There's this foreign exchange student in my University class. . .

[Nitsua]

I'd really appreciate you reading all of this!

 

There's a girl in my class who is a foreign exchange student.

She's a little shy and I had always thought she was attractive, but it is not until recently that I found out she was an exchange student because we had to do a short presentation and her accent came through beautifully.

 

So after the day of our presentations it would a good chance for me to talk to her for a reason, so I did.

I noticed after class she always fills up her bottle at the fountain outside our room, so that is where I spoke to her.

I went up and introduced myself and said I really liked her accent. I asked her where it was from, where she was from, how long she was staying in the States, etc. She was German.

It was a nice interaction, I think she was a little nervous because like I said I think she is a little shy. She laughed and smiled about basically everything I said, so I'm pretty sure that's a good sign.

 

I couldn't chat long though because I had another class to go to, and I told her that and we parted ways onto the rest of our day.

 

The thing is I only see this girl in that one class and never anywhere else.

So I was wondering if you guys had some tips on how I should talk to her more after class or something?

 

I was thinking about going up to her at the fountain (where she normally always goes after class for some reason lol) and asking her if she was Thirsty in German just to get a conversation going And I could handle the conversation from there.

 

Do you guys have any other suggestions on interacting with her? I want to get to know this girl, get her number, maybe go on a few dates, and whatever else happens.

[preraph]

I like your idea. Meanwhile, ask if she'd like to go out for a beer on Friday. (Friday trying to keep her from saying, No I have to study or get up early.) Just ask. She either will or she won't. She seemed friendly. English being her second language, she may feel awkward rather than shy, afraid no one will understand her.

[CptInsano]

She may be self-conscious about her being German and speaking with a German accent. But keep in mind that Germans start learning English in 5th grade, if not earlier. She will pretty much understand everything you say, but might interpret some idiomatic expressions differently. Everything you say in German will be hard for her to understand, on the other hand. If you try your German phrase, don't be surprised if she stares at you with non-comprehension, as the phonetics are distinctly different, even though both languages have certain commonalities.

 

In general, gender roles are less pronounced in Germany than they are in the US, so she will most likely interpret anything you do as a sign of friendship than a romantic interest. This may also contribute to you perceiving her as shy. On the plus side, German women are in general not particularly shy about interacting with men. They really aren't. But even asking her out for a beer might be perceived by her as just that.

 

I would simply interact with her like you would with a girl from the US.

Edited September 1, 2017 by CptInsano

[Bastile]

Yeah, use location as the topic of conversation. Easy stuff, and good fun.

 

One thing that I've noticed going out with foreign girls is that you have to watch yourself from falling into using pigeon English.

 

 

Always expect that the girl be lifted to your level. Because in dumbing yourself down, you really are only negating the contrast that makes the different culture dynamic interesting to her.

[Nitsua]

I like your idea. Meanwhile, ask if she'd like to go out for a beer on Friday. (Friday trying to keep her from saying, No I have to study or get up early.) Just ask. She either will or she won't. She seemed friendly. English being her second language, she may feel awkward rather than shy, afraid no one will understand her.

 

Thanks for the reply! I didn't think about her maybe feeling awkward about her accent.

I don't think we could go out for drinks though because we're both 20. I'm going to try and see if we have anything going on at campus though and try that.

 

Thanks again.

 

She may be self-conscious about her being German and speaking with a German accent. But keep in mind that Germans start learning English in 5th grade, if not earlier. She will pretty much understand everything you say, but might interpret some idiomatic expressions differently. Everything you say in German will be hard for her to understand, on the other hand. If you try your German phrase, don't be surprised if she stares at you with non-comprehension, as the phonetics are distinctly different, even though both languages have certain commonalities.

 

In general, gender roles are less pronounced in Germany than they are in the US, so she will most likely interpret anything you do as a sign of friendship than a romantic interest. This may also contribute to you perceiving her as shy. On the plus side, German women are in general not particularly shy about interacting with men. They really aren't. But even asking her out for a beer might be perceived by her as just that.

 

I would simply interact with her like you would with a girl from the US.

 

Interesting. Thanks for the response.

I'll try and test my German on her; at the very least she'll find it funny/cute I hope.

 

Do you have any advice on how I should let her know I'd be interested in more than just friendship and not automatically get seen as a friend only?

 

Thank you again.

 

Yeah, use location as the topic of conversation. Easy stuff, and good fun.

 

One thing that I've noticed going out with foreign girls is that you have to watch yourself from falling into using pigeon English.

 

 

Always expect that the girl be lifted to your level. Because in dumbing yourself down, you really are only negating the contrast that makes the different culture dynamic interesting to her.

 

Thank you.

I thought about this some myself. She seems to be very fluent in English (she did her presentation), but I will keep this in mind when talking with her.

[CptInsano]

[...]

Do you have any advice on how I should let her know I'd be interested in more than just friendship and not automatically get seen as a friend only?

 

Thank you again. [...]

 

You probably won't be something more right away. I grew up in Germany and I've seen US exchange students strike out with (educated) German women left and right. The main issue being that they are perceived as being way too crude and obnoxious. For me on the other hand it was not unusual to meet her family prior to having a relationship with a German woman. Things happened, but at a slower pace than in the US. On the flip side, many German women are used to hanging around guys. You will not have a whole lot of trouble finding stuff to do. Also, many German women are used to splitting the bill on a date. Don't read anything into that.

 

Take your time. You will probably not get around befriending her first, then taking things from there.

Edited September 2, 2017 by CptInsano

[Bastile]

Sexualize her. Tell her that you like her hair, nails, style, her shoes, that she looks really nice today, that she has long legs, etc.

 

Really think that using the topic of location is the easiest to vibe off of with women that you don't know. Have fun with it.

 

Thank you.

I thought about this some myself. She seems to be very fluent in English (she did her presentation), but I will keep this in mind when talking with her.

 

Over time, they start picking up, borrowing, and using some of your own peculiar sayings. And that's really cute

[CptInsano]

Sexualize her. Tell her that you like her hair, nails, style, her shoes, that she looks really nice today, that she has long legs, etc.[...]

 

Beware of the cultural context, my friend. I don't know the exact background of that German girl, but if she is part of the educated middle class this may be exactly the wrong approach. My last German date got upset that I paid the bill at the restaurant.

Edited September 2, 2017 by CptInsano

[Nitsua]

Beware of the cultural context, my friend. I don't know the exact background of that German girl, but if she is part of the educated middle class this may be exactly the wrong approach. My last German date got upset that I paid the bill at the restaurant.

 

Thanks.

 

I'll try and take things at a good pace; she is leaving to go back to Germany after this semester unfortunately.

 

I'll note the bill split and play it by ear

 

I appreciate all your help.

[CptInsano]

Thanks.

 

I'll try and take things at a good pace; she is leaving to go back to Germany after this semester unfortunately.

 

I'll note the bill split and play it by ear

 

I appreciate all your help.

 

Good luck, and be careful. The same type of situation caused me to end up in another part of the world.

[Nitsua]

BUMP

 

In case anyone else had input :]

[Nitsua]

Update:

the girl wasn't in class today so I couldn't talk to her :c

 

better luck next class I supose

[CptInsano]

Update:

the girl wasn't in class today so I couldn't talk to her :c

 

better luck next class I supose

 

Yup, better luck next time!