Well for some it's just fantasy. Other's it can be a way to think about something else like say; when your depressed. It can also be used to relax for some people. "Me" I just get depressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 I dont understand exactly but i do in a way.Do men fantisize about the actual women in porn or the acts and stuff they are doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces1303 Posted October 4, 2005 Author Share Posted October 4, 2005 I think it's mostly about the women. Like, the women in the porn usually they can't have them. So it brings up fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Renegader Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 Prorn is ruining my life. i have a girlfriend of 3.5 years, and she has had enough of me looking at porn? i know i am addicted and i dont want to lose her. what should i do to kick my habit? Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Try looking on the internet there should be some sites that help. Link to post Share on other sites
xXSURFAGEXx Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 How about doing that with her? That= :love: Link to post Share on other sites
muhlissuh Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Here's my suggestion... Get into the industry, see all of the ugly sides of it. I'm guessing all the loose gine and STD's won't look so attractive anymroe. If worst comes to worst, try picturing your mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces1303 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 Well im back . So far the whole week was bad with the addiction. Just a few nights ago I felt like I was actually getting bored of it maybe? Well I don't know, because I looked at it a day after that. I know I don't need it and I would be happier without it but its so hard to stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Try looking into counselling.That might help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pisces1303 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 I have a psychiatrist but he's the one who told me fantasy is okay for the body. "It's like a way to please yourself" or something. Anyway it's embarrassing... Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 maybe its ok in moderation but not to the extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
Complicated man Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 As I have already posted in my other thread, I found this shocking part of an article, which marker, and everyone should know about the tricks the porn industry plays. I can relate to this thread as I'm a 23 yr old porn addict and hate it, and although I'm not at all interested in the disastrous things the following article talks about, I have become aroused by thinking about things now that in the past would never have excited me, and that I saw as humiliating ie. masochism, facesitting. Anyway, here's a pasrt of the article: (Removed URL and copyrighted material) Link to post Share on other sites
GotRidOfHim Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 I'm pretty open minded and love wild sex but my ex let porn come between us and it killed all desire I had for him. His porn usage affected his performance and our relationship. The guy is 47 - you'd think by now he would have outgrown his immaturity and need for porn. I want a porn free guy in my life - not a pervert. I love sex, am willing to take care of my partner and satisfy him - in return I want someone who doesn't cheat on my by jacking off to images of other women. When will guys get it - maybe if all of us women started masturbating to porn and substituting hot well hung firemen pics for sex instead of them they'd catch on! Link to post Share on other sites
zorro66 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 ok so yeah lately I've been looking at more porn then usual. I actually shouldn't be looking at it since it sometimes makes people depressed and stuff. My friend told me not to because it's not good and I didn't know what he meant so i did it anyway. Now I'm getting bad images when I think about girls and I only see them in one way and stuff. I feel so horrible that I think this way. I need to get my good sense back how do I do it??? --Mark Hmm well I'm probably not the best person to take advice from, I admit I look at pr0n sometimes, usually send the latest glam shot from a new actress to a buddy or whatever. I think it is like alcohol and drinking, a beer with your supper is great but no one wants to be an alcoholic... too much of anything is bad. If I ever feel weirded out like I'm being a perv or wanting to see more I just do something else you know, grab a game of DOOM3 or some CS or hook up with some buds and chill, maybe go outside and do something. Sitting in front of the comp all day can do worse things to your body than to your mind and spirit. So, play some racketball or some xbox, use the PC for something useful besides pr0n and I think you'll turn out just fine. -Zorro66 Link to post Share on other sites
dnm1010 Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 well some people are comfortable with porn in their lives and as long as theyre honest i dont see the problem, but once it turns into lies then i see a problem. if you look at porn and feel bad for doing it then you should figure out why you do it and why it makes you feel bad. i cant tell you if it is right or wrong for you to look at porn, it is an internal struggle from what i hear. but let me just tell you that i am engaged to a guy with an addiction and he tried to be clean for a yr and then lied to me but i found out and i am very torn right now. i love him and we are trying to worth through this in a loving manner together. he started his habbit young you please be careful not to get so deeply addicted that it will actually affect your future. now im just depressed and i dont trust him. well see where this takes us. Link to post Share on other sites
no sex for me Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 Here's my fifty cents worth. In grad school I did two years of sex research (sexual compulsivity included) and looked at porn almost everday (mostly gay male since sex research tends to focus on areas of epidemiologic concern- compulsivity + STD/HIV risk = serious consequences), interviewed hundreds of sex workers (mostly high paid escorts), and swamped through the literature ad nauseum. I make no claims as to being an "expert", but I do have some insight and to make note that I am not on an anti-porn kick. That said, internet porn has ruined my relationship with my boyfriend of two and half years. I knew he looked at porn and didn't really care since I've had relationships before where it was not a problem AT ALL and had been paid to look at gay and straight porn for two years. At times, I would get very turned on and my response was to send dirty emails to my boyfriend, telling him what I would do to him later on. Occupational hazards aside, I was blindsighted by HIS use. Cutting to the chase, after we moved in together he began to have erection problems and his "style" of sex changed to be much less erotic and more "camera ready" than I liked. Then he couldn't get it up anymore and it became a huge turn off to see him trying to root around to get an erection with my, if I may say, very nice if not large breasts. I am a rather attractive woman, tall and slim, and have never before felt threatened by porn. But this scenario left me feeling like a dirtbag. Low self-esteem? Too easy of an answer. He can't get an erection with me because I am no longer enough stimulation - end of story. Even though I am an attractive woman with a very strong libido, who wouldn't mind having sex everyday if I could get the chance, I'm no longer "enough" for his tastes. We talked about it and he "reduced" his porn consumption, but that lasted for four days. He now claims he has an "addiction" which he can't stop. I take issue with the word "addiction" in the classic sense, since sexual compulsivity is a culture-bound LEARNED behavior. Yes, sensitization and escalation occur, but the same holds for all compulsive behaviors, such as gambling, eating, even toenail picking. There is treatment, but very little is known about outcomes. There is virtually NO evidence that planned treatments work, despite what the clinical community claims. What it boils down to is motivation. You see a therapist, you join a support group, you buy a book on it --- the outcomes are determined almost exclusively on motivation toward change. The guy who gets a compulsive porn habit who is genuinely concerned about negative consequences (like losing his girlfriend) will DO something. If there are no negative consequences in sight, he ain't gonna change. Unfortunately for me, if I stay with the beau, his "needs" will be met, sexually and compulsively, by the porn and then he has me for the arm candy/maid/snuggle factor. Seriously raw deal. The pickle I'm in is that I even went off the pill so as to INCREASE my libido to try to jazz things up despite the fact that the pill is what gets rid of my premenstrual nastiness (it's bad, trust me). I felt terrible that I would put myself at such risk (my pms/pmdd symptoms are near life-wrecking) for the sake of our relationship and yet he wants to keep his porn and his girlfriend too. I suggested books, and that I am kind of a gold mine of information, but he lacks motivation to change. He feels it is out of his control. I feel it is about a lack of self-efficacy, determination, and willingness to deal with his anxieties that have manifested in sexual compulsion. It makes me very sad that we were not on the same page - that I was willing to put the relationship first and he wasn't. I have a feeling that much of the porn debate is about that - the difference in willingness to participate in a relationship. Porn is an easy way to avoid intimacy and the male's "hardwiring" (well-studied by porn marketers btw) for visual stimuli is a lazy man's out. How I long for a courageous man with a raging sex drive. Pardon the length of this. That's my 50 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 ok so yeah lately I've been looking at more porn then usual. I actually shouldn't be looking at it since it sometimes makes people depressed and stuff. My friend told me not to because it's not good and I didn't know what he meant so i did it anyway. Now I'm getting bad images when I think about girls and I only see them in one way and stuff. I feel so horrible that I think this way. I need to get my good sense back how do I do it??? There is nothing wrong with watching porn. Masturbation is an important part of the single sex life. The reason why you feel depressed afterwards is because others have injected the ridiculous feeling of guilt in your mind. Keep relieving your sexual tension until you find a GF. The reason why you see women as the ones in the porn is because you desire them. Don't let religion poison your mind that sex is dirty and wanting sex is evil. Almost all men undress women in their minds and have erections many times every day without feeling bad about it. Sexual pleasure is very important and brings a lot of joy in our lives when performed with the right person. Be thankful to mother nature (or god) for this gift! Link to post Share on other sites
The kid Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 So basicly im 15... i was molested when i was younger and turned onto porn and sexual themes (They dont even know about that.) lately i have become stronger in my religious beliefs christianity. I need to stop my porn addiction but im not sure how i live out of the city and cant really tell my parents about it. With my major porn adiction i find myself looking at more "hard core" pictures and movies over a 4.5 year period. I am also finding it harder to get attacted to normal people at my schools. The way i get attracted to people has changed also. I used to get attacted to people because of how there face looks. What color there eyes were. Now its all phisical and i hate it more then anything. I am not a bad person i just turned down the wrong road and have no where to turn. I know I cant tell my parents about it. Any advice would help alot. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm1010 Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 can you talk to a counselor at school about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Errorising Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 get a password protected blocking program, there are hundreds on the net, even one built into internet explorer, set it to block specific words and stuff you search for porn with, type a random password, and then forget it, then you wont be able to even if your lust overides your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
morphius Posted January 23, 2006 Share Posted January 23, 2006 I just don't want dirty thoughtsd. If someone says anything to me I assume in my head it could be sexual even though it wasn't. I hate it! So will these bad thoughts and stuff eventually go away and I'll go back to who I was if I stop looking at it? Dude there aint nothing wrong with having dirty thoughts, by default the whole male species thinks about sex every 2 seconds! There is nothing wrong with looking at "above board" and "legal" porn, just use it in moderation... Link to post Share on other sites
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