Waking up at 5am everyday to avoid my parents?

[HiCrunchy]

As the title of this thread states. I am going to start waking up at 5 am everyday so that I can avoid my parents, while going to bed around 8:45 pm.

 

I work from 9 to 5 pm, I leave the house at 8am.

This means after work and school I only have to have contact with them from 5:30p to 8:45p every monday to saturday. And all day sunday.

 

They are mentally exhausting to be around for details I do not wish to get into. I know that they love me very much but there are times where I have mental break downs being with them.

 

I have called the suicide hotline twice since I have moved back in with them after graduating college (4 months) and I do not make enough money to get my own place yet so I think this will give me the space and alone time that I need without actively ignoring them in our small nyc apartment.

We are so poor I have to sleep in the same bed as my mother so even as a 22 year old, I have no friends, relationship, or personal space. I feel overwhelmed.

 

Is this a good idea?

[d0nnivain]

Sleep on the floor rather than in a bed with your mother. At 22 routine bed sharing between a mom & an adult son is odd.

 

If your goal really is to move out, consider getting a second part time job. It will keep you out of the house more & make you additional money. If you work 9-5 even if you get a fast food job from 5 pm to 9 pm & bank all that money you can be on your own faster.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Sleep on the floor rather than in a bed with your mother. At 22 routine bed sharing between a mom & an adult son is odd.

 

If your goal really is to move out, consider getting a second part time job. It will keep you out of the house more & make you additional money. If you work 9-5 even if you get a fast food job from 5 pm to 9 pm & bank all that money you can be on your own faster.

 

I think OP is a woman.

 

Instead of going home every night, either get another job as d0nnivain suggested, or go to a coffee shop with WiFi.....

[BaileyB]

Or consider getting a job and moving somewhere where the cost of living is not so high... A little distance and a more affordable cost of living may solve your problems.

[HiCrunchy]

I think OP is a woman.

 

Instead of going home every night, either get another job as d0nnivain suggested, or go to a coffee shop with WiFi.....

 

Yes I am a woman actually. My father has decided he will sleep on an air mattress instead and he let me have his side of the bed.

 

I think this has to do with the fact that I'm female.

 

I used to have bunk bed I shared with my sister growing up. I grew up in a one bedroom apartment and had to share a room with my parents and sister. We lost in in the fire.

 

 

My parents love me a lot, they are just not the best thing for me to be constantly around just for my emotional health.

 

Considering how strict my parents are, and how I am in very close quarter boundaries go out the window. (They like to dictate when I come home, who I am with and my mother even hates that I lock the bathroom door)

 

Staying out till 9 pm will cause them more grief and fights. That is not something I want to happen, especially since I am dependent on them.

 

Even when if I would go out with friends I get 20 questions and if I am not home by 7pm, they think the worst has happened.

Right now I do not have any friends in the city, so they haven't had to worry about that like they do when my sister comes back from university.

 

I think waking up early is my best bet. They can't raise eyebrows if I am in the house.

 

Plus I am a part time student so getting another job on top of that is exhausting.

It also took me a long time to get this job since I was a new graduate, the job market is tough and people don't really want to give you a chance if you don't have any experience. I don't really want to leave the job I started just a month ago.

 

I am going to save money and see if I can rent a room when I have enough for a deposit.

Edited September 5, 2017 by HiCrunchy
Better organization

[HiCrunchy]

Or consider getting a job and moving somewhere where the cost of living is not so high... A little distance and a more affordable cost of living may solve your problems.

 

Yes, I wasn't actually planning on moving back home, but getting a job after graduating was so hard that I took the first position that would hire me.

[BettyDraper]

Maybe you can reduce your course load and get another job?

Failing that, move to an area with low cost of living or find a couple of friends and share an apartment with them.

 

Your parents have serious boundary and control issues. When you're ready to leave home, be prepared for them to lay on the guilt and manipulation. Anyone would start to feel less emotionally stable in the environment you're describing.

[HiCrunchy]

Maybe you can reduce your course load and get another job?

Failing that, move to an area with low cost of living or find a couple of friends and share an apartment with them.

 

Your parents have serious boundary and control issues. When you're ready to leave home, be prepared for them to lay on the guilt and manipulation. Anyone would start to feel less emotionally stable in the environment you're describing.

 

I do not have friends right now, and the ones I have from university do not live in nyc.

 

I can't leave the job I just got since it was the only one that would hire me.

I started this a month ago.

 

I am saving some money so that I can move out although I think my parents will be very sad if I leave.

I haven't told my father I am thinking of moving out, tho my mother knows.

I think they can't come to terms with the fact that I am growing up.

 

My mother has no friends, and shut out all the people who could have been her friends out. She doesn't believe in friends and think that they only use you. (She only has 4 contacts on her phone, all family and since she is on disability she can't work or even chat with co-workers). I was and still am her whole "purpose" in life. I have tried to get her motivated or see a doctor but in her words she just wants to go to heaven and is ready to die.

 

My dad really was a ghost when we were growing up and I think he feels gulit now that my sister and I are grown up and potentially leaving (he had a fit when I was going away to college, but since I got a 4 year scholarship he couldn't argue with me). When he wasn't a ghost he was drunk and financially irresponsible. (Hence being in the 1 bedroom apartment till I was 18)

 

He wants to make up for lost time, but honestly I am not really interested.

 

I just want to leave. I love them very much, and I hate to break heart their hearts but they drive me crazy and trigger my anxiety and depression. (This is not been diagnosed by a doctor, Its more of a description of what I am feeling). I liked having the freedom to only visit them when I was coming back from university but being with them for such long periods of time is making me lose my marbles.

Edited September 5, 2017 by HiCrunchy

[d0nnivain]

NYC is a HCOL area. You say you graduated & have a FT job, the only one you could get but you are back in school PT. Give up the PT school in favor of a PT job. You need the money not a graduate degree. When you get your own place & presumably have a different job or are earning more money, then you may be able to convince your new (or even this) employer to pay for the graduate degree.