Crazy Girl

[Brock]

I feel weird doing this since in all my dating this has never happened to me. I REALLY need advice(any advice) on what to do. To start out I will lay down the land for you, starting with myself. I am an 18 year old white male . My home life is very stable, my parents have never hit me, yelled at me, or ever negitively affected my life. They are not overly religious, but have raised me in the "old" way(that as a man I must protect women, never hit one, and not to play with one's feelings). I am a very quiet person around people I do not know but am very loud around my friends. I have many friends(I have never had an enemy or any problems since I mind my own bussiness and don't talk about people). People tell me I have a really good humor and in many cases I was the one in the lime light at many parties. I do drink, not a lot, and am very quiet drunk. I often throw parties that have around 100 people there am always hit on by "loose" women. I tend to head for relationships; since I had sex and regret it to this day. But the only girls I attract are only interested in sex.

 

Then I started a new job and meet Allison. At first I did not even pay a second glance to her,since I do put a lot of weight on looks. As a few weeks passed I decided to start dating her. She was very quiet even when we were alone and always had to be drinking, or smoking. This bothered me especially since she can out drink all my freinds(some that are twice her size). I stared acting very strange around her since she was the first girl I have cared about. Her looks are very average, she has a horrible attitude all the time, and she treated me horrible, but for some strange reason I could not stop thinking about her. Eventally she told me that she did not intend to ever do anything with me( I asked her that I cared about her but was going to move on if she did not make up her mind) I went out with another girl, and she started dating a guy at our work. Eventally we started calling each other and this lead to the end of my relationship and the end of hers. Again I started dating her and again she went into her game with me until I finally Quit work(I had ask her I we could have a relationship and again she said no). I then got advice from my freinds who always "play" women. I stopped calling her and let her call me, I started letting her pay on some ocasions(before I always paid, with no exceptions), I became more casual around her and made the dates more casual. I also did many little things such as buy roses for her, and even jewelry. She began to talk to me, she told me things that she had not even told her best freind of 6 years. She told of her parents divorce, their fights, their drinking problems. She lives with her grandparents, who like me;but she hated them and told me of their fights and their drinking problems. I listened only telling her that I cared about her and would help her any time. I had known her 9 months before she told me this. Since that time she has changed totally, she calls every day and goes out of her way to talk with me, she comes very close to me when before she would not even sit beside me.She talks and jokes more and more when before she would not say two words. I have held back not sure of what to do. Sometimes she just touches me or brushes up against me for no reason(the only thing is almost all this contact is violent, such as a punch, kick, or jumping on top of me). When I try to touch her any other way than when she is playing around she draws back very quickly or start to play fight me. This is where I need help she does not let people touch her, I have never seen her hug even her own mother, and she gets very defensive if you get to close. She recently told me that she hated her life and told me that people that I tought were her best freinds, were all people she never wanted to see again. She talked about getting out of this place and wanted me to go with her. Later she told me that she was just joking and that she was going to be fine. I don't know what to do, My freinds have told me she was crazy for the past year, but I can not move on. She is becoming more and more physical with me(even asking me to sleep in her bed with her when her grandparents were out of town:I did not because she had been drinking. The next morning she was mad at me). I for the life of me can not figure out how to move in as much as she is. I want to be with her but don't want her to think I just had wanted her for sex.Does this girl sound like a mental patient or is she slowly coming out? One more thing to add, Her grandfather recently told me that she had been very happy until 4 years ago, when suddenly she became the way she is today(she still is this way around other people). I'm sorry to write a book, I have never done anything like this before, but she means the world to me and I need help.

[Christie]

Well, I don't think the girl is crazy, but I do see some problems in her. She must have had a rough childhood, which I think includes some abuse (either physical or sexual,) and that has caused some low self-esteem on her part. The mind game she has been playing and the fact that she doesn't want physical contact with people all indicate that she doesn't feel comfortable with people and herself. I think she probably feels comfortable around you enough to be physical with you. This might confuse you because she was so distant before but I think it is a good sign in that sense. As for her bad behaviors and drinking problem, these are things that you won't be able to change until she herself is truly motivated to change. If she feels happy about herself, then she might be able to change, but that is a something that requires time and patience. If you truly care about her, even if things do not work out between you two, you can support her by being a real friend. I am saying this because it seems like you really care about her and it would really hurt her if you can't even be friends with her. The girl is a very lonely person. She just needs someone who she can trust and so far it seems like you have shown her that care. I think you should really sit down and tell her how you feel, like everything you have posted on this site. It won't hurt at all. Being honest is the best way to live your life especially when you care about someone. So TALK TO HER and make sure she knows that you care about her.

[John Israel]

Well, Brock I myself have been in simular situations with one of my girlfriends. At the time I didn't realize it but I wasn't going to understand much of what she was doing or acting out. She seemed to have a very strange way of pushing and pulling me to get what she needed from me. Like she needed something from me that was taken away from her by someone else. Now it seems she must have had a bad experience with someone and the only way to remedy the situation, if you truly care about her, is to have alot of patients and show her that you are capable to handle her little mind games or whatever they are, and also you may say that sometimes people can't solve all of their problems by themselves and need to seek professional or even spiritualty help and understanding and coming to terms with their problems. The main factor in the whole ordeal is to just have alot of patients and love for her becuase you may never fully understand what shes going through you can only hope to be there for her to give love and advice and maybe sometime she'll open more to you so you can get a better understanding of whats going on. I hope this helps you out, if you have any more questions you would like to ask just e-mail me at <e-mail address removed>. Well, I don't think the girl is crazy, but I do see some problems in her. She must have had a rough childhood, which I think includes some abuse (either physical or sexual,) and that has caused some low self-esteem on her part. The mind game she has been playing and the fact that she doesn't want physical contact with people all indicate that she doesn't feel comfortable with people and herself. I think she probably feels comfortable around you enough to be physical with you. This might confuse you because she was so distant before but I think it is a good sign in that sense. As for her bad behaviors and drinking problem, these are things that you won't be able to change until she herself is truly motivated to change. If she feels happy about herself, then she might be able to change, but that is a something that requires time and patience. If you truly care about her, even if things do not work out between you two, you can support her by being a real friend. I am saying this because it seems like you really care about her and it would really hurt her if you can't even be friends with her. The girl is a very lonely person. She just needs someone who she can trust and so far it seems like you have shown her that care. I think you should really sit down and tell her how you feel, like everything you have posted on this site. It won't hurt at all. Being honest is the best way to live your life especially when you care about someone. So TALK TO HER and make sure she knows that you care about her.