ACarter Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 For 8 months I have been waiting for my ex girlfriend to come back to me. She is the love of my life and I am the love of her life and we both agree on that. She has been dating another guy for 6 months but always with plans to come back eventually. He ended up being a huge *******. He's never there for her and I end up being there in his place. Finally she was about to break up with him. They were camping and she puked and he didn't even ask if she was okay he just took her home and went back. She called me saying she was depressed so I went over to be there for her. I ended up taking her to get a pregnancy test because she was late. Everyone was sure that she couldn't get pregnant because of past medical issues, but sure enough it came up positive. Her boyfriend had been trying for months to get her pregnant without her consent and now he succeeded. The problem comes down to what she's going to do. She's absolutely in love with me and wanted me back and she can't stand him and he's never there for her but now she's carrying his child. We're both 17, in our senior year of high school and her boyfriend is 18. I have no problem taking care of her and the baby but I think that she will feel obligated to stay with him because of this. She won't listen to talk about abortion because she thinks it will mess up her chances of having kids in the future (please don't turn this into an abortion debate). I'm not sure what to do or how to help her not be trapped by this. She said he probably won't be there for her so she'll come back to me, but knowing her I think she'll just take the abuse. I'm not sure what to do or think so any advice will be helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 I think you've got all this very muddled. Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. She chose to be with him. She is not forced to be with him. If she has become pregnant as a result of having sex with this guy, then that is her problem not yours. The more you hang around trying to 'save' her from her very real desires to be with him, the more she will take you for granted and disrespect you. You need to accept that she is in charge of her life, not a victim of it. She had made decisions which have hurt you. She wanted to be with the guy. Leave her to it. Stop being the guy she runs to when she is in a mess. She will just use you as and when she is in trouble. Why do you want to accept so little from this woman? If you respect yourself, step aside and let her sort her own messes out. Find yourself a girlfriend who respects you and wants to be with you, not some other guy. Give up on thinking you can save her from herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
froggymom Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Please stop and talk about this situation with people who love you and care about you. It sounds like you are responding from a completely emotional place. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do you have a parent or relative, pastor ,priest you can talk to? Perhaps you and your girlfriend can seek some counseling separately to give each of you the guidance needed at this time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 For 8 months I have been waiting for my ex girlfriend to come back to me. She is the love of my life and I am the love of her life and we both agree on that. She has been dating another guy for 6 months but always with plans to come back eventually. He ended up being a huge *******. He's never there for her and I end up being there in his place. Finally she was about to break up with him. They were camping and she puked and he didn't even ask if she was okay he just took her home and went back. She called me saying she was depressed so I went over to be there for her. I ended up taking her to get a pregnancy test because she was late. Everyone was sure that she couldn't get pregnant because of past medical issues, but sure enough it came up positive. Her boyfriend had been trying for months to get her pregnant without her consent and now he succeeded. The problem comes down to what she's going to do. She's absolutely in love with me and wanted me back and she can't stand him and he's never there for her but now she's carrying his child. We're both 17, in our senior year of high school and her boyfriend is 18. I have no problem taking care of her and the baby but I think that she will feel obligated to stay with him because of this. She won't listen to talk about abortion because she thinks it will mess up her chances of having kids in the future (please don't turn this into an abortion debate). I'm not sure what to do or how to help her not be trapped by this. She said he probably won't be there for her so she'll come back to me, but knowing her I think she'll just take the abuse. I'm not sure what to do or think so any advice will be helpful. Honey. Honey. You are not an adult yet. You are not equipped to deal with this situation. Neither is she. She is not your girlfriend, your child, or your responsibility. What she is right now is your ex and kind of your friend. Nothing more. You can listen to her. You can provide emotional support. You should NOT be panicking and trying to make plans about supporting her for the rest of her life. Whether to keep the baby or not is her choice. Whether to stay with this guy or not is her choice. You need to step back. You can help her best by finding resources for her to help herself, rather than by trying to 'save' her yourself. DO NOT propose marriage to this girl and promise to take care of her for the rest of your life. Neither one of you is ready for that kind of thing. Stupid decisions made in haste lead to a lot more pain in the long run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Spider has it.... Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. and Your ex would not be with another guy if you were the love of her life. Sometimes life is not that complicated, may be hard to deal with but this is just common sense. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Honestly that part I can believe, these kids are just 17, it's totally possible for them to date other people and get back together and decide they're the love of each other's lives. It's just, y'know, don't make that decisions NOW while you're in a huge panic and everything seems super dramatic and desperate. If she's the love of your life she'll still be the love of your life next year when she's got her crap sorted out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts