Best Age to have kids if your Male

[dichotomy]

I became a biological father at 42 I was already a step dad to pre teens.

 

I found I needed to get in better shape. I was in horrible condition at the time of my child's birth. I am grateful I put in the effort, as I am able at 52 now to still engage in swimming, bike rides, jumping around at playgrounds and stuff with my 9 year old. My wife has not been so focused on her condition, and is very very limited her physical activities.

 

Its not unusual to have a child at 40 ish for a man, and there are dads in my area who are my age, my bio child is very smart and perceptive and understands I am older than most other dads, and may not be around for as long. She has actually worried several times about when I might die cause she knows I am older.

 

I hope I am able to see my biochild get married and have her first child, but worry I wont be around long enough to develop a remembered connection with my bio grandchild especially if my child waits until 30 or 32 to have kids. While I remain active and workout, I have long standing modest health issues that may grow and come for me later in life.

 

Unless I was in amazing health - with a family history of long life and health - I would never have a child at 50 - just deprives the child of too much of me as the dad. We all need good dads, active in our lives, helping us for as long as possible. 42 was pushing it for me - but there were benefits as well like money, career stability, nice home, and more that I dont have to struggle with, which some younger men do.

Edited August 28, 2017 by dichotomy

[O'Malley]

You have to be realistic about the larger roles that health and genetics play in your forties and beyond. My father was a few months shy of 50 when I was born; my sister and I were his caretakers during our teenage years until his death when I was 17. I miss that he hasn't been a part of our adult lives. He also was a younger sibling, so all but one aunt is gone and our cousins are all significantly older than us and never developed close ties.

 

However, having had a great relationship with my Dad translated over the years into good friendships with men and women significantly older than me. Having an older parent made me not get paranoid about aging, fetishize youth or have a grandparent mentality towards 60+ people.

[knabe]

I had both of my kids before 30, but just barely. I would like to have had more, but that's a whole other story.

 

My parents were several years apart in age, so my dad was 39 when my younger brother was born. He was in great shape, so there was no issue.

 

When I was in my mid 40's I thought I might be pregnant. I was both mortified and weirdly hopeful. Turned out to be something else. I am out of the conception business now, thanks to the big C, but even If I weren't, if I found out tomorrow I was pregnant I'd admit myself into the loony bin lol

 

I'll wait for grandchildren at this point

[Steve51]

I am 66, married for 45 years and still trying to decide when the best time is. We had no kids. My wife and I are both sterile but I never pictured myself as a dad. My wife would have loved kids but in our time there were no artificial ways to do so and afterwards we were just too comfortable in our carefree lifestyle to want any.

 

Life has been great. All of the money parents spend on their kids, and it is considerable, was available to us for fun. We moved 13 times and are living in our 9th house. I have been to 20 countries and was able to get high paying jobs due to my ability to relocate at a moment's notice.

 

We never denied ourselves anything and without the stress that kids bring into a marriage, our marriage was great. We were even able to bring my wife's girlfriend into it. She was wife #2, not legally of course but my wife discovered her bisexuality, did not want to cheat on me and since her best friend is all bi and an old friend of mine too, we moved her in with us and she was part of our family for 30 years. We could not have done that with kids nor have naked pool parties and just take off for Vegas when it got too cold in NYC.

 

People tell us what we are missing but I tell them that you cannot miss what you never had. We had dogs and cats to love and be part of our family. They required less care and money. If you are dead set on increasing the population that is already growing too fast, then the best time to have a kid is when you are firmly established in your career and make enough money to support a new family without making sacrifices. Of you can do like what has brought many of us into the world, have an accident with a condom or other birth control.

[Mysterio]

I always think of the people born in the 1950's and younger have a more younger mentality and they take care of themselves better. To the point of going to the gym a dozen times a week.

 

I just think of todays 40 to 60 something as vibrant. Not ailing. Like baring health crisis/ Accidents. Most people will make to 87 or 97.

 

For me I really just have to be careful of who I am with in a intimate setting. I also have to really evaluate my situation when I am in a steady relationship.