Any Multidating Tips???

[No_Go]

Very level headed opinion. I agree.

 

He's only been on OLD for about 6 days so I dont know that he's gotten to the point where he'd resort to googling Corey Wayne just yet

 

This is just very different from what I'm used to and different always freaks me out

 

And if by some chance got into a relationship with each other, I wouldnt be happy with such sporadic communication. But thats just me putting the cart before the horse

 

He maybe on this site from 6 days but god knows how many other sites he uses or has used in the past. Or have you discussed that? Even if so, some people (including me ) strategize before posting their profile. He may have watched coach Wayne and who knows who else

 

Btw I found one coach that I actually like: Susan Winter. Her videos are pretty on point IMO. She suggests when in doubt how to respond - just imagine the person is your friend and respond that way.

 

For this guy: maybe on the date mention that you like keeping in touch between dates and see how he acts. If he does take this into consideration - he's winning points;)

[Shining One]

In the very early stages of dating, is it normal for a guy (32 years old) only text to set up plans??? Or does it mean he's not making an effort/not that interested/etc etc???

I was exactly this age and way when last going through the early dating stages, with the exception of my now girlfriend. I would communicate to set up the next date and again shortly before the date. If the date was scheduled a week or more in advance, I'd reach out at some point in between. Of course, I was responsive in those cases in which the woman reached out too.

 

For me, it's not about game playing. I'm simply not invested yet and I'm not going to get invested until I'm sure interest is mutual. In my younger days, I would communicate a lot more with women, get more invested, and then get very disappointed when she gave me the "let's be friends" line or something similar. Once we're a few dates in and things have progressed a bit, I would reach out more.

[olivetree]

Very level headed opinion. I agree.

 

He's only been on OLD for about 6 days so I dont know that he's gotten to the point where he'd resort to googling Corey Wayne just yet

 

This is just very different from what I'm used to and different always freaks me out

 

And if by some chance got into a relationship with each other, I wouldnt be happy with such sporadic communication. But thats just me putting the cart before the horse

 

Give him the benefit of the doubt and see how things progress.

This isn't a red flag this early on.

[Mkn1010]

I was exactly this age and way when last going through the early dating stages, with the exception of my now girlfriend. I would communicate to set up the next date and again shortly before the date. If the date was scheduled a week or more in advance, I'd reach out at some point in between. Of course, I was responsive in those cases in which the woman reached out too.

 

For me, it's not about game playing. I'm simply not invested yet and I'm not going to get invested until I'm sure interest is mutual. In my younger days, I would communicate a lot more with women, get more invested, and then get very disappointed when she gave me the "let's be friends" line or something similar. Once we're a few dates in and things have progressed a bit, I would reach out more.

 

 

Exactly this! A healthy person doesn't get invested with strangers by way of text messaging. You build the relationship IRL FIRST!!

 

 

I did quite a bit of online dating in my day (lol) and all the dudes would do the whole texting frequently thing which I thought I liked at the time, but guess what...they all turned out to show their colors as unhealthy partner potential.

 

 

So in your case, yes, different here COULD mean a healthier match for you, other than what you experienced in your STL.

 

 

Funnily, the man I'm presently dating is the only one in bloody ages to make it to date 4 and he is just like your guy in only texting to schedule dates. And the reason he has made it this far is because he is the ONLY man in a long time to display no red flags, weirdo behavior, inconsistencies etc etc

.... just my opinion!

 

 

Also, it's really early days and the only way you're going to find out any VALUABLE information about this dude is by spending time with him in person. So do that

[Dis]

Just a thought about multidating and men...

 

This new guy, when we walked out of the resteraunt he got super nervous, was stumbling over his words and gave me a side hug

 

Had he not texted me that night and then the following morning to set up a second date, I would think I got the side hug because he was rejecting me

 

So my point is, I just dont think this guy has the skill/player gene/smoothness to multidate

 

IMO, unless a guy on OLD is insanely hot or is a player by nature, a ton of OLD experience, or is super confident (as in, doesnt give side hugs to girls he likes) he's probably not multidating. Men dont have the options us females do.

 

But thats just my opinion. Could be wrong and if I am I dont mind. I'm kind of liking the mystery, the not knowing.... I NEVER thought I'd say that.

 

I'm looking for a new date this weekend

[No_Go]

Side hug - I can tell you precisely what it means Hiding (or trying to avoid) erection. I bet money on this - I got this 'knowledge' from my ex when we first started breaking up (our break up was extensive, painful, but sexually pretty decent... after few weeks of side hugs).

 

Not that it matters but men do multi-date as well - I think it is not about hotness, it is about motivation: mass sending first messages can get nearly anyone dates (well, first dates to be precise).

 

Some mystery is good! Look forward to hearing how it goes!

 

Just a thought about multidating and men...

 

This new guy, when we walked out of the resteraunt he got super nervous, was stumbling over his words and gave me a side hug

 

Had he not texted me that night and then the following morning to set up a second date, I would think I got the side hug because he was rejecting me

 

So my point is, I just dont think this guy has the skill/player gene/smoothness to multidate

 

IMO, unless a guy on OLD is insanely hot or is a player by nature, a ton of OLD experience, or is super confident (as in, doesnt give side hugs to girls he likes) he's probably not multidating. Men dont have the options us females do.

 

But thats just my opinion. Could be wrong and if I am I dont mind. I'm kind of liking the mystery, the not knowing.... I NEVER thought I'd say that.

 

I'm looking for a new date this weekend

[Dis]

Exactly this! A healthy person doesn't get invested with strangers by way of text messaging. You build the relationship IRL FIRST!!

 

 

I did quite a bit of online dating in my day (lol) and all the dudes would do the whole texting frequently thing which I thought I liked at the time, but guess what...they all turned out to show their colors as unhealthy partner potential.

 

 

So in your case, yes, different here COULD mean a healthier match for you, other than what you experienced in your STL.

 

 

Funnily, the man I'm presently dating is the only one in bloody ages to make it to date 4 and he is just like your guy in only texting to schedule dates. And the reason he has made it this far is because he is the ONLY man in a long time to display no red flags, weirdo behavior, inconsistencies etc etc

.... just my opinion!

 

 

Also, it's really early days and the only way you're going to find out any VALUABLE information about this dude is by spending time with him in person. So do that

 

I love your insight girl

 

Couldnt agree more... Seriously

 

Its only been one date with this guy but it feels nice to FINALLY meet a guy who isnt displaying any red flags either. I've had so many threads, debating whether or not to date a guy because the red flags were waving at every corner. This guy hasnt even waved a yellow flag. Finally!

 

And yes, considering my awful luck, different is probably a good thing

 

Love your insight. You're spot on

[Dis]

Side hug - I can tell you precisely what it means Hiding (or trying to avoid) erection. I bet money on this - I got this 'knowledge' from my ex when we first started breaking up (our break up was extensive, painful, but sexually pretty decent... after few weeks of side hugs).

 

Not that it matters but men do multi-date as well - I think it is not about hotness, it is about motivation: mass sending first messages can get nearly anyone dates (well, first dates to be precise).

 

Some mystery is good! Look forward to hearing how it goes!

 

I'll blame the bold on my crop top :laugh:

 

Ya, he could be multidating but I'm feeling really relaxed about this. Finally I'm getting a feeling that I should proceed with a guy. Havent felt that way in a long time

[No_Go]

I'm personally a firm believer that in social situations trusting the gut feelings does makes perfect sense, especially if you're intuitive type - so from what you described (feeling relaxed, wanting to proceed) - all VERY good signs!! Look forward to seeing updates after date 2

 

I'll blame the bold on my crop top :laugh:

 

Ya, he could be multidating but I'm feeling really relaxed about this. Finally I'm getting a feeling that I should proceed with a guy. Havent felt that way in a long time

[joseb]

IME this style of communication is adopted by guys that like to date by the book - dating coaches etc give that advice and many guys follow so they don't appear overeager. For me personally this is a turn off (as any other game playing), but all in all, I don't think it says much about the guy besides the above.

 

So for some maybe they use this as "game playing" but for me I'd call it acting normally with someone you have just met.

 

I think it's far more appropriate to call texting incessantly to some virtual stranger you just met in the hope of building up a false closeness game playing.

 

What exactly does he need to be texting you about when he didn't even know you a week ago?

[No_Go]

I personally build much better rapport in written communication than in person. I understand most people are not open to this concept, just sharing my experiences/viewpoint.

 

Texting can be about anything that you'd share in person. I hate meaningless texts 'thinking about you', 'good morning sweetie' and all this s**t. I usually just share something that have impressed me during the day. If they do the same - it gives me info about their interests, communication style, how they emote etc.

 

So for some maybe they use this as "game playing" but for me I'd call it acting normally with someone you have just met.

 

I think it's far more appropriate to call texting incessantly to some virtual stranger you just met in the hope of building up a false closeness game playing.

 

What exactly does he need to be texting you about when he didn't even know you a week ago?

[Dis]

So for some maybe they use this as "game playing" but for me I'd call it acting normally with someone you have just met.

 

I think it's far more appropriate to call texting incessantly to some virtual stranger you just met in the hope of building up a false closeness game playing.

 

What exactly does he need to be texting you about when he didn't even know you a week ago?

 

I agree joseb

 

Like I said, this is just very different from the incessant texting I'm used to when I first start dating a guy....and that never worked out in the end so I'm happy to try something different

 

I did text him today to say hi. He was engaging and asked me some questions. I actually didnt want to text a lot so the exchange was short and sweet

 

I'm actually liking this a bit

 

How the tides have turned

[joseb]

I personally build much better rapport in written communication than in person. I understand most people are not open to this concept, just sharing my experiences/viewpoint.

 

Texting can be about anything that you'd share in person. I hate meaningless texts 'thinking about you', 'good morning sweetie' and all this s**t. I usually just share something that have impressed me during the day. If they do the same - it gives me info about their interests, communication style, how they emote etc.

 

Yeah those are the worst!

 

I agree texting can be good to build up a rapport, but I wont be doing it with someone I had one meeting with. Well, not unless they are super hot and I'm bored and horny and just want to bang her....

[Dis]

I've noticed from the majority of men I talk to and date dont OLD read my profile

 

I'm a student nurse and I clearly stated that in my reasonably sized bio

 

Yet I get all these messages where guy think I'm already a nurse and asks what field I'm in and what shift I work, etc etc. I think the guy I last date thought I was already a nurse until the topic came up.

 

Dude! Really?

 

I get so annoyed with that so I say, I'm still in nursing school and mentioned that in my profile

 

If I'm considering dating a guy or even having a convo with him, I always read his entire profile

[No_Go]

Yeah those are the worst!

 

I agree texting can be good to build up a rapport, but I wont be doing it with someone I had one meeting with. Well, not unless they are super hot and I'm bored and horny and just want to bang her....

 

Haha someone just friendzoned me after coming super strong with texts and e-mails after 1st (2nd, 3rd) date so... the bang hypothesis failed (and I was willing to )

[No_Go]

Girl I hate this! When I was a postdoc the guy that I dated briefly always called me 'PhD student' although it was written in my profile and we have discussed it in detail.... That's why I stop dating him

 

Actually it is a good way to screen who really cares to read your profile and who is just mass-messaging hoping to get laid...

 

I've noticed from the majority of men I talk to and date dont OLD read my profile

 

I'm a student nurse and I clearly stated that in my reasonably sized bio

 

Yet I get all these messages where guy think I'm already a nurse and asks what field I'm in and what shift I work, etc etc. I think the guy I last date thought I was already a nurse until the topic came up.

 

Dude! Really?

 

I get so annoyed with that so I say, I'm still in nursing school and mentioned that in my profile

 

If I'm considering dating a guy or even having a convo with him, I always read his entire profile

[Dis]

Girl I hate this! When I was a postdoc the guy that I dated briefly always called me 'PhD student' although it was written in my profile and we have discussed it in detail.... That's why I stop dating him

 

Actually it is a good way to screen who really cares to read your profile and who is just mass-messaging hoping to get laid...

 

Very true!!!

 

Omg he couldnt figure it out after you talked about it??? Lmao What a winner!

 

I just realized that I said I graduate in April so I think some of them might think I graduated this past April. Plus my username has the word 'nurse' in it so.... I mightve jumped the gun by being annoyed

 

OLD has a way of making me moody

[No_Go]

Eh forgive them then before talking to them in person... If they forget afterwards - red flag.

 

My confused date was a very self-absorbed medical doctor, apparently he was mainly concerned with himself As many daters of course. This + dating many people in the same time leads to confusions:D

[Dis]

Omg I'm cracking up!!!

 

Ok so this guy I started talking to was scheduling a date with me today. I had viewed his profile but I started feeling turned off (for no reason whatsoever) so I had a hunch I should check it again

 

Omg

 

He updated it...

 

"I once saved a toddler from choking to death by using the Heimlich procedure. One back blow and that Cheez-It rocketed out of her mouth! You have to hold the baby upside down braced against your thigh to do this. Look it up!"

 

 

*Average body type* "I'm so strong that when I go to the gym, I left up all the weights at once while everyone crowds around cheering me on."

 

"When I first learned to talk I was sitting on my father's lap while he was reading the newspaper stock reports. I kept saying, 'Apple! Apple!' while flailing at the page with my chubby arms. My dad bought a bunch of Apple stock and now he is a millionare."

 

WTF??????

[No_Go]

See - your intuition saved you from absolute weirdo :lmao: Those types appear entertaining but they are d*mn dangerous - my con artist ex was coming up with sh*t like this early on...

 

Omg I'm cracking up!!!

 

Ok so this guy I started talking to was scheduling a date with me today. I had viewed his profile but I started feeling turned off (for no reason whatsoever) so I had a hunch I should check it again

 

Omg

 

He updated it...

 

"I once saved a toddler from choking to death by using the Heimlich procedure. One back blow and that Cheez-It rocketed out of her mouth! You have to hold the baby upside down braced against your thigh to do this. Look it up!"

 

 

*Average body type* "I'm so strong that when I go to the gym, I left up all the weights at once while everyone crowds around cheering me on."

 

"When I first learned to talk I was sitting on my father's lap while he was reading the newspaper stock reports. I kept saying, 'Apple! Apple!' while flailing at the page with my chubby arms. My dad bought a bunch of Apple stock and now he is a millionare."

 

WTF??????

[Mkn1010]

He sounds hilarious! Clearly taking the p*ss out of how everyone talks themselves up via OLD! He would totally be my type

[Dis]

He sounds hilarious! Clearly taking the p*ss out of how everyone talks themselves up via OLD! He would totally be my type

 

Hahaha!

 

I dont think he's being witty about it though

 

I think he's just... strange

 

This isnt the guy I have a second date with btw. I texted that guy to say hi and he was engaging and asked me questions. I dont like to text for too long or too often so it was just nice to know that when we do text, its not like talking to a brick wall I think you were right about the texting stuff and how different is a good thing seeing as the same old thing hasnt been working for me. That was awesome advice girl!

[joseb]

Omg I'm cracking up!!!

 

Ok so this guy I started talking to was scheduling a date with me today. I had viewed his profile but I started feeling turned off (for no reason whatsoever) so I had a hunch I should check it again

 

Omg

 

He updated it...

 

"I once saved a toddler from choking to death by using the Heimlich procedure. One back blow and that Cheez-It rocketed out of her mouth! You have to hold the baby upside down braced against your thigh to do this. Look it up!"

 

 

*Average body type* "I'm so strong that when I go to the gym, I left up all the weights at once while everyone crowds around cheering me on."

 

"When I first learned to talk I was sitting on my father's lap while he was reading the newspaper stock reports. I kept saying, 'Apple! Apple!' while flailing at the page with my chubby arms. My dad bought a bunch of Apple stock and now he is a millionare."

 

WTF??????

 

Pretty obvious he is taking the piss and poking fun at all the bragging profiles on OLD.

 

I like it.

[joseb]

 

I'm a student nurse and I clearly stated that in my reasonably sized bio

 

 

Two things. One, guys probably have to skim a 100 and send messages to all before they get a reply. Can you blame them if the get the details wrong sonetimes?

 

Two, you assume everyone is familiar with what being a student nurse entails. It's reasonable to think that they might have schedules, similar to student doctors.

[Dis]

Two things. One, guys probably have to skim a 100 and send messages to all before they get a reply. Can you blame them if the get the details wrong sonetimes?

 

Two, you assume everyone is familiar with what being a student nurse entails. It's reasonable to think that they might have schedules, similar to student doctors.

 

Ya you're totally right

 

OLD makes me moody sometimes but I really shouldnt be that way. Most of the time, guys have it much more tough than us women do

 

And ya, a lot of people have no idea what goes into nursing school. I can't blame them because its an absolutely insane process

 

Thanks joseb