What am I gonna do?

[Sosad]

I'm 18 years old and for the past two years, I my boyfriend and I have had a great relationship. I was and still am in love. Since we are both seniors in high school, and its graduation time, our lives are very hectic. Especially this past week. I am very involved in the school and had several awards to attend and such, while my boyfriend had a special class outing to a theme park. Included in this class is a girl I'll refer to as Sue. Sue grew up with my boyfriend and I know he considers them good firends. She has always been an awkward character to me because when my boyfriend and I started dating almost two years ago she was with him,even though they had only beeen toghether a few weeks. However, I insisted that before he even kiss me that he make it clear to her that the relationship was over. Time passed and Sue was very nice to both of us when she was around us, but I noticed that she was a little too nice to my boyfriend. On this class outing they hung out together and my boyfriend had such a great time not planning graduation or working towards finals. Later that night she needed a ride and he took her home. He had noticed the tension between them and said that he had a better time than he had in a long time. Sue started crying and said that she really liked him, but didn't want us to break up over her because she thought she would feel guilty. My boyfriend admitted being attracted to her and that it had been a long time since he and I had the time to actually have fun. That night, although he didn't tell me anything that had gone on, I told him that I thought Sue was a little over the line, and that I was tired of her "foot in the door". He defended Sue and we got in a huge fight. We were both so busy that we didn't see each other that day(I don't go to the same school as he and Sue do)and at the end of the night, we agreed to take some time apart to get all of our school stuff done. The next day at work, he said that we made better friends than lovers and that he needed time. I cried and he broke down and said he really wasn't sure what he wanted. Eventually he told me that it was so hard for him to drop Sue off after the day they had shared and not kiss her. This broke my heart. However he said he knew that his attraction was displaced and that he just missed me and all the fun things we used to have time to do. He said he's never been attracted to Sue like that before and that he really missed me. We ended up working through it and decided that we would continue to be a couple and he profusley apologized through tears for his "misplaced feelings". Today he is planning to call Sue and to let her know that there is no chance for them, and that what he felt was because of the circumstances, not because he had any real feelings towards her.

 

Now what am I supposed to do? This all happened so quickly, and I feel really stupid. I can't sleep at night and I'm not sure how I am going to make it through the day. I feel like he and Sue have been trying to get me out of the picture for the last few days and I just cried my way back in. I really need to know that he loves me. How can I ever be sure again? The thought of breaking up kills me but should I end this or is this harmless because we are both still so young?

 

Please help!

[Tony T]

I don't think love is something you don't force. You're much better leaving your guy to his own devices. If he really wants to be with you and you with him, that's the way it should be. Otherwise, it is better for you to be away from him.

 

You will be much happier in the long run if, in the future, you let your guys go in whatever direction they will. Don't try to chain love. You'll feel much better and far more secure with someone who genuinely wants to be with you, without a major tearful outburst or coaxing (begging) from you.

 

If another girl is after your guy, the instinctual thing is to feel threatened. The better thing is to feel confident and self assured. If your guy wanders off to another lady, so be it. Again, the right guy for you will be one who is not inclined to want to be with someone else.

 

You may not understand this now...but you will in time.