xxpetite.angexx Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I wanted to get some thoughts on this...I matched on Tinder with a guy over the 4th of July. It is now 9/1 and we've been talking every day since. Last week, I found out from his ex that he was in a committed relationship with her when he and I matched. When they had gone away the last weekend of July, he told me he was attending a bachelor party. Obviously, after talking to his ex, he came clean that he had been in an exclusive relationship with her. But, he told me that since he and I met the first week of August, he has since distanced himself from her. I also know that he cheated on the woman whom he is currently divorcing. This is his second divorce. He went from dating the ex who messaged me to dating me a week after he broke up with her. I wasn't really looking for anything serious and we live two hours away. Is he worth continuing to see since neither of us want anything serious? Or should I let this guy go, since our relationship is built on lie after lie and his ex said he rushed into things with her too? He's charming and the sex is really good. I think I can stay strong, but is it dangerous to continue interacting with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 How on earth did it come to pass that you had any contact with your Tinder match's EX? IMO, people who get involved with their SO's EX are pot stirrers. I'd stay away. He's a twice divorced liar. He told you he was single & going to a bachelor party when he was with his GF. Nothing good for you can come from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxpetite.angexx Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 That's probably a good idea. Thank you for your reply! She messaged me because he is not discreet about us, and she wanted to warn me of him, since he initiated a relationship with her quickly and l-bombed her after only a couples weeks of them meeting in person then left her just as quick. She didn't come across as wanting to cause drama, just wanting to give me a heads up that, based on what he did to his ex-wife and her, that he might do that to me too since they'd broken up only a week before he and I met in person. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 Yes, it is a huge risk to continue communicating with this guy. You're very likely not the only one he's talking to and sleeping with either. I would forget him. Even for a causal arrangement, he's too much work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I wanted to get some thoughts on this...I matched on Tinder with a guy over the 4th of July. It is now 9/1 and we've been talking every day since. Last week, I found out from his ex that he was in a committed relationship with her when he and I matched. When they had gone away the last weekend of July, he told me he was attending a bachelor party. Obviously, after talking to his ex, he came clean that he had been in an exclusive relationship with her. But, he told me that since he and I met the first week of August, he has since distanced himself from her. I also know that he cheated on the woman whom he is currently divorcing. This is his second divorce. He went from dating the ex who messaged me to dating me a week after he broke up with her. I wasn't really looking for anything serious and we live two hours away. Is he worth continuing to see since neither of us want anything serious? Or should I let this guy go, since our relationship is built on lie after lie and his ex said he rushed into things with her too? He's charming and the sex is really good. I think I can stay strong, but is it dangerous to continue interacting with this guy? He is so full of crap his teeth are floating. Date him at your own peril 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I wanted to get some thoughts on this...I matched on Tinder with a guy over the 4th of July. It is now 9/1 and we've been talking every day since. Last week, I found out from his ex that he was in a committed relationship with her when he and I matched. When they had gone away the last weekend of July, he told me he was attending a bachelor party. Obviously, after talking to his ex, he came clean that he had been in an exclusive relationship with her. But, he told me that since he and I met the first week of August, he has since distanced himself from her. I also know that he cheated on the woman whom he is currently divorcing. This is his second divorce. He went from dating the ex who messaged me to dating me a week after he broke up with her. I wasn't really looking for anything serious and we live two hours away. Is he worth continuing to see since neither of us want anything serious? Or should I let this guy go, since our relationship is built on lie after lie and his ex said he rushed into things with her too? He's charming and the sex is really good. I think I can stay strong, but is it dangerous to continue interacting with this guy? Definatly red flags all over this one I would walk away...ur about to enter a world of pain wth this guy find someone wth better morals if he did it to them he'll do it to u Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxpetite.angexx Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 Thank you both for the replies. I guess I was looking to justify staying with him since he's really charming and we're taking things really slowly and with zero expectations. I was thinking maybe it wasn't such a horrible idea, but maybe I should reconsider... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 So, I posted the below in a different forum, but am now wondering if the guy I've been seeing is a narcissist, ******* or just has had bad girlfriends up until me? I wanted to get some thoughts on this...I matched on Tinder with a guy over the 4th of July. It is now 9/1 and we've been talking every day since. He's so into me that he invited me on his trip to Bali in February. Last week, I found out from his ex that he was in a committed relationship with her when he and I matched. Apparently, they'd been talking since the end of February and a couple weeks after they met in person, he started l-bombing her, telling her he wanted to move to her state and had been applying to jobs and that he'd never had such chemistry with anyone before. When they had gone away the last weekend of July, he told me he was attending a bachelor party. Obviously, after talking to his ex, he came clean that he had been in an exclusive relationship with her. But, he told me that since he and I met the first week of August, he has since distanced himself from her. He told me he was sorry with how he handled things with her, meanwhile he was texting her nasty things and was putting blame on her. I also know that he cheated on the woman whom he is currently divorcing. This is his second divorce. He went from dating the ex who messaged me to dating me a week after he broke up with her. I wasn't really looking for anything serious and we live two hours away. Is he worth continuing to see since neither of us want anything serious? Or should I let this guy go, since our relationship is built on lie after lie and his ex said he rushed into things with her too? He's charming and the sex is really good. I think I can stay strong, but is it dangerous to continue interacting with this guy? I bolded the part that should be the nail in the coffin because this way of dealing with things explains all of the other behaviors. No clue if he's a narcissist, but he's not boyfriend material, clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) So, I posted the below in a different forum, but am now wondering if the guy I've been seeing is a narcissist, ******* or just has had bad girlfriends up until me? I wanted to get some thoughts on this...I matched on Tinder with a guy over the 4th of July. It is now 9/1 and we've been talking every day since. He's so into me that he invited me on his trip to Bali in February. Last week, I found out from his ex that he was in a committed relationship with her when he and I matched. Apparently, they'd been talking since the end of February and a couple weeks after they met in person, he started l-bombing her, telling her he wanted to move to her state and had been applying to jobs and that he'd never had such chemistry with anyone before. When they had gone away the last weekend of July, he told me he was attending a bachelor party. Obviously, after talking to his ex, he came clean that he had been in an exclusive relationship with her. But, he told me that since he and I met the first week of August, he has since distanced himself from her. He told me he was sorry with how he handled things with her, meanwhile he was texting her nasty things and was putting blame on her. I also know that he cheated on the woman whom he is currently divorcing. This is his second divorce. He went from dating the ex who messaged me to dating me a week after he broke up with her. I wasn't really looking for anything serious and we live two hours away. Is he worth continuing to see since neither of us want anything serious? Or should I let this guy go, since our relationship is built on lie after lie and his ex said he rushed into things with her too? He's charming and the sex is really good. I think I can stay strong, but is it dangerous to continue interacting with this guy? I think you are fooling yourself. You can't and won't stay strong. You're going to get emotionally attached and find yourself in a world of hurt. The fact that you've created a couple of threads on a forum already indicates your emotional investment in this situation. Talking yourself into a bad situation because the sex is good and you like the attention is short sighted. Forget about the label. He's a manipulator, a liar, a cheater, etc. No amount of good sex is worth entangling yourself. And let's say he is a narcissist, the last thing you do is engage with one. Create better standards for yourself. Aim higher. Edited September 5, 2017 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 How good can the sex be if you can't trust him? He's a cheater. His pattern sure sounds like lovebomb, devalue, discard. That will likely be the case with you whether you two are serious or not. Walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpkin008 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 This guys has more issues than the Ford Pinto. I'd suggest finding someone closer to home with less baggage. You will never really be able to trust him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Stay the heck away from this guy. He's bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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