Any Multidating Tips???

[Cookiesandough]

The idea isn't to keep multi-dating perpetually. Assuming your goal is a relationship, multi-dating is just the process for evaluating multiple prospects simultaneously. You eventually get down to just one person. In my experience, it worked something like this: 20 First Dates -> 7 Second Dates -> 3 Third Dates -> 2 Fourth Dates -> 1 Fifth Date

 

Are you kissing or having sex with these people?

[Shining One]

Are you kissing or having sex with these people?

Yes, but sex usually sparked a "where do we see this going conversation". In most cases, there was little relationship potential, so it ended after sex.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I honestly don't know if multi dating is the answer. More people than ever are single and I wonder if it's something to do with people now having too many choices for too many different types of relationships with too many people... If you multi date... they are also going to multi date, and the chances of any of you pairing off are slim to none in my opinion... that's why online dating is so frustrating. No one knows how to focus on just one, anymore.

 

I can only focus on one person at a time... have always been that way. I think the best bet for me is to find someone like minded... not to multi date. But if you want to try it, best of luck to you.

 

 

More people are single than ever because women now don't have to rely on men for financial support or even to have children. You can blame the social media, the OLD but the fact is, our society is evolving...

[Mkn1010]

How did your date go Dis?

Edited September 17, 2017 by Mkn1010

[Shanex]

More people are single than ever because women now don't have to rely on men for financial support or even to have children. You can blame the social media, the OLD but the fact is, our society is evolving...

 

... and has been for a number of years way before the advent of internet and online dating.

 

Pretty much since the raise of feminism and the sexual revolution of the 60s, too.

 

Women don't need to rely on men ? fine and vice versa : there's a trend these days about ''Men going their own way''. I'm not one of them. I want companionship, a partner, a lover. Marriage and children, though, probably never.

 

But back to Dis373: How have been the latest dates? Some interesting fishes in the pond?

[Eternal Sunshine]

... and has been for a number of years way before the advent of internet and online dating.

 

Pretty much since the raise of feminism and the sexual revolution of the 60s, too.

 

Women don't need to rely on men ? fine and vice versa : there's a trend these days about ''Men going their own way''. I'm not one of them. I want companionship, a partner, a lover. Marriage and children, though, probably never.

 

But back to Dis373: How have been the latest dates? Some interesting fishes in the pond?

 

Men benefit from marriage much more than women. Fact proven by research. But anyways...

 

I want an adventure partner. Marriage and children? No thanks

 

Sorry for the TJ Dis.

[Dis]

Second date went swimmingly well

 

He asked me to spend Halloween with him. He wants to go to this awesome town in New England thats a hot spot during the Halloween season. Its a very witchy, old town. Lots of cool little shops and old graveyards. I've been before and its awesome! Not sure if that would be a good time to tell him I'm actually a witch or leave that for later

 

He also asked me to join him in taking ballroom dancing classes. I already ordered some new shoes because if I'm going to do this, I want shoes like Penny had in dirty dancing

 

The next upcoming class is this Thursday

[No_Go]

Wow sounds great - get the shoes!

So 3rd date on Thursday?

For the rest, tell him while visiting the town - it will make for an awesome experience and you can show skills;)

 

Second date went swimmingly well

 

He asked me to spend Halloween with him. He wants to go to this awesome town in New England thats a hot spot during the Halloween season. Its a very witchy, old town. Lots of cool little shops and old graveyards. I've been before and its awesome! Not sure if that would be a good time to tell him I'm actually a witch or leave that for later

 

He also asked me to join him in taking ballroom dancing classes. I already ordered some new shoes because if I'm going to do this, I want shoes like Penny had in dirty dancing

 

The next upcoming class is this Thursday

[Dis]

Wow sounds great - get the shoes!

So 3rd date on Thursday?

For the rest, tell him while visiting the town - it will make for an awesome experience and you can show skills;)

 

Yup! Third date will be at a ballroom dancing class!

 

It would be super funny to come out of the broom closet on Halloween He's not religious, just spiritual. We were talking about metaphysics during the second date so... pretty sure he wouldnt get too freaked out

 

And yes! The shoes are on their way! Amazon Prime

[Mkn1010]

Second date went swimmingly well

 

He asked me to spend Halloween with him. He wants to go to this awesome town in New England thats a hot spot during the Halloween season. Its a very witchy, old town. Lots of cool little shops and old graveyards. I've been before and its awesome! Not sure if that would be a good time to tell him I'm actually a witch or leave that for later

 

He also asked me to join him in taking ballroom dancing classes. I already ordered some new shoes because if I'm going to do this, I want shoes like Penny had in dirty dancing

 

The next upcoming class is this Thursday

 

 

He sounds great See....not an incessant texting loser!! Haha

[Dis]

Thanks for the perspectives on the pros and cons of multidating guys! Its got me thinking a bit...

 

I have a date with another guy (guy #2) this Saturday and I'm kind of feeling bad about going because I had a talk with guy #1 about OLD and he said he's not putting much effort into it...just the way he was talking about it... how he was surprised I spoke like an adult because all the other women are grown up sorority girls and how he never wanted to do OLD hence why he signed up for ballroom dancing in hopes of meeting someone...and ended up inviting me to go with him

 

I dont know... just the way he spoke about OLD and then he wants to be with me on Halloween and do ballroom dancing with me...I dont think he's dating other people (of course I could be wrong) but that kind of makes me feel bad for going on this date with guy #2 on Saturday

 

At the same time though, people disappear all the time, things go south for no reason... I still dont want to put all my eggs in one basket but... I think he might be

[Dis]

For the rest, tell him while visiting the town - it will make for an awesome experience and you can show skills

 

Perfect timing for some skills! It'll be Samhain so... boom!

 

"You know, like nunchuck skills, bo hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only like guys who have great skills." Napoleon Dynamite

[No_Go]

I'd be super curious to see update Very cool small shops there if it is where I think you're going

 

Perfect timing for some skills! It'll be Samhain so... boom!

 

"You know, like nunchuck skills, bo hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only like guys who have great skills." Napoleon Dynamite

[No_Go]

I personally would have cancelled on guy 2. Would you be even able to focus on the date if you're thinking guy 1 all the time?

 

I tried going on 2 consecutive first dates (in this unfortunate summer ) and I have near no memory of the second guy because my mind was stuck on the first already.

 

But I'm curious what people that are more into multi-dating approach think.

 

 

Thanks for the perspectives on the pros and cons of multidating guys! Its got me thinking a bit...

 

I have a date with another guy (guy #2) this Saturday and I'm kind of feeling bad about going because I had a talk with guy #1 about OLD and he said he's not putting much effort into it...just the way he was talking about it... how he was surprised I spoke like an adult because all the other women are grown up sorority girls and how he never wanted to do OLD hence why he signed up for ballroom dancing in hopes of meeting someone...and ended up inviting me to go with him

 

I dont know... just the way he spoke about OLD and then he wants to be with me on Halloween and do ballroom dancing with me...I dont think he's dating other people (of course I could be wrong) but that kind of makes me feel bad for going on this date with guy #2 on Saturday

 

At the same time though, people disappear all the time, things go south for no reason... I still dont want to put all my eggs in one basket but... I think he might be

[Dis]

I personally would have cancelled on guy 2. Would you be even able to focus on the date if you're thinking guy 1 all the time?

 

I tried going on 2 consecutive first dates (in this unfortunate summer ) and I have near no memory of the second guy because my mind was stuck on the first already.

 

But I'm curious what people that are more into multi-dating approach think.

 

I'm inclined to agree with you, but what if it falls through or the other guy is better suited for me (slim chance)?

 

I feel like its too early to just focus on him. If this is anything like my typical OLD experiences... it wont go anywhere long term

 

But I feel bad because I dont think he's dating anyone else

[No_Go]

I'm inclined to agree with you, but what if it falls through or the other guy is better suited for me (slim chance)?

 

I feel like its too early to just focus on him. If this is anything like my typical OLD experiences... it wont go anywhere long term

 

But I feel bad because I dont think he's dating anyone else

 

Well there is always a chance this/other man is better suited but that is irrelevant, right, you'd not be screening and screening forever for best fit (because experience says fit depends on both parties+efforts )

 

Whether he's multi-dating or not: also irrelevant... Stick to your own morals, do what it feels right for you.

[Dis]

Any perspectives on whether or not I should date guy #2 at this point???

[Mkn1010]

My vote is for no! There is something lovely about dating just the one person and knowing that you don't have 'back-ups' waiting on the sidelines. It's more vulnerable and real....the way it should be

 

 

But overall, you should follow your heart and what your intuition tells you!!

[Dis]

My vote is for no! There is something lovely about dating just the one person and knowing that you don't have 'back-ups' waiting on the sidelines. It's more vulnerable and real....the way it should be

 

 

But overall, you should follow your heart and what your intuition tells you!!

 

I dont know what my intution is telling me...

[rushed]

Any perspectives on whether or not I should date guy #2 at this point???

 

Um. Yes! What if #2 turns out to be great and gorgeous and funny and fun? You'll never know if you don't go out with him.

[Cookiesandough]

Go out with guys until you like them enough that don't want to anymore. Not just cuz you feel guilty they might not be seeing others, you never know anyway!! I say go with guy 2 since you're even considering it you are not sold on guy 1?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I dont know what my intution is telling me...

 

If you aren't sure then you should consider keeping your options open for now.

 

I've read through this thread and I can't believe all the online dating horror stories you and others have been through. I'm amazed that you can still do it and not become completely jaded by the experience.

 

Anyway, my point is that through all the nonsense, you actually have two potentials here, and I wouldn't rule the other guy out just yet, not when online dating is this unpredictable.

 

If at some point Patrick Swayze wants to start dating exclusively then you can tell the other guy that you can't see him anymore, or visa versa, depending on which guy is a better match for you.

 

If it feels right, you'll know.

[Dis]

I say go with guy 2 since you're even considering it you are not sold on guy 1?

 

Its not that I'm not sold yet, its just that 2 dates isnt enough time to be convinced of much, you know?

[Dis]

If you aren't sure then you should consider keeping your options open for now.

 

I've read through this thread and I can't believe all the online dating horror stories you and others have been through. I'm amazed that you can still do it and not become completely jaded by the experience.

 

Anyway, my point is that through all the nonsense, you actually have two potentials here, and I wouldn't rule the other guy out just yet, not when online dating is this unpredictable.

 

If at some point Patrick Swayze wants to start dating exclusively then you can tell the other guy that you can't see him anymore, or visa versa, depending on which guy is a better match for you.

 

If it feels right, you'll know.

 

Wow, I just love ALL of this Scarlett! Thank you!

 

I saw a meme that talked about how much dating sucks but how awesome love is..so here we all are plugging along despite how awful things can get. I've been through some tough times in my life. My mom always tells me I'm meant to fight to get what I want, that things arent meant to come easy to me. The same is true for dating. I've overcome a lot of obstacles which were much more trying than dating, so I know I'll find the right guy eventually. Its just going to be a fight to get there

 

I will say though, throughout the past 2 years of all this nonsense, I really feel like I've come into my own. I'm much more confident, I know what I want and what I dont. I finally feel good about dating. No more stressing and freaking out over every little thing

 

I'm going to see guy #2 this weekend. Like you said, seeing how unpredictable OLD is, I cant put all my eggs in one basket yet.

 

I'm excited to see where this all goes

[Kellens]

I also vote for you to go out with guy#2. I don't think seeing 2 guys at the same time is a big deal. I couldn't date more than 1 if I was being physical with someone, but if you're just going out on dates and getting to know each other than why not? You never know what will happen with either one so I think it's good to keep your options open. Good luck!