Two years of terrible marriage, now I can breath.

[Resa86]

I was married for two years, after a short courtship of a little less than three months (I had just gotten saved, and didn't want to make any mistakes). There were some red flags as I think back, but did pay them much attention being that I was focusing on completing college and starting my career.

 

Only days, not even a week, I saw his true colors. I then noticed that he was very insecure, he had multiple run-ins with the law, he was a neglectful father, he couldn't hold a job (other than what shift I worked, so that he could be home when I was), he constantly made of theories and accused me of doing things that could realistically happen, he wreck two of our vehicles due to bieng, and the final straw was he shattered the rear glass of our lasted car due to being in an enraged state.

 

Because I am saved, I tried my best to save that terrible marriage, although I was severely unhappy. I didn't believe in divorce so I was willing to stick it out as long as I possible could. But feeling how I felt and putting up with those kinds behavior was more than I could bear, so after the shattering of my window, I had to end the relationship.

[preraph]

What a relief it must be! You tried your best. People have to want to change and have to have developed good ethics. Loving them won't change them. You can't love them into a better person once they're an adult. You certainly can when they're still children though, while their brains are forming.

 

Just take a breath and don't go headlong into another relationship until you at least live just with yourself for awhile. Work and build up your self-esteem and repair yourself from the damage. Do everything you can to take care of yourself and give yourself the things you hoped he would do for you. It's more rewarding when you give it to yourself, really. Gives you pride. If you find yourself with time on your hands, you can do what I do and take a small second job to keep money flowing or do some volunteer work maybe once a week that is very rewarding, Crime Watch or charities for elderly or kids or animals, or fun things like zoo volunteer. Make a point of getting together with supportive friends and just go have fun rather than spend the night rehashing the bad things in the marriage. Live again! You're very brave to have made this decision. Don't let him manipulate you back in. Good luck.