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Beating yourself up when its over?


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In a word yes, infact i'm doing it now as my latest relationship finished 3 days ago and I feel broken. I have a tendancy to go over points again and again until it drives me crazy.

 

I wish I didn't do it - but there you go

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I've done that my whole life.

 

I say...."Why discriminate? The rest of my life deserves it too!"

 

take care

 

:)

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me....but it was 95% my fault... that's just an objective truth. I went through that phase where I couldn't forgive myself. Now, most days I do, and I see it as a learning lesson. I'm a better person now having made those mistakes and learned from them

Edited by Cookiesandough
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I am a perfectionist so I tend to internalize a lot.

 

However, with relationships it's rarely one person's fault (unless you cheated). Give yourself a break. You are not as much the Master of the Universe controlling everything as you think you are. Therefore, it can't be ALL your fault.

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I'm currently writing the story of my break up. I recently wrote about something I had told my ex and for years I was mad at myself for saying it. I thought it was the 'relationship breaking point' and that it was all my fault. Writing it yesterday I realized how insignificant and unimportant that moment really was and that it wasn't the reason behind the break up. I totally blew things out of proportions in my mind back then because I was in pain.

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Southwardbound
I'm currently writing the story of my break up. I recently wrote about something I had told my ex and for years I was mad at myself for saying it. I thought it was the 'relationship breaking point' and that it was all my fault. Writing it yesterday I realized how insignificant and unimportant that moment really was and that it wasn't the reason behind the break up. I totally blew things out of proportions in my mind back then because I was in pain.

 

Sadly it is usually the most trivial things that cause breakups. As they get all blown up out of portion and could have been easily solved.

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