Romantic Interest towards you

[Mysterio]

So what do you think if you don't have people show romantic interest in you as you are single. Or if you do have a partner. They don't try to be physical affectionate towards you,

 

Do you take it personally. Is it a reflection of something you can be doing to have that in your life. Is it realistic for people to constantly be having people into them physically all the time.

 

For me. It always seems to work for me, when I don't care or once in a while. Like if I look at my life. Women are more coming on to me or let me know they dig me in a romantic way. When I don't care and it feels like every two/three years.

 

Years women have been into me starting from when I was 29 in 2000.

 

2000/2003-twice/2006/2012/2013. Thats 6 women I have been physical with.

 

I have gone on Dates inbetween there. I just don't know why I have always had a problem with maintaining LTR with a woman in a romantic context. I am 46 now. I try to fight it. I don't know why I can't override my desire to have a special woman in my life. I did have a psychic tell me that I have to trust my intuition and heart and be patient. Not just go looking for it.

 

Then you see other that have no problems with having GF and such. I don't know why a lot of us are still having problems dating and having romantic relationships as we age. You would think that things of that nature would be more smoother now. My job and making friends are way easier now than when I was younger. For some reason. I have never been unemployed or friendless as well. Romantically. Feels way more barren for me. Even though I have been with 6 people in 17 yrs since I was 30.

 

Anyways whats your take.

[alphamale]

i've had two women wanting to date me in the past month

[carhill]

So what do you think if you don't have people show romantic interest in you as you are single?

When young, took it more personally than was healthy. After sufficient disinterest/rejection/deception, skin got thicker.

Or if you do have a partner. They don't try to be physical affectionate towards you,

Yeah, that bugged me when married but it was the reverse, no problem with sex but the other stuff wasn't there. Kinda like a porn star filming for the camera. Ironically, far more women hit on me when married than when single. By far.

Do you take it personally.

Now? Nah, just part of life. Whether it's physical or emotional, it's usually want. Like a vacuum cleaner wants dust bunnies. I don't mind the vacuum being shut off. Less noise, more peace.

Is it a reflection of something you can be doing to have that in your life.

Like anything else it takes effort if one isn't universally attractive. In that I have a lot of company.

Is it realistic for people to constantly be having people into them physically all the time.

For some, sure. It's their normal. Others, not. I kinda like being relatively invisible. Some folks notice over time but nothing room stopping. I'm good with that.

 

TBH, I'd have been perfectly happy with a quantity of one and growing old together. Obviously, styles in this regard differ widely. I'd say my style is decidedly in the minority. My exW likely fits the current societal mold much better. IMO, that's important, fitting in.

 

Good luck!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

A lot comes down to effort. If I'm not going out at all (I work from home) or putting myself out there in any other way (i.e. OLD), there's no way on earth I should expect anyone to show interest in me. I'm a ghost! Even if I do go out, if I present myself physically in a way that doesn't show I'm interested in having someone show interest (ie. a hoodie and flip flops), it won't happen.

 

A lot is on the person desiring the interest is what I'm trying to say.

[SammySammy]

Mark Manson wrote an interesting book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck on this subject.

[SammySammy]

If I started to notice that no women seemed interested in me, I would have to give it some serious thought. Am I getting out of the house enough? Talking to enough people? Have I gained weight, or otherwise let my appearance go in some way? I would assume I was screwing up somewhere.

 

I wonder if it's true no one is interested in them.

 

I suspect many young men can't recognize interest and, if they did, wouldn't know how to successfully act on it.

 

There are people in some very bad situations that have romantic interests. Have physical, mental, financial, and many other problems but still have a partner.

[The Urbanyst]

Things are different in 2017. Cultural norms and attitudes change over time.

 

Most people who fail badly at relationships are either too desperate or too fake. You have to be able to confidently and honestly express yourself without worrying about the outcome.

 

A lot of people try to be controlling and manipulative in relationships by saying what they believe the other person wants to hear and acting how they believe the other person wants them to act instead of just being present in the moment.

 

Hope that helps.

[CptInsano]

There has been a decent amount of interest, and it is not hard to chat up somebody. It's just that with experience you know what works and what doesn't. There is also a certain degree of contentment about my life as it is, and I'm quite comfortable with where I'm at. In contrast to my career I'm just not terribly motivated at the moment when it comes to relationships

[JuneJulySeptember]

Women never show interest in me unless I approach them first if that's what you mean.

 

And since, I would never approach a woman when I'm dating somebody else, no women show interest in me.

[Southwardbound]

Mark Manson wrote an interesting book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck on this subject.

 

Excellent book. He has a twitter account too, that he links article writing to. That is well-worth a read, too.

[preraph]

I think it happens for a lot of different reasons. Once a psychologist told me, the only one I've ever unloaded on, Geez, you have just had really bad luck in love. I had never thought of it like that, because you know each love is a constellation and you can't see it from a distance that simply. But to some extent it was true. But then I have always accepted my part in it, which is I was very adventurous and didn't have a domestic bone in my body when young. Ironically, now it's ALL I do, make tuna salad, putter. (but still not good at housework -- my bad)

[CptInsano]

[...] But then I have always accepted my part in it, which is I was very adventurous and didn't have a domestic bone in my body when young. Ironically, now it's ALL I do, make tuna salad, putter. (but still not good at housework -- my bad)

 

For some reason I have the feeling that it was probably worth it.