Gaeta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Maybe you are right. I just use it as one way to meet people and see what they're about. There are sleazes, but at least they're more transparent than on other apps. I've read a lot of people here found their bf on tinder. I think a lot of times what people say want or are open to is based on how they feel about you A lot of people here 'with problems' did indeed meet their boyfriend on Tinder. I can't remember someone on here with a solid relationship out of Tinder. Same Dating apps are different depending where you are from. Where I am eHarmony is useless. I was on it 1 month and never even got to speak with someone they were all from the US (I'm in Canada). Here there is very little traffic on okcupid but badoo is buzzing. I heard in the US Badoo is considered a trash dating place but here it's one of the few decent place to meet someone. That's where I met my bf, and the one before. Tinder seems to be a hook-up place no matter where you are in the world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Orbiters are having strange supernatural senses. They flare up immediately when I go through unpleasant dating situation without telling them a word. One asked me to tell me a story. I asked where? 'In your house'. Yeah sure. The other one insisted on giving me a ride so we can talk. But we just talked? I don't know what shows them when I'm 'available'. I literally never share a word about my personal life. Anyway, orbiters or OLD, I'm absolutely giving a break of dating, multi dating and all the madness. It's too much drama & exhaustion. Time to step off and reset before jumping back in full force. They have a tactic. They keep you in their contact and will ramdonly contact you till you end up single. I stopped counting how many of them contacted me since I met bf, sometimes 1 YEAR after a date. Last week I got a text from someone I met 2 years ago!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 They have a tactic. They keep you in their contact and will ramdonly contact you till you end up single. I stopped counting how many of them contacted me since I met bf, sometimes 1 YEAR after a date. Last week I got a text from someone I met 2 years ago!! Yes! Exactly what you describe! How did you deal with them when single and NOT interested in dating them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 eHarmony works here, but it is slow and men are ...weird. I met my religious ex there and not sure I'm willing to go back there. A lot of traffic apps IMO come with a plethora of negatives (dudes just testing their luck putting zero effort - just copy pasting the same dumb message to everyone stating 'female' in their profile). A lot of people here 'with problems' did indeed meet their boyfriend on Tinder. I can't remember someone on here with a solid relationship out of Tinder. Same Dating apps are different depending where you are from. Where I am eHarmony is useless. I was on it 1 month and never even got to speak with someone they were all from the US (I'm in Canada). Here there is very little traffic on okcupid but badoo is buzzing. I heard in the US Badoo is considered a trash dating place but here it's one of the few decent place to meet someone. That's where I met my bf, and the one before. Tinder seems to be a hook-up place no matter where you are in the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Yes! Exactly what you describe! How did you deal with them when single and NOT interested in dating them? I have always been very forward when I was not interested. I'd tell them clearly it had been nice meeting them but I did not wish to pursue. If they contacted me I would not reply, they would still give it a try once in a while. Now 2 years later I have deleted them from my phone so when they text or call I can't tell it's them. I remember last year bf and I were in home-depot when I get an unknown call. I answer and it's one of those men that can't take no for an answer and keep trying and trying. When I hear his voice I go very loud: do not call me again!! next time my bf will deal with you (lol). He never called again. Funny thing - right after I yelled that outloud and hung up my bf remained silent and NEVER asked what this was about lol. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 But how about coworkers, neighbors and other people that you may have to see on regular basis? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 But how about coworkers, neighbors and other people that you may have to see on regular basis? Thinking hard....no orbiters in my immediate surroundings. That must be hard to handle. I would probably handle it the same way. Now it's easy to get rid of them because I have a boyfriend. When I was single it was much harder to get rid of them. The worse thing to do is to entertain them when you're bored. It keeps them hangning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Thinking hard....no orbiters in my immediate surroundings. That must be hard to handle. I would probably handle it the same way. Now it's easy to get rid of them because I have a boyfriend. When I was single it was much harder to get rid of them. The worse thing to do is to entertain them when you're bored. It keeps them hangning. Yeah with a BF is easy... I almost want to 'hire' a fake BF sometimes so I don't need to deal with orbiters and people that poke into my personal business. God ever since I bought my house people got REALLLY intrusive - like 'you guys, where is your husband/bf' and if I say I'm single - disrespectful behavior begins right there. I never flirt but I usually lead conversations because I want to be polite, and yeah, sometimes out of being bored. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Yeah with a BF is easy... I almost want to 'hire' a fake BF sometimes so I don't need to deal with orbiters and people that poke into my personal business. God ever since I bought my house people got REALLLY intrusive - like 'you guys, where is your husband/bf' and if I say I'm single - disrespectful behavior begins right there. I never flirt but I usually lead conversations because I want to be polite, and yeah, sometimes out of being bored. I have done that once :-) The parking guy at my office was giving me a real hard time, following me in the underground parking, telling me he loved me, he wanted to take care of me, etc etc. After a year of this it needed to stop so I asked a good friend to come to the office with his car, to the parking lot and pretend to be my boyfriend. On that day I called the parking guy from my office. I said my boyfriend was coming to see me and I wanted to reserve a spot for him. Now...I picked that particular friend for a reason, he's a huge Jamaican man lol with arms as big as my waist. Everything was smooth after that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Awesome :lmao: Hope it's ok to steal your strategy. I have done that once :-) The parking guy at my office was giving me a real hard time, following me in the underground parking, telling me he loved me, he wanted to take care of me, etc etc. After a year of this it needed to stop so I asked a good friend to come to the office with his car, to the parking lot and pretend to be my boyfriend. On that day I called the parking guy from my office. I said my boyfriend was coming to see me and I wanted to reserve a spot for him. Now...I picked that particular friend for a reason, he's a huge Jamaican man lol with arms as big as my waist. Everything was smooth after that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I'm talking to a new guy. Attractive, my type, really nice, great career But he seems a tiny over eager and a little lacking in confidence Like, he sais he was really hope I'd text him but wasn't sure if I would. He also said he has to go to bed early and knows that sounds lame.... Wtf? I'm getting turned off but he hasnt done anything wrong...I'm annoyed with myself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I'm talking to a new guy. Attractive, my type, really nice, great career But he seems a tiny over eager and a little lacking in confidence Like, he sais he was really hope I'd text him but wasn't sure if I would. He also said he has to go to bed early and knows that sounds lame.... Wtf? I'm getting turned off but he hasnt done anything wrong...I'm annoyed with myself Go with this one! Sounds good to my, just gut feeling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Go with this one! Sounds good to my, just gut feeling Ya? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Don't think so. He's already turning you off 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Don't think so. He's already turning you off Eh, I think I was just in a mood. Very moody lately...almost that time Plus, I was getting preoccupied with the orbiter who got to me a little tonight. Its such a waste to spend any energy on him even as a friend. He's not even acquaintance material 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 He doesn't seem like acquaintance material And I understand. But just be sure you're not trying to like a guy just because you want to find someone badly. It's easy to get in that mode idk 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 He doesn't seem like acquaintance material And I understand. But just be sure you're not trying to like a guy just because you want to find someone badly. It's easy to get in that mode idk I won't know until I meet him (which I'm going to allude to tomorrow) I'm trying to stop romanticizing the guys I date and the dating process in general. But yup, I've done the rationalization thing a million times! I just want to meet, see if I like them and take it from there Its exhausting planning the wedding before the first date for each guy I date 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Is it just me, or does OLD suck in the summer? I live in New England, the winters here are usually awful so when the warmer months come around, everyone is on vaca or at the beach. And maybe not so concerned about OLD??? Are summer romances really a thing? If they are, maybe thats adding to the issue. Everyone is currently tied up So glad fall is approaching Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 It's pretty fast over here in Indy. Okcupid is always a lot slower than POF. It ebbs and flows wherever you're at, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 It's pretty fast over here in Indy. Okcupid is always a lot slower than POF. It ebbs and flows wherever you're at, though. I've found okcupid to move at a much slower pace than pof too I'm on both though I'm getting the same amount of messages I always do but for some reason, its all quanity not quality Either I'm not attracted or the guy lives too far, just wants something casual, is "self employed" aka unemployed etc etc Jeez, I've never had such a tough time with OLD before, especially just a week in I'm telling you, all the intelligent, employed, cute guys are at the beach Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I have found that Bumble has better quality guys that are more relationship oriented. There is much less guys and much lower number of matches but less of a sleaze fest that Tinder is. Great idea ES! Thanks! I'm creating an account tomorrow! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 (edited) lol @ self employed = unemployed. That's probably true most of the time. How do you know they just want casual? That never even comes up when I first talk to guys on there. Maybe I should be bringing it up? Bumble means you have to message them firsttt. I thought you wouldn't like that since you seem to like the more traditional male pursuer dynamic. Bumble is higher quality, though, for sure. Oh and theres coffee meets bagel too Edited September 2, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 lol @ self employed = unemployed. That's probably true most of the time. How do you know they just want casual? That never even comes up when I first talk to guys on there. Maybe I should be bringing it up? Bumble means you have to message them firsttt. I thought you wouldn't like that since you seem to like the more traditional male pursuer dynamic. Bumble is higher quality, though, for sure. Oh and theres coffee meets bagel too They can still pursue you after your first message 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 I just made a coffee meets bagel profile Its kind of a confusing app! How does it work? It seems different from pof and okcupid. Something about beans??? Things kind of fizzled out with the last guy I mentioned. Granted, I havent put in much effort..but I'm not super interested so... its for the best I'm so disappointed in pof. Cant even BELIEVE how bad it is. Okcupid isnt delivering either Theres usually at least one guy that I'm talking to who I would go be interested on going on a date with. What a drought right now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 So with coffee meets bagel it seems like you have to use 'beans' to chose someone you like (you only have so many 'beans') and only if that person choses you too...then you can start talking??? My gosh....thats kinda a load of s**t Seems like a ton of work to talk to someone I might not even like 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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