Any Multidating Tips???

[Dis]

WOW! I did not expect this at all with today's guy! What's wrong with people these days!

 

Good luck with new guy, watch out the the big talker who tell you exactly what you want to hear :-)

 

Thanks G! I know right?!

 

I've had my fair share of big talkers/future fakers/love bombers... I know what to look out for

 

This guy seems more morally driven, a little unexperienced and not at all hardened by the dating scene than he does a bullsh*tter. He said he's a little intimated by me and I dont doubt the sincerity in that statement. I think he's ok so far.

 

I'll keep you posted!

[Miss Spider]

Hope your date is going well,dis. I have a question. How many guys can you "juggle" when you're multi dating? I feel myself start to get overwhelmed when it gets over 5 guys just technically speaking(answering their messages, remembering things they've said etc) right now I am talking to 17 different guys(decided to be less discriminatory)I don't know if I can date that many at a time, because you wouldn't even have time to fit them into your schedule. And you would start mixing up their stories are forgetting what they told you or you have told them lol maybe it just takes practice or who cares?

Edited August 30, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Dis]

Oh god...

 

So the date got off to a bad start. I was walking through the parking lot to the restaurant, I look up and there's this guy in his car pulling into the parking lot staring at me. So much so, he almost hit 2 people walking in front of his car. As the car got closer I realized it was him and he...did not look so much like his pictures....

 

When I got close enough to him I knew I wasnt attracted but no biggie, we'll have a drink and chat

 

After the first 2 minutes of sitting down and talking I was like wow! This guy totally reminds me of George Costanza from Seinfeld (his hair was much thinner than his pics) and how long do I have to sit here and talk before its acceptable to leave???

 

He was bragging about this and that and for some reason was talking about the casinos in our state for I think 75% of the date. His personality was such a turn off I spent the entire date thinking of an excuse to leave early but wanted to stay for awhile as not to be rude

 

I asked for the check and was genuinely going to pay for my drink because I was clearly uninterested but he insisted on paying. He didnt get thye hint and ordered another beer. It had been an hour so I was dyinggggg to get out of there so I said I had to go. He walked me out to my car and gave me a hug then I swiftly took off

 

I really havent had that many dates where I felt an instinctual urge to run like h*ll, plus I have a much more realitstic view of OLD now so I'm not too disappointed

 

I'm just kind of chuckling about the whole thing because it was so bad its actually pretty funny

[No_Go]

Oh ! So my gut got it - he was playing the family man prompt date setter card because he's a little desperate (eh that's the strategy that not so good at dating men learn - at least gets them first dates)

 

Well, disappointing but it is just one date:) Better luck next time!

 

If anything you have a story for good laughs now

 

 

Oh god...

 

So the date got off to a bad start. I was walking through the parking lot to the restaurant, I look up and there's this guy in his car pulling into the parking lot staring at me. So much so, he almost hit 2 people walking in front of his car. As the car got closer I realized it was him and he...did not look so much like his pictures....

 

When I got close enough to him I knew I wasnt attracted but no biggie, we'll have a drink and chat

 

After the first 2 minutes of sitting down and talking I was like wow! This guy totally reminds me of George Costanza from Seinfeld (his hair was much thinner than his pics) and how long do I have to sit here and talk before its acceptable to leave???

 

He was bragging about this and that and for some reason was talking about the casinos in our state for I think 75% of the date. His personality was such a turn off I spent the entire date thinking of an excuse to leave early but wanted to stay for awhile as not to be rude

 

I asked for the check and was genuinely going to pay for my drink because I was clearly uninterested but he insisted on paying. He didnt get thye hint and ordered another beer. It had been an hour so I was dyinggggg to get out of there so I said I had to go. He walked me out to my car and gave me a hug then I swiftly took off

 

I really havent had that many dates where I felt an instinctual urge to run like h*ll, plus I have a much more realitstic view of OLD now so I'm not too disappointed

 

I'm just kind of chuckling about the whole thing because it was so bad its actually pretty funny

[Dis]

His personality was identical to George Costanza plsu the thinning hair. It was unreal

 

Texting is absolutely no indication of how a person is IRL which is why I always used to have a phone call before a date. If I had done that with this guy, theres no way date wouldve happened

 

Lesson learned, phone call before date!

[Dis]

Oh ! So my gut got it - he was playing the family man prompt date setter card because he's a little desperate (eh that's the strategy that not so good at dating men learn - at least gets them first dates)

 

Well, disappointing but it is just one date:) Better luck next time!

 

If anything you have a story for good laughs now

 

Lmao

 

No girl, he really wants a family and was talking about it a little on the date. I believe him on that.

 

I just have no idea how he's going to get there ... it was so bad

[Gaeta]

Sorry it didn't go as well as hoped but we all need one of those stupid stories in our repertoire

 

Have you heard from the other guy?

[Miss Spider]

Sorry to hear your date was a bust! Were kind of on the fence about him physically from his pics? Or did he just look drastically different? That sucks

[Dis]

Sorry to hear your date was a bust! Were kind of on the fence about him physically from his pics? Or did he just look drastically different? That sucks

 

Honestly, he didnt look as nearly good as his pics but if he had a decent personality, I think some attraction would have been there

[Dis]

Sorry it didn't go as well as hoped but we all need one of those stupid stories in our repertoire

 

Have you heard from the other guy?

 

Ya, he sent me a text saying,

 

"Thanks, its no problem I'll just have to bring it in, but pretty embarassing *embarassed emoji*. Have fun

 

That it. I didnt text back. So lame

[joseb]

Dis, you just need to look at these as first meets..grab a coffee or one drink, and see if you fancy them and you click. Then you can go on a "date" later.

Stop getting into too much stuff before you meet.

[Dis]

Dis, you just need to look at these as first meets..grab a coffee or one drink, and see if you fancy them and you click. Then you can go on a "date" later.

Stop getting into too much stuff before you meet.

 

Excellent point joseb!

 

Its hard for me to keep things into perspective because I want to so badly to find the right person but ya, I need to be more realistic for sure

 

I'll keep this in mind

[Miss Spider]

So...what now? Anyone new?

 

I decided I'm just gonna do coffee date with 10s of guys,, some of which I'm sort of 'meh' about , to see if one clicks in person. I think this is how multidating works. Because usually I get so 'invested' in one guy before we meet it's a real let down and I feel like I have to start over from scratch when there's no match

Edited August 31, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Dis]

So...what now? Anyone new?

 

I decided I'm just gonna do coffee date with 10s of guys,, some of which I'm sort of 'meh' about , to see if one clicks in person. I think this is how multidating works. Because usually I get so 'invested' in one guy before we meet it's a real let down and I feel like I have to start over from scratch when there's no match

 

OLD is awful right now so I'm entertaining an orbiter... but I dont know if its a good idea?

 

I met him on OLD 2 years ago. We went on one date, he got drunk and asked me to be his gf. Of course my silly, naive self thought that was super cute He retracted the offer the next day. Thats when I woke up and told him I cant take him seriously but we can hang out and have fun. He is super fun to hang out with. Although he did stand me up once...

 

Over the past 2 years he's always resurfaced. Kind of seemed to be improving himself little by little but I felt like it wasnt wise to get involved with him. I left him hanging a lot. I teased him to no end too. So, I'm not innocent in this at all. Maybe I was worse than him in some ways....I just always felt I needed to keep him at arms length. I just didnt trust him. He was always a partying type, arrogant, jumped from STR to STR. Slept with a lot of women. He never asked a lot about me which I never liked.

 

Now he's in therapy, drinks a lot less, working a lot (he's a corrections officer). He's 35 now. He told me the other day that I've always been a good woman and I have all the qualities he wants in a partner, that he wants to settle down and have that white picket fence. I truly believe that he wants those things, I just dont know he's able to make that happen.

 

We always have fun though, lots of chemistry, it feels like we've known each other for so long. Lots of sexual tension. I never slept with him. I have a fear if I did, that would be the end of that

 

We're very different from each other

 

I've grown a lot in 2 years. He knows he cant pull his tricks with me. He knows he needs to man up. I've made my needs in a relationship very clear.

 

He asked me out for Monday, so I'll see him then. I know there is some good there, I just dont know if there enough and if it would be sustainable. I'm already leary of dating, I dont know...

[Gaeta]

 

Now he's in therapy, drinks a lot less, working a lot (he's a corrections officer). He's 35 now. He told me the other day that I've always been a good woman and I have all the qualities he wants in a partner, that he wants to settle down and have that white picket fence. I truly believe that he wants those things, I just dont know he's able to make that happen.

 

We always have fun though, lots of chemistry, it feels like we've known each other for so long. Lots of sexual tension. I never slept with him. I have a fear if I did, that would be the end of that

 

We're very different from each other

 

I've grown a lot in 2 years. He knows he cant pull his tricks with me. He knows he needs to man up. I've made my needs in a relationship very clear.

 

He asked me out for Monday, so I'll see him then. I know there is some good there, I just dont know if there enough and if it would be sustainable. I'm already leary of dating, I dont know...

 

I don't think you should get involved with this man. He has a drinking problem and being in therapy isn't a good time to get in relatonships. This guy needs to get his act together BEFORE he starts serious dating. All this looks better but it's just a castle of cards that can fall down at the first blow.

 

You deserve better than this.

[Dis]

I don't think you should get involved with this man. He has a drinking problem and being in therapy isn't a good time to get in relatonships. This guy needs to get his act together BEFORE he starts serious dating. All this looks better but it's just a castle of cards that can fall down at the first blow.

 

You deserve better than this.

 

Thanks G

 

I agree with you and deep down I knew it wasnt a good idea... I always knew that

 

OLD is just so awful right now

[Miss Spider]

He does not sound appealing at all!!! And very risky. Agree with Gaeta. You can better.

 

OLD is either feast or famine it seems like

[Dis]

He does not sound appealing at all!!! And very risky. Agree with Gaeta. You can better.

 

OLD is either feast or famine it seems like

 

Thanks Cookies

 

Ya, totally agree on both counts!

 

#1- Its a no go with the orbiter...duh

 

#2- OLD comes in waves for sure. I'm getting plenty of messages but I'm either not attracted to the guy, or he doesnt meet my criteria. Its not often that theres no at least one guy I'm considering. Its famine time I guess. Then when its OLD feast time, I can only talk to a few guys at a time so some of them slip through the cracks

 

Smh

[Miss Spider]

Do you use Tinder? I would try different platforms for multi-dating

Edited September 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Dis]

Do you use Tinder? I would try different platforms for multi-dating

 

Oooo that might be a good idea

 

I've used tinder before and it was awful though. Plus most guys on tinder are just looking for hookups

 

I dont know why... I just feel like nothing good can stem from tinder

 

But maybe I'm wrong

[No_Go]

Well Tinder IS a hookup platform. IMO nothing good comes up from platforms where the profile information is not extensive...

 

 

Oooo that might be a good idea

 

I've used tinder before and it was awful though. Plus most guys on tinder are just looking for hookups

 

I dont know why... I just feel like nothing good can stem from tinder

 

But maybe I'm wrong

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have found that Bumble has better quality guys that are more relationship oriented. There is much less guys and much lower number of matches but less of a sleaze fest that Tinder is.

[Annalie]

For me, it was eHarmony that had the best quality matches. You have to pay for membership but I thought it was worth it and so much better than pof. Several guys I talked to had their phd and seemed genuinly nice.

[Miss Spider]

Oooo that might be a good idea

 

I've used tinder before and it was awful though. Plus most guys on tinder are just looking for hookups

 

I dont know why... I just feel like nothing good can stem from tinder

 

But maybe I'm wrong

 

Maybe you are right. I just use it as one way to meet people and see what they're about. There are sleazes, but at least they're more transparent than on other apps. I've read a lot of people here found their bf on tinder. I think a lot of times what people say want or are open to is based on how they feel about you

Edited September 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[No_Go]

Orbiters are having strange supernatural senses. They flare up immediately when I go through unpleasant dating situation without telling them a word.

 

One asked me to tell me a story. I asked where? 'In your house'. Yeah sure.

 

The other one insisted on giving me a ride so we can talk. But we just talked?

 

I don't know what shows them when I'm 'available'. I literally never share a word about my personal life.

 

Anyway, orbiters or OLD, I'm absolutely giving a break of dating, multi dating and all the madness. It's too much drama & exhaustion. Time to step off and reset before jumping back in full force.