Anxiety 2 years on

[DirtyBerty]

So to try and cut a long story very short, 2 years ago I was dumped after a 7 year relationship. It was the worst experience of my life and hardest thing I ever coped with. But I made it

 

I am happy now, happier than before. I'm with a new partner and things have gone really well for me.

 

However, since that moment I still have major anxiety. Not really a panic attack or anything like that, but any time I have an argument, or something happens with my girlfriend I begin to feel terrible. I panic and assume the worst. I always think she's going to leave me.

 

Today for example she was drunk and is going through a really tough time at work. We were in the middle of a phone conversation when she thought I was laughing at her. To be honest I wasn't. I was worried as I know she's depressed but she thought I was (probably because of the drink).

 

So the call went silent and now her phone is off. And I immediately panic that because she's depressed she's going to leave me, or kill herself. It's weird. It's like I assume the worst. The most likely thing is her phone ran out of battery (which happens a lot) and she was too drunk to realise I was worried and had just gone to sleep.

 

But essentially, why do I always assume the worst? Why can't I just relax and wait to see what happens. The break up 2 years ago seems to have given me anxiety like this and I was never really like this before.

 

Do any of you have similar issues? I think I really need help

[bummer]

Hey,

 

If you think you really need help. Go get help. Mental health is not an issue to just "man up" about and ignore. Go see a therapist and if you gain something, continue to work through these things.

 

If everything is great, why is your new GF drunk and miscommunicating? Why is she depressed? Is it great?

 

I know I am much more gun shy now about girls after a breakup a year ago, but make sure you are with someone who doesn't make you feel anxious. In this case, I am not sure it is all in your head. It may be partly due to your new GF's behaviour.

[amaysngrace]

I don't think she sounds good for your mental well-being if interacting with her causes panic in you to rise. Or maybe its you who needs to work on figuring out how to decompress from stressful situations rather than letting the panic fester.

 

Or maybe it's a combination of the two. You can't change her though, only yourself.

 

Have you ever gone to counseling to see if there are underlying issues that are triggering the anxiety to rise when you feel threatened of being abandoned?

 

I know meditation can help and so can deep breathing exercises to ward off full blown anxiety attacks but it may be worth exploring why you're suffering from high levels of anxiety in the first place and I believe that is best discovered through one-on-one counseling with a licensed psychotherapist.

 

Have you tried that?