I went to abroad and she is dating someone else everytime we fight

[Gino]

Hello everyone, I'll cut this short, fast and and understadable.

Actually we weren't bf/gf but we've dated several times before I went to abroad but the problem is, I always give way for her trying to understand her situation and she keeps mentioning that she's been hurt by her past boyfriends and not ready for a relationship, I am making my move to become her boyfriend inch by inch and understanding her not to rush through the way, we've been along the way for almost 8 months.. But there's more, when we are fighting grievously, she won't talk to me a month and over until's she's done, it's her huge ego she is behaving and what's hurting is, she is dating someone else every time she does do it to me, she told me about these things twice.. The first time did this to me was ok to me and I forgive it, then she came back to me by talking only online, everything went fine and she dated my mother while I'm away, but then after more than 4 months, she told me again that she's dating her ex back again, who came also from abroad, but between our grudge of the girl, I do not know how they've been doing, it was like I felt the guy just sprouted out of nowhere and suddenly. It was a month before she admitted it, and along the way, I also they've been dating but not posting their pictures together.. This girl even promised that we will wait until I get back home.. She begs me not to leave even just for friendship, ready to listen whenever I get problems, I always cry whenever she's not talking to me or fighting me back and now I have declined her offer, I have told her I won't be her friend nor get back when she gets failed again with her current man she's been dating.. But I think sometimes I'm getting depressed or alone or what. It's been a month like this so I am trying to make myself busy. Anyone can help?

[Space Ritual]

. Anyone can help?

 

Yep and the answer is easy. Get rid of her and go no contact Only a total fool would keep going back to accept such treatment at the hands of some drama queen

 

Have some self respect and don't waste your time.

[Gino]

Yeah, thank you for the reply, once is still ok but making twice is not good the trust has lost already.

[basil67]

From what you write, it sounds like she's not your girlfriend. If this is correct, she can date whoever she wants. She's done nothing wrong here.

[ExpatInItaly]

she dated my mother while I'm away

 

Er...what?

[Chi townD]

I think you misspelled and meant that she dated your brother. Or maybe I'm wrong and if I am......wow....

 

Dude, you are holding out for a person that doesn't want to be with you. She wants you around for the emotional support. A shoulder to lean on. But, she doesn't want to be with you. I can speculate that she gets you to do things for her. And if this is the case, then she is using you. Dude, you don't serve that at all.

 

Go no contact on her. True, you are not girlfriend and boyfriend but you have a strong emotional attachment to her and you need to break that. Dude, there are more girls out there in the world than there is guys. There is a girl out there that is perfect for you and will want to be with you because there's no other place in the world she would rather be. And she's out there right now. Waiting for you to find her. But, you're never going to if you keep tying yourself to a girl that doesn't want to be yours.

 

Sorry dude. Time to move on.

[smackie9]

The only reason she wants you around is because you give her attention unconditionally....you are a bloody doormat. She's using you for her emotional tam*0#.

 

You are a desperate fool being taken advantage of....bending over backwards, being at her beck and call isn't going to win her over. She is not your GF, she is not interested in a committed relationship with YOU, she is dating other guys for a reason, because she wants to. You are not inching your way to being her BF, it's all in your head.....open your eyes! Get rid of her, move on.

[Gino]

From what you write, it sounds like she's not your girlfriend. If this is correct, she can date whoever she wants. She's done nothing wrong here.

 

Yeah you're right, I'm ain't her boyfriend at anyways. But she did promising and wants to to wait me, what hurts is she kept a words and promise and willing to wait until I get back home.

[Gino]

Er...what?

 

I am at abroad nowadays, so she befriended with my mother she meets her personally before.

[Gino]

I think you misspelled and meant that she dated your brother. Or maybe I'm wrong and if I am......wow....

 

Dude, you are holding out for a person that doesn't want to be with you. She wants you around for the emotional support. A shoulder to lean on. But, she doesn't want to be with you. I can speculate that she gets you to do things for her. And if this is the case, then she is using you. Dude, you don't serve that at all.

 

Go no contact on her. True, you are not girlfriend and boyfriend but you have a strong emotional attachment to her and you need to break that. Dude, there are more girls out there in the world than there is guys. There is a girl out there that is perfect for you and will want to be with you because there's no other place in the world she would rather be. And she's out there right now. Waiting for you to find her. But, you're never going to if you keep tying yourself to a girl that doesn't want to be yours.

 

Sorry dude. Time to move on.

 

Very appreciated your comment bro, thank you for understanding and you got the whole point.. She befriended with my mother and they go out together before... To tell you, whenever we we're talking before, she keeps mentioning she's not ready for a relationship and due to her heartbreak (I felt her) to think I was dumb and sometime before, I already talked to myself (is this girl will ever just use me for her to satisfy her personal needs and interest) but then I disregarded that thought of mine, I have just let things to be favored for her because I loved her so much before, sometimes there's nothing left for me just to satisfy what she wants. We've been alright all the way before I left my land but there are times she won't talk to me for 1 month and over whenever she gets mad, what's worst is, you will see online that she is involved with other man, and right this time as of now, she did again to me, twice already.. Because her ex bf went back home from abroad also then I have thought that she was simply manipulated by the man too and maybe just urging to be around with man as to date physically in which I am not present. But well I really think so I've been used as a doormat, a shoulder to lean on, then booom I was left out of nowhere.. And plus I won't really get back to her, being fooled once is alright but making twice is not really good, like I said the trust is already broken and dude you know? She said she doesn't want to break the friendship, wth I would be a doormat again if I will accept her request. Anyways thank your for your input!

[Gino]

The only reason she wants you around is because you give her attention unconditionally....you are a bloody doormat. She's using you for her emotional tam*0#.

 

You are a desperate fool being taken advantage of....bending over backwards, being at her beck and call isn't going to win her over. She is not your GF, she is not interested in a committed relationship with YOU, she is dating other guys for a reason, because she wants to. You are not inching your way to being her BF, it's all in your head.....open your eyes! Get rid of her, move on.

 

Yeah, but she kept a word and promise before I left our land, that's what hurt the most, and I already thought somehow before that "Ain't she just using me for her own interest?" Because she keeps mentioning before that she doesn't want to make any commitment and yet I was right she isn't yet over her ex boyfriend who just came out all of a sudden coming back home from abroad too.

[ExpatInItaly]

I am at abroad nowadays, so she befriended with my mother she meets her personally before.

 

Ah, ok. "Dating" implies a romantic connection.

 

Anyway, this girl isn't your girlfriend and you're wasting your time with her. Find another girl who doesn't play games and give you false hope.