BrianaRN Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 how do you cope with knowing 3 yrs of your life were fake and meant nothing, and the person you loved never really loved you or respected you. How do you recover from that? How do you move on knowing that when he said he loved you it was a lie. How could he cheat and carry on a separate relationship if he loved me? I feel so worthless, blaming myself, but I know it's not me. How does anyone recover from this? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Those years weren't worthless. The weren't a lie. They were a time you did something. The relationship was real while it was going on. It's simply over now. You are not worthless. Your ego took a big hit & now you are in mourning for the loss of your relationship. You will get through this. It will suck for a while because your heart is broken but you will be OK eventually 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 There are people who don't love well enough to stop them from doing things to hurt someone's feelings and cause them pain. It's their deficit, not yours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 You can never know when someone sets out to deceive you from day one. A friend discovered (after 9 years and 4 children) that she was the OW. He had another family who she became aware of at his dad's funeral. It's not your fault and it's about accepting the world has some crappy people in it, but you won't let that dictate your future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 how do you cope with knowing 3 yrs of your life were fake and meant nothing, and the person you loved never really loved you or respected you. How do you recover from that? How do you move on knowing that when he said he loved you it was a lie. How could he cheat and carry on a separate relationship if he loved me? I feel so worthless, blaming myself, but I know it's not me. How does anyone recover from this? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.... How? You get down on your knees and offer unlimited thanks to God that BF is out of your life, did not waste a wedding on him, have kids, joint property, go through a divorce. You got to cut your loses quick and easy dumping that loser. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 how do you cope with knowing 3 yrs of your life were fake and meant nothing, and the person you loved never really loved you or respected you. How do you recover from that? How do you move on knowing that when he said he loved you it was a lie. How could he cheat and carry on a separate relationship if he loved me? I feel so worthless, blaming myself, but I know it's not me. How does anyone recover from this? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.... You will recover with time and you are not worthless. You have to remember that so called men have been lying to women for ever. They do it to get what they want from them "sex". They can do it now easier then ever because women are becoming more willing to have sexual experiences themselves. So the so called men are doing anything they can to get it. I am sure he loved you in a way and really loved the time with you. He just wasn't ready or willing to settle down. Maybe he thought it was time to end it before things went further. If you are looking to find someone that loves you for who you are as a person, you need to hold off having sex until he proves himself. I waited over two years for my wife until our wedding night. It will be 30 years next year and I have never strayed. Still having fun a few times a week. Yes we have had our ups and downs but we are committed to one another. Hope this helps you. One thing I would like to say to you that I have always told my daughter. You are worth waiting for. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 how do you cope with knowing 3 yrs of your life were fake and meant nothing, and the person you loved never really loved you or respected you. How do you recover from that? How do you move on knowing that when he said he loved you it was a lie. How could he cheat and carry on a separate relationship if he loved me? I feel so worthless, blaming myself, but I know it's not me. How does anyone recover from this? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.... The most notorious 4 letter word around here...TIME. Grieve as much as you feel like. Just remember that there are guys out there that won't treat you like that. You will come to the realization he was broken, and nothing you did caused him to cheat. He did that all on his own. You may be responsible for 50 percent of your relationship...however you have ZERO responsibility for his decision to cheat on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpkin008 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Ah, I have been there. OP, in your entire lifetime those 3 years are going to be so small. It could have been 6 years, or 10 or 20. It seems like a lot now but in time, it will not be as bad. Remind yourself what you have learned and gained. You now know the type of person that you DON'T want to be with. This makes him much easier to recognize- should he pop up again. Take some time for you and surround yourself with the people that actually do love and care about you. Link to post Share on other sites
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