Hecan Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 My husband and I have some good friends that we hang out with occasionally. She does not use her cell phone and about 90% of the times doesn't even know where it is so I just have her husband's phone number and she says just text or call him and he will tell me. So, we were looking for someone to do some work for us and I told my husband that I'm going to text X and ask him. So we text throughout the day about this particular issue that we needed to resolve and my husband and I are working all day trying to get it done the brute force method. We go out that night for a really late dinner and have a drink and come home and climb into bed kissing, snuggling and talking and my cellphone beeps. My husband says " hmm wonder who that is so late" so I roll over and pick up my phone. It's from X and its a pic/ video. I click on it holding my phone up for Us to look at. I am super tired and the light is bothering my eyes so I can't tell what it is so I ask. He says Well it looks like somebody's "d .." Taken from their cell phone. WHAT?? We are tired now both thrown off from what we were doing and just go to sleep. Next morning I look at it again and sure enough that's what it is so I tell my husband he was right. He's like duh, I knew what it was. Then in typical H fashion he starts making all kinds of jokes and says maybe he needs to text him back. Ok, so I think he sent it to me by mistake, BUT unless his wife is out of town ( which I REALLY hope she is ) he wasn't sending it to her because she would not see it. So where to from here?? To make this more uncomfortable, we are about to be neighbors !!! Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 My husband and I have some good friends that we hang out with occasionally. She does not use her cell phone and about 90% of the times doesn't even know where it is so I just have her husband's phone number and she says just text or call him and he will tell me. So, we were looking for someone to do some work for us and I told my husband that I'm going to text X and ask him. So we text throughout the day about this particular issue that we needed to resolve and my husband and I are working all day trying to get it done the brute force method. We go out that night for a really late dinner and have a drink and come home and climb into bed kissing, snuggling and talking and my cellphone beeps. My husband says " hmm wonder who that is so late" so I roll over and pick up my phone. It's from X and its a pic/ video. I click on it holding my phone up for Us to look at. I am super tired and the light is bothering my eyes so I can't tell what it is so I ask. He says Well it looks like somebody's "d .." Taken from their cell phone. WHAT?? We are tired now both thrown off from what we were doing and just go to sleep. Next morning I look at it again and sure enough that's what it is so I tell my husband he was right. He's like duh, I knew what it was. Then in typical H fashion he starts making all kinds of jokes and says maybe he needs to text him back. Ok, so I think he sent it to me by mistake, BUT unless his wife is out of town ( which I REALLY hope she is ) he wasn't sending it to her because she would not see it. So where to from here?? To make this more uncomfortable, we are about to be neighbors !!! My first reaction is to have your H call him (or, so you have a record of it, text him identifying himself as your husband) and tell him that the photo came through the night before and he (your husband) is wanting an explanation for it. Unless he has a very convincing story and a sincere apology I'd stay away from him totally from now on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hecan Posted August 28, 2017 Author Share Posted August 28, 2017 That he would text him and say " its Y... What the heck are you doing? ". Just trying to handle is tge least disruptive way. I just wanted to ignore it but its bugging me. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Its inappropriate....calling X's husband to relay message to his wife is ridiculous...No way would any woman I am with would ever agree to do, even if I told her to do it..Couldn't you send her an email? Or she doesn't own a computer either?? Why didn't your husband just ask him? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 (edited) That he would text him and say " its Y... What the heck are you doing? ". Just trying to handle is tge least disruptive way. I just wanted to ignore it but its bugging me. No, he's the one who's been disruptive and unless it's a mistake he's counting on you ignoring it. That way he knows you're intimidated about facing issues and so he can cross more boundaries. He's bullying you (unless this is a sad mistake). It's up to you to decide if you are going to be bullied or not. Your husband needs to follow his initial response and don't try to intervene to keep the peace because there is no peace. He has sent you a pornographic image of himself. This is the law where I live: "Finally, an adult that shares nude or sexual photos of another adult without his or her permission or who sends unwanted sexts to another person could be charged with harassment or sued in civil court for causing emotional distress or other damage." This man has seriously messed up and you shouldn't ignore it. If you still have the image I wouldn't delete it. If it wasn't a mistake he may follow up with more harassment and you'll need to establish a timeline of harassment in the event you decide to take legal action at some point. Edited August 28, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I agree with living water. If this was a mistake I would expect an immediate OMG, sorry!!! Wrong person text. In my house? This would have been reciprocated with an immediate angry phone call. He needs to be put in his place. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 This guy got caught with his pants down...literally! Honestly, I would have sent a selfie of you and your hubby with frightened/shocked faces in response to that dick pic just so he got the message loud and clear. In fact, do it tonight. Then confront him. You can't sweep this one under the rug especially since he's married and most likely NOT sending his raging manhood to his wifey which just makes any further interactions with them all the more uncomfortable. I don't know that you should tell his wife as it's really not your business to do this but he should know how inappropriate it was, be it accidental or otherwise, and let him sort out his own business. I'm not sure how you all will get through a BBQ together without it feeling awkward after that so good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Both you and your husband should call him out on revealing his shortcomings...and imo it will affect your friendship with this couple. Who wants to socialize with someone who thought that was acceptable behavior? At the least, I certainly wouldn't be contacting or receiving contacts from him again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Hmm, it's not hard to see how it could be an honest mistake. The problem with the way today's smart phones are with all of the short cuts a couple of quick clicks and you send the latest photo whatever that may be, to someone, or to your facebook feed. I'd probably just ignore it, if it was an accident he's probably mortified. If it was intentional it probably won't be the end of it, and you can deal with it when it comes up again. Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I once sent a kissy face meant for my fiance to a friend whose name was right above his on my contacts list. It happens. Of course, my friend sent a quip back to me and I immediately said "oh no! Sorry. Glad it wasn't a boob!" response back to her lol I'd get your hubby to text him and ask what was up. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Oh, I'd be very surprised if that was a mistake. His wife doesn't want to see his penis pic. In fact, no one wants to see his penis pic. Your husband should have a word. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 (edited) Even if it was a mistake, imo, it needs to be addressed by your husband to him to clear the air. It's not right for you to have to wonder whether it was a mistake or not. If he made a mistake, he needs to apologize. One reason for apologies in general is that it indicates the person who made the mistake realizes and is sorry it happened. That is the decent thing to do. In civilized society when someone belches (burps), they say, "Excuse me," even though it's an embarrassing mistake. An uncivilized person ignores it. If he sent the photo and doesn't realize what he did, then he needs to know so that he doesn't do something like that again to someone. I'm a single female. If any male sent me that type of photo I would immediately address it. Edited August 28, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 This guy got caught with his pants down...literally! Honestly, I would have sent a selfie of you and your hubby with frightened/shocked faces in response to that dick pic just so he got the message loud and clear. This is what I would do. Or I'd possibly send back a picture of hubby doing an OTT sexy pose. Or his foot. Or a photo of underpants and suggest he put them on. Or a 'run away screaming' animated gif. Seriously, I'd have so much fun with this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 (edited) This is what I would do. Or I'd possibly send back a picture of hubby doing an OTT sexy pose. Or his foot. Or a photo of underpants and suggest he put them on. Or a 'run away screaming' animated gif. Seriously, I'd have so much fun with this. One reason I wouldn't do that is because if this guy ramps it up by doing anything else to her and ends up saving a text they've sent, they have no legal recourse because they also did the same thing. It could also be argued then that it was all a big joke. OP, this is nothing to play around with. This is no joke, it's abuse unless it was meant for someone else. If it was, it still needs to be addressed, not in an angry or accusatory way. Your husband mentioning to him may very well put a stop to any future shenanigans. Any type of texted response that could in any way be construed as if you didn't take it seriously, it was all a big joke, or you egged him on is, imo, unwise. Edited August 28, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Its inappropriate....calling X's husband to relay message to his wife is ridiculous...No way would any woman I am with would ever agree to do, even if I told her to do it..Couldn't you send her an email? Or she doesn't own a computer either?? Why didn't your husband just ask him? TFY Yep. He took you texting him instead of your husband the wrong way. He thought you were interested. Have your husband shoot him a text saying 'wrong number, dick' and be done with it. Dude probably is trying to cheat on his wife though. Don't text other women's husbands, just don't, not because you have ill intentions but people can get...confused. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Maybe he got the vibe off the OP that she was somehow interested, maybe he meant it to go somewhere else, his OW, someone from Craigslist, a coworker? or it was meant to go to his wife, or he is just some guy who is doing the internet equivalent of "indecent exposure" or "flashing". ‘every person wilfully, openly, lewdly, and obscenely exposing his person in any public highway, with intent to insult any female shall be deemed a rogue and vagabond’. Vagrancy Act 1824 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Oh wait....I thought the husband got the text..... Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 ‘every person wilfully, openly, lewdly, and obscenely exposing his person in any public highway, with intent to insult any female shall be deemed a rogue and vagabond’. Vagrancy Act 1824 LOL!! OP says she texted 'rogue' about some home keeping issue, all day. That should not do it but for some, that's all it takes...shrug. Basil has the right idea with funnies, though apparently, this friendship should be adjusted. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Oh wait....I thought the husband got the text..... NO, the OP had been texting the friend's husband all day about the project, and then the d*ck pic from him, came through on HER phone late at night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I'd lost sight of the fact this was a "friend" when posting. Was thinking it was a new neighbor you'd just met. Guess he's probably just testing the waters for an affair (ugh! how crass!) so probably no legal proceedings will happen but still wouldn't joke with him about it... What kind of a friend does that? OP, hope your husband steps in and asks him about it. I thought Timshell's text suggestion was great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rushed Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 OP, isn't your husband outraged that his "friend" sent his wife a dick pic? Also, if your friends with the wife, I'd certainly give her a heads up as well. They could very well be swingers on the prowl, but I'd make sure everyone involved knew what happened and that it was not cool with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 I'd lost sight of the fact this was a "friend" when posting. Was thinking it was a new neighbor you'd just met. Guess he's probably just testing the waters for an affair (ugh! how crass!) so probably no legal proceedings will happen but still wouldn't joke with him about it... What kind of a friend does that? OP, hope your husband steps in and asks him about it. I thought Timshell's text suggestion was great. Thanks LivingWaterPlease. I would not make light of it, don't understand why OP texted instead of her husband about home issue. None the less, no excuse for his letting lose. Maybe OP's friend's hubby is that bored or ridiculous. I agree with TFY, I text my gf's. I do.not.ever.text their husbands. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Thanks LivingWaterPlease. I would not make light of it, don't understand why OP texted instead of her husband about home issue. None the less, no excuse for his letting lose. Maybe OP's friend's hubby is that bored or ridiculous. I agree with TFY, I text my gf's. I do.not.ever.text their husbands. Me, either, Timshel. Boundaries for MM. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Thanks LivingWaterPlease. I would not make light of it, don't understand why OP texted instead of her husband about home issue. None the less, no excuse for his letting lose. Maybe OP's friend's hubby is that bored or ridiculous. I agree with TFY, I text my gf's. I do.not.ever.text their husbands. Whew.....I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me.....well...more wrong than already is, anyway... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Time to go NC with these people. Send/forward a copy to the BW with the message that the both of you are going NC with them. Never give a cancer time to spread. The only thing to add is that do not move and have them become your neighbors. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
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