Setback

[Bbz106]

So I've been doing ok. Distancing myself at work and trying my best to avoid him. Then casually talking to someone they mentioned how he was doing so and so with his W. That hurt a lot. I obviously know he's with her but it brought me back. He was separated and started pursuing me during that time. I had feelings for him and he reconciled with her. Shortly after he reconciled he tried sleeping with me and I would not. We had never before. It was more an emotional thing. He apologized after and pretty much said NC and that he told her about it. I thought the feelings were mutual at the time and it was very difficult. It still is at times. I've been doing my best to stay away, but keep hearing about him urgh!

[Maddieandtae]

I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to work with some one who the relationship has ended with. It seems to me though that an affair situation would be doubly hard.

 

I think you'll need to make yourself busy if a mutual acquaintance makes reference to the married man. Have a sudden 'oh I need to do so and so, talk later'.

 

He reconciled with his wife, he really wasn't emotionally or physically emotionally available when separated and I'm glad for you that you didn't sleep with him. Bonding on an intimate level sexually would have been even harder on you.

 

Take care of you:)

[Hbroken]

So I've been doing ok. Distancing myself at work and trying my best to avoid him. Then casually talking to someone they mentioned how he was doing so and so with his W. That hurt a lot. I obviously know he's with her but it brought me back. He was separated and started pursuing me during that time. I had feelings for him and he reconciled with her. Shortly after he reconciled he tried sleeping with me and I would not. We had never before. It was more an emotional thing. He apologized after and pretty much said NC and that he told her about it. I thought the feelings were mutual at the time and it was very difficult. It still is at times. I've been doing my best to stay away, but keep hearing about him urgh!

 

if it makes you feel any better, I am in the same boat. MM having an EA and PA affair with a coworker for 5y. No future faking. She broke up with her partner who she was with during the affair and then wanted me to leave my family. I didn't so she broke up. Now I have to face her almost daily at work. Sometimes she will come and talk to me as if we are friends..sometimes she will make me feel like I am the most awkward person to be around! sometimes she will ignore me totally.I try and maintain a silent stance...but by god its hard!!! You end up overanalysing everything and it goes round and round in your head... I think I will have to leave jobs otherwise I just can't see how this will stop!

[FoundMyStrength]

I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to work with some one who the relationship has ended with. It seems to me though that an affair situation would be doubly hard.

 

I think you'll need to make yourself busy if a mutual acquaintance makes reference to the married man. Have a sudden 'oh I need to do so and so, talk later'.

 

I second this. I had a mutual acquaintance who would randomly bring up tidbits about his life, his marriage, his wife, and occasionally ask why I no longer talked with him. This acquaintance and I mostly texted, so it was really effective to just make up an "oh I have to go" excuse. I can't see why it wouldn't work over the phone or in person as well. You might need to be a little more creative, but it's better than hearing the latest and greatest about xMM and his life with the wife.

[Methodical]

If this mutual acquaintance knows the score, tell him/her that ship has sailed. You mutually agreed to NC and discussing his personal life breaches that agreement.

[Doublegold]

"He apologized after and pretty much said NC and that he told her about it."

 

Highly doubtful.