Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I feel like people can be attracted to less then hot people but sometimes it's insecurity where the person feels like they need a hot person next to them because it validates their own attractiveness in their mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I'm 31. I used to make myself date less attractive men. It was easier when I was younger as I heavily romanticized dating. Like I said, I tried with less attractive guys, but they come at me in a very sexual way. I'm afraid the good looking men were all around different, not just the looks. Also, I work hard to be in shape. I don't feel like I should have to date a man with a pot belly just bc he's a man. Maybe if he were super romantic I could make myself deal with it, but nowadays it's more likely I'll get a pic of his junk than a live letter lol. How were the good looking men all around different? Can you use specific examples? Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 How were the good looking men all around different? Can you use specific examples? That would be getting off on a tangent. You can pm or start a thread. My point to crunchy was it's normal to not find most men attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I feel like people can be attracted to less then hot people but sometimes it's insecurity where the person feels like they need a hot person next to them because it validates their own attractiveness in their mind. Or maybe guys as a whole are kinda meh. The average guy isn't beautiful or sexy the way women are, esp not straight guys. Anyway, between the guys I know and the responses on here, it's not adding up. I know a guy who is over 6ft tall, former high school football, former military, and he rides a motorcycle. Yes never wanted for sex or a gf. He says he gets treated like man candy. Ha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Or maybe guys as a whole are kinda meh. The average guy isn't beautiful or sexy the way women are, esp not straight guys. Anyway, between the guys I know and the responses on here, it's not adding up. I know a guy who is over 6ft tall, former high school football, former military, and he rides a motorcycle. Yes never wanted for sex or a gf. He says he gets treated like man candy. Ha! Ehh I don't think most girls are beautiful or sexy most are average hence the word average. I think people tend to overrate their own genders attraction level because there not the ones trying to sleep with them lol. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) Ehh I don't think most girls are beautiful or sexy most are average hence the word average. I think people tend to overrate their own genders attraction level because there not the ones trying to sleep with them lol. Yes, most people are average, but there are many more good looking womenn than men. Also, with men there is less room for error. Like I said there's another thread discussing this. Trust me,I people watch. I'm going through something similar as the op. Thus us something I've sat down and thought about. I'm certainly not saying these things bc women are my gender. I wouldn't be surprised if this complaint becomes more commonplace. Women have their own money and lives. Dating and courtship has changed and is much more sexually charged much more quickly. It's not surprising if more women start looking at men more objectively. Edited February 15, 2018 by hotpotato 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Yes, most people are average, but there are many more good looking womenn than men. Also, with men there is less room for error. Like I said there's another thread discussing this. Trust me,I people watch. I'm going through something similar as the op. Thus us something I've sat down and thought about. I'm certainly not saying these things bc women are my gender. I wouldn't be surprised if this complaint becomes more commonplace. Women have their own money and lives. Dating and courtship has changed and is much more sexually charged much more quickly. It's not surprising if more women start looking at men more objectively. Too each his or her own I do hope you find what you're looking for but I also hope you realize nobodies perfect. If you're looking for a perfect physical specimen with no flaws then you might need to lower your standards a little. Less then perfect looking people fall in love all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 ^ maybe she will need to lower her standards, maybe not. No one has to settle if the alternative is worse than being by themself. I am no longer that picky (IMO) but I could not date someone I wasn’t really attracted to. That doesn’t mean really attractive by society’s standards, but to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 ^ maybe she will need to lower her standards, maybe not. No one has to settle if the alternative is worse than being by themself. I am no longer that picky (IMO) but I could not date someone I wasn’t really attracted to. That doesn’t mean really attractive by society’s standards, but to me. I'm not telling anyone to date somebody they're not attracted to but the way she phrased it made it sound like she's looking for a perfect 10 if that's the case she may need to lower her standards. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Too each his or her own I do hope you find what you're looking for but I also hope you realize nobodies perfect. If you're looking for a perfect physical specimen with no flaws then you might need to lower your standards a little. Less then perfect looking people fall in love all the time. I'm not sure if you are reading and comprehending my posts... If you think you have dating advice for me, you can pm me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I'm not sure if you are reading and comprehending my posts... If you think you have dating advice for me, you can pm me. I can only go by what you write on here.If you can't find anyone around attractive either your standards are way too high, you have a low sex drive or maybe you're attracted to women lol Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I can only go by what you write on here.If you can't find anyone around attractive either your standards are way too high, you have a low sex drive or maybe you're attracted to women lol Where did I say I couldn't find anyone attractive? I never said that. You're exaggerating what I've written. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nothingtolose Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I have been single for about 5 months and have gone on numerous dates during this time. Based on the stuff you can quickly identify almost right away (not taking career, lifestyle etc etc into account), I have mostly found that when it comes to NICE/ GOOD LOOKING/ FUNNY, there are typically 3 scenarios: 1. Nice and good looking guy - reasonably attractive, seems like a nice ****-together kind of dude, but treats the date like a job interview, dry, no sense of humour, no silliness whatsoever. Basically yawn-inducing. 2. Nice and funny guy - Nice and mostly ****-together dude, interested in you, really funny, usually you have the best dates with this one. Unfortunately he is very unattractive and you just can't imagine yourself kissing him, no matter how hard you try. 3. Funny and good looking guy - He's got the looks, the sense of humor, the wit, the confidence. Aaaand he's more often than not...not very nice, and a bit of a jerk/ emotionally unavailable. Are there guys who are reasonably attractive, funny AND nice/ emotionally available? Sure! And smart women have noticed them and snapped them up quickly, so for the most part, they are married or in long term relationships. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiCrunchy Posted February 17, 2018 Author Share Posted February 17, 2018 So this thread was supposed to be about why I am nokg attracted to most men. I think it has gotten a little off track. If like to receive advice on my original post Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 It’s weird bc I am picky like this too in phases. When I can date my type (like right now, the guys who are my type are in abundance) I get even pickier. When I can’t then I just go back to looking for anyone who clicks. I think it has a lot to do with being avoidant as someone else mentioned. E.G i was dating a guy out of my league in all aspects (physically, personality, career etc) There was chemistry but the smallest things started making me think I shouldn’t date him. I was talking myself out of it due to my avoidance Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I have been single for about 5 months and have gone on numerous dates during this time. Based on the stuff you can quickly identify almost right away (not taking career, lifestyle etc etc into account), I have mostly found that when it comes to NICE/ GOOD LOOKING/ FUNNY, there are typically 3 scenarios: 1. Nice and good looking guy - reasonably attractive, seems like a nice ****-together kind of dude, but treats the date like a job interview, dry, no sense of humour, no silliness whatsoever. Basically yawn-inducing. 2. Nice and funny guy - Nice and mostly ****-together dude, interested in you, really funny, usually you have the best dates with this one. Unfortunately he is very unattractive and you just can't imagine yourself kissing him, no matter how hard you try. 3. Funny and good looking guy - He's got the looks, the sense of humor, the wit, the confidence. Aaaand he's more often than not...not very nice, and a bit of a jerk/ emotionally unavailable. Are there guys who are reasonably attractive, funny AND nice/ emotionally available? Sure! And smart women have noticed them and snapped them up quickly, so for the most part, they are married or in long term relationships. I feel the same way about single women Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 So this thread was supposed to be about why I am nokg attracted to most men. I think it has gotten a little off track. If like to receive advice on my original post Why do you think you're not attracted to most men? If you're not attracted to most men strictly on a physical level, that's normal. Most men aren't the physical type to elicit raw sexual responses. Straight men also have higher bmis than gay men. I feel like some of the female posters here...well, sometimes people give answers that are politically correct. Having dated attractive men (sometimes semi pro or pro athletes), I can tell you first hand women do care about looks. Back in the day things moved more slowly as far as sex. Nowadays things turn sexual very quickly. You'll have to figure out on your own tolerances as far as sex. Are you willing to date that guy who is less attractive but might be nice? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 You do realize that 1 relationship at 22 is par by course for many people, right? I really don't think that you're unusual in that regard. As for not finding many people attractive, I'm the same way. I'm 8 years older than you and I can count the number of people I was significantly attracted to on one hand. I'm also engaged to a man whom I love and am extremely attracted to, even after being together for years. I don't think that being attracted to fewer people is a bad thing, IF your attraction criteria overlaps strongly with the traits you'll need to sustain a happy LTR anyway. I personally found it very beneficial to be able to filter out guys early on, because IMO quantity can make you waste a lot of time with incompatible people. I REALLY think you'll be just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike800 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Why do you think you're not attracted to most men? . I feel like some of the female posters here...well, sometimes people give answers that are politically correct. Having dated attractive men (sometimes semi pro or pro athletes), I can tell you first hand women do care about looks. Or maybe they actually meant what they said because not every single women thinks exactly the same or prioritizes the same things. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Well, anyways op, we are going through something similar. I've tried to date men I wasn't attracted to, and they'd get sexual very quickly. That heightens the temptation for me to go with the more attractive guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiCrunchy Posted February 27, 2018 Author Share Posted February 27, 2018 Why do you think you're not attracted to most men? If you're not attracted to most men strictly on a physical level, that's normal. Most men aren't the physical type to elicit raw sexual responses. Straight men also have higher bmis than gay men. I feel like some of the female posters here...well, sometimes people give answers that are politically correct. Having dated attractive men (sometimes semi pro or pro athletes), I can tell you first hand women do care about looks. Back in the day things moved more slowly as far as sex. Nowadays things turn sexual very quickly. You'll have to figure out on your own tolerances as far as sex. Are you willing to date that guy who is less attractive but might be nice? Yes, strictly on a physical level. In terms of personality, if I like you as a person that doesn't mean that I want to have sex with them. What separates the line of "close friends" vs. "more than friends"? Being physically attracted to the other person. I find that your post rings very true and I feel that same way. To answer your last question, yes maybe I could. But I am not attracted to him, I feel like our sex life would suffer a lot. I think it would honestly lead to dead bedroom. It would also probably hurt that person's self esteem if I didn't want to be intimate with them like they deserve in a loving relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiCrunchy Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 You're young. I dated my first boyfriend at 23! Hehe I personally was a late bloomer. Only recently, at 26, have I started finding more guys attractive. Before, it was so very very rare! Don't rush yourself! Just meet new people and don't push yourself into physical relations if you don't find yourself attracted. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 I truly believe Hicrunchy will find her Japanese or Korean unicorn one of these days Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 I answered you before to your initial question but you completely ignored my response, so I will try again. I wonder just how much time is supposed to pass until I feel "moved on" or if that is something that will never happen. As much time until you fall in love with someone new. I think it works like that for some people. I always have a certain type (the person I am dating at a time), and then when it's over, I tend to find men attractive who looks similar or have similar features/mannerisms. It's normal. Often, I then, when I least expect it, meet someone and fall for them and all of a sudden realize I have a new type.... old type will be completely irrelevant then. Jup. I never got over a guy whilst being single post-break up. I only got over them once I fell in love anew. That can happen after 3 months, it can also happen after 2 years. To me, I only start new when I fall in love again. That being said, I am completely DEMI-SEXUAL. I can only be sexually attracted to a person if I already am falling for them. That's why i never fantasize about hot dudes or celebrities. I am not sexually attracted to anyone but my partner. That's really just how it is for some people. Personally, I like it that way. I know what I want and there is no confusion. You should be happy to be a, mostly, demi-sexual person! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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