Any Multidating Tips???

[planb1973]

That sounds like a painfully horrible day! Rest up, your new guy is just probably not wanting to seem to eager.

[Dis]

He ended up calling me when I texted him

 

We got to talking and he admitted that he doesnt text me too much because he doesnt want to smother me. So I said, have you dated a girl who said that to you? And he said yes.

 

So whoever suggested he was trying to play it cool, you were right.

 

I told him I'd actually like to hear from him more and I wouldnt view that as smothering. I was kind of relieved to hear he likes to talk more but was just feeling insecure about it. He's already texting more.

 

He then asked what I was doing on the 14th. I guess his mom is throwing his dad a birthday party and he wants me to come. I thought it was a little early so I asked him if he usually has the person he's dating meet his parents around this time. He said he doesnt date a lot but his parents have been asking about me. His mom, dad and sister are all registered nurses and I'm currently in nursing school. His family is czechoslovakian. They moved here when he was 4. He's very American, I just think he and his family have different ways of going about dating, which I'm fine with.

 

God was I neurotic last night I hope I dont lose my mind before I graduate in April. #nursingschoolproblems

Edited September 27, 2017 by Disillusionment373

[No_Go]

I was sure he's not texting much because he read this sort of dating advice . Sounds great though.

 

For family stuff I don't think it's cultural, it is the subculture of his own family (my midwestern ex invited me on a funeral of family member at 8 weeks, where I was introduced to everyone from parents to distant cousins). I would err for not meeting the family yet because it puts pressure on you (sadly knowing my ex's family made me stay with him way past the expiration date), but if you're not that type to feel pressured - go for it.

 

In any case sounds exciting!

[Dis]

I was sure he's not texting much because he read this sort of dating advice . Sounds great though.

 

For family stuff I don't think it's cultural, it is the subculture of his own family (my midwestern ex invited me on a funeral of family member at 8 weeks, where I was introduced to everyone from parents to distant cousins). I would err for not meeting the family yet because it puts pressure on you (sadly knowing my ex's family made me stay with him way past the expiration date), but if you're not that type to feel pressured - go for it.

 

In any case sounds exciting!

 

Ya he probably read some horrible dating advice online

 

If I want to break something off, I dont think of anyone's opinion but my own. Once I'm done, I'm done. So I'm not worried about being pressured by anyone to stick around when I dont want to

 

Subculture, good point. His parents seem pretty influenced by their homeland and he does a little but you're right... they have their own ways of doing things

 

I'm going to go

[No_Go]

Yeah, from what you said - no reason not to go. It will be a good way to gauge his behavior around close people (people show their real selves around family).

 

Culturally - I'll point you out differences as you move ahead with the RL. I'm pretty familiar with the Eastern European style and culture as I grew up there (Czech republic is different than where I'm from but there are commonalities).

 

Ya he probably read some horrible dating advice online

 

If I want to break something off, I dont think of anyone's opinion but my own. Once I'm done, I'm done. So I'm not worried about being pressured by anyone to stick around when I dont want to

 

Subculture, good point. His parents seem pretty influenced by their homeland and he does a little but you're right... they have their own ways of doing things

 

I'm going to go

[Cookiesandough]

Wow!!! he's telling fam about you and they are all nurses too that's so cute. It's like it was meant to be. This is such a cute story so far. Haha. That's so sad about what you experienced at work. Take it easy, dis. Sounds really stressful. I couldn't deal with that stuff!!! It takes a strong person.

[Dis]

Wow!!! he's telling fam about you and they are all nurses too that's so cute. It's like it was meant to be. This is such a cute story so far. Haha. That's so sad about what you experienced at work. Take it easy, dis. Sounds really stressful. I couldn't deal with that stuff!!! It takes a strong person.

 

Thanks Cookies. Thats really sweet of you to say. I appreicate it

[Kellens]

I'm so happy for you! I know this is still in the really early stages but I think this could be something good. It's so funny how easy it is when the guy is really into you and there aren't any games being played. My boyfriend kind of "smothered me" with attention in the beginning and I thought he was a weirdo at first, but then I realized he just genuinely liked me

I hope everything continues to go well, you deserve some happiness

[Dis]

5th date went super well!

 

He brought me a red rose, pizza and some wine

 

Last time he came over I made an effort to hide all my witchy stuff because I dont usually like to disclose all that too early. But I forgot to hide the pentagram next to my door so he saw it and brought it up. He was really cool about it, he has know people in the occult and he's open minded and spiritual himself. So when he brought me the red rose he said he went to an occult shop and looked for a pretty box or something for me but couldnt find anything so he just got the rose. He went to the same store I go to get my supplies. Not a lot there besides oils and candles. Its just cute he thought to do that.

 

This was the date where we really broke that barrier and got all lovey dovey, talked a lot. Fooled around a little. We got really comfy with each other. He asked if we could get together mid week so he's going to come by to my place so we can walk by the lake thats right near my house. He's so sweet. He seems really cool, calm and collected but the more we get to talking, the more I realize how much he's like me. He doesnt want to wonder when he's going to see me next, hence setting up another date before the current one ends. He's doesnt like the flakyness of dating, he wants something solid and lasting so the beginning stages of dating and all the uncertainty worry him. He's into me as much as I'm into him. He's all in. He said a lot of stuff that kind of melted me. It was the usual BS, it was really genuine thoughts he has about me that he chose to say outloud

 

We fooled around to the point where I was dying to have sex but I didnt take my pants off because I had my period. It should be over in about 5 days. I'm kind of nervous about taking that step though, after all the 'ghosting after sex' threads on here. I want to, but I'm scared. I dont know if its normal to feel that way?

 

Not sure if I want to take that leap or wait a little. I dont think I want to wait because I want to and guys are sexual creatures and need that connection. I'm just scared because this is going so well... I dont want to mess it up even though I dont think sex would. Everything feels good with him.

 

Not sure yet....

[No_Go]

Sounds lovely:) And cool he didn't get scared with your pentagrams

For sex, I think go for it if you want it, it is very unlikely it is going to affect negatively the relationship because he's already into you.

I'm personally a proponent of period sex big time (natural sponges ensure zero mess) but 5 days won't kill the deal anyway.

[Cookiesandough]

That's so sweet he thought of you to go look for a gift at an occult store!!! So he knows you practice Wicca? Dis, this seems like a really good thing going here. His interest level seems high!!! Don't read the threads on here when you're dating if you don't want to be paranoid af. I dunno if I'll ever sleep with a guy again. thanks, internet. No this seems like a really nice guy and you are vibing so well. so happy for you!!!

[Dis]

wasn't* the usual BS

 

I hate errors with those keywords

[Cookiesandough]

"It was the usual bs ... but coming from him it melted me"

Edited October 2, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Dis]

"It was the usual bs ... but coming from him it melted me"

 

Lmfaooo!!

 

I edited that!

 

I was supposed to say, WASN'T!

 

[Dis]

Sounds lovely:) And cool he didn't get scared with your pentagrams

For sex, I think go for it if you want it, it is very unlikely it is going to affect negatively the relationship because he's already into you.

I'm personally a proponent of period sex big time (natural sponges ensure zero mess) but 5 days won't kill the deal anyway.

 

That's so sweet he thought of you to go look for a gift at an occult store!!! So he knows you practice Wicca? Dis, this seems like a really good thing going here. His interest level seems high!!! Don't read the threads on here when you're dating if you don't want to be paranoid af. I dunno if I'll ever sleep with a guy again. thanks, internet. No this seems like a really nice guy and you are vibing so well. so happy for you!!!

 

Aww thanks my girls

 

I'm scared though. What if it changes things? I feel like the early stages of dating spin on an axil and anything can make it spin off course, ya know?

 

He knows I'm Wiccan and thinks its cool.... Just mind your Ps and Qs dude and you'll be fine jk

 

Everything is great though so I dont know why I'm so scared about this

 

Its def taking things to another level, is it not?

 

We practically already did it with our clothes on last night.. so might as well get to it???

[Dis]

Sex after the 5th date with exclusivity

 

Is it expected?

 

Does it change things?

 

With all the ghosting after sex threads on here... is it smart or not?

[Dis]

I think he really, really wants to

 

When we were foolong around and I told him I had my period. He asked how heavy it was. I told him it was heavy (white lie because I was nervous. Its pretty light)

 

He basically said he was fine with that but it was up to me

[oldbutcurious]

Haven; read all the contents of this thread but to dabble on non-exclusive dating...

 

You should first condition your mind that dating is just a simple way of getting to know a person - who might become one day business partner, work, friend, or whaetver social contact they may turn out into.

 

Dating is not only so you can end up as couple any time soon. Make it something as a discovery period of people who might become a part of your social circle.

 

That way, you do not get too, focussed. There was a time I was being frugal or had no money that I accepted dates to be able to taste the new pizza flavor offered by the house. Yes, that was kind of cheap, but I am sure the guy I am dating had his money's worth - I enjoy sharing information that could be useful for others, or making people laugh, or whatever, because most often than not, I am asked for a second or another date... But I do not always go on a second date, very rarely, unless that person would convince me friendship is fine with him.

[oldbutcurious]

Sex after the 5th date with exclusivity

 

Is it expected?

 

Does it change things?

 

With all the ghosting after sex threads on here... is it smart or not?

 

 

I do not recommend sex if you are not up to it. NEVER if you do not feel any connection at all.

[Mkn1010]

Do it when it feel right! I'm not a guy but I think if he was going to ghost you, it won't matter if you have sex on date 5, date 10 or date 50, he's gonna do what he's gonna do. It's always a risk, but your gut should tell you the answers you need as to whether it feels right and he cares for you!

[joseb]

Do you want to have sex with him?

If so, do it.

If not, don't (and if not, also don't grind on each other with your clothes on, nothing more frustrating, thats for 15 year olds)

[Dis]

Do you want to have sex with him?

If so, do it.

If not, don't (and if not, also don't grind on each other with your clothes on, nothing more frustrating, thats for 15 year olds)

 

I do want to

 

I can't help the dry humping

 

I think its fun

 

Maybe not so much for the guy when he wants it though

[Sweetfish]

I think he really, really wants to

 

When we were foolong around and I told him I had my period. He asked how heavy it was. I told him it was heavy (white lie because I was nervous. Its pretty light)

 

He basically said he was fine with that but it was up to me

 

The real question is are you sexually attracted or sexually frustrated. I put my odds on the fact that you are not sexually attracted to him.

[Dis]

The real question is are you sexually attracted or sexually frustrated. I put my odds on the fact that you are not sexually attracted to him.

 

Oh gawd I'm superrrr attracted to him! He's tall, broad shoulder, handsome face, has this sexy, edgy haircut where I can pull his hair a little, his arms are so big, he's so fyneeee

 

I'm also super sexually frustrated too

[joseb]

I do want to

 

I can't help the dry humping

 

I think its fun

 

Maybe not so much for the guy when he wants it though

 

What do you mean you can't help it? You are choosing to do it.

 

I'll give a woman a pass on it once, but if it happens twice I'll think she isn't really attracted to me, she is playing games or she has some sexual hangups. I'm not into it in any of these scenarios so I'd not see her again.

Edited October 2, 2017 by joseb