shast Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 (edited) Hello everyone! I've been a regular reader of Loveshack and always found it useful. I found myself in a situation where I feel the need to post this and maybe I would feel better. I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 years, he's Indian and when we decided to get married, his family was against it because they expect him to have an arranged marriage. He tried to convince them for one year, but then they gave him an ultimatum; them or me. He chose them over me and two months after our break up, he got engaged to someone else. They posted it all over social media and he's giving everyone the impression that he's in love with her and chose to marry her. Needless to stay, I'm heartbroken and still want him back. But, I'm also very confused. I didn't know he was engaged right away as I don't check his social media, and every now and then we'd exchange very innocent text messages if something came up, but he's had many opportunities to inform me he's engaged but never did. He also hung out with one of my friends recently and didn't mention that he's engaged, but he did say that he's moved on (without specifying how) and no longer had feelings for me. Should I tell him that I know he's engaged? I know you all will probably tell me I shouldn't care or spend energy on this, but I just can't stop thinking and being hurt... Edited August 21, 2017 by shast Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 You should tell him you know he's engaged & that you are getting completely out of his life. You are an honorable person & it would be wrong for you two to continue to be in contact. He chose tradition & now you need to respect that & take care of yourself by fully separating from him. Hugs. I know your pain is real. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Yep , go with donni's. But the hiding it ,sounds to me like he caved into he's parents thing and he's probably ashamed, especially with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shast Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 You're right. He initiated contact (for the first time since we broke up) and I took the chance to tell him that we shouldn't be talking since he's engaged. I was planning on telling him that I wish him happiness, but I really couldn't. I don't know if it makes me a bad person, but I really couldn't say it. He never responded to my message, I'm not sure how I feel about that either. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I doubt he's happy by all of this. You ae a reminder of what he lost & can't have. It's better for both of you to stay apart. As awful as this is, you still have the chance to go & find a different love. He's stuck marrying a woman he doesn't even know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shast Posted August 23, 2017 Author Share Posted August 23, 2017 I doubt he's happy by all of this. You ae a reminder of what he lost & can't have. It's better for both of you to stay apart. As awful as this is, you still have the chance to go & find a different love. He's stuck marrying a woman he doesn't even know. Thank you for your kind words Unfortunately for me, he seems to be very content and dare I say even happy with his fiance. I will need to get over the feeling that I wasted almost all of my 20's (I'm 30 now) loving him and under the impression he gave me that he is capable of making such a decision on his own even if he comes from a traditional Indian family. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
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