J.LO Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 I can't stop thinging of this guy! He's always on my mind..and I can't seem to let him go. If you dream of someone..does it mean anything? Some people say that dreams that keep reoccuring are telling you something. I really dont know what to do because i've liked this guy for a long time. My friends hate him. But i dont care what my friends say. What can I do? I can't get him off my mind! It's been 2 years! He doesnt even talk to me ..most of the time he ignores me..and then of course it seems like a little game we play. It's been way too long though now. We cant keep playing these games! Is there away that when you love someone alot that you can get over them? And what are some things you can do to help yourself get over that person? Thanks soo much!!!~ Jennifer!!~ Link to post Share on other sites
SimoneHollywood Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 How much do you trust your friends? how come they don't like him. There must be a reason and you should care. I say it's time to move on. The pain will go away, believe me, I've been there. Simone Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted August 14, 2005 Author Share Posted August 14, 2005 Well, my friends can't be totally trusted because they one of my friends would do anything to get with the guy she likes and my other friend always ditches us for her boyfriend. They dont like him because they think hes a snob and an a**h***...but they dont know him like i do. All guys have a bad side..grumpy...imean. And why should i care what they say if they ditch me and say stuff about him all the time? The thing is i really do want to move on. It's soo hard too do! I have never realized that until now. jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
snailz Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 Have you ever really told this guy how you feel about him? if you both play games and have been doing for 2years maybe it does mean something, but playing games isnt the way to go about things, i think before you can move on you will always have to know if there was a chance you could have been together, otherwise there will always be a small doubt in your mind. does that make any sense? If you found out he liked you- would you still want to move on? or do you want to move on because you are worried he doesnt like you? confusing as it is- ive been there before - i think you would feel better if you had some kind of reaction from him, if its good or bad, at least you will find out where you stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 yes..he knows that i like him. Alot of ppl told him..the ppl that dont like me(yet i dont know why)... and he heard it from me one day too. But he always hinted to me things too..like..you should tell someone when you like them..and similar things like that. And you're right i cant move on until i know for sure. But i just saw him not to long ago..and he wouldnt speak to me. I dont understand. He was with his friends..and i was with mine. The only time him and i really get to talk is if ..we're alone. Other ppl are always trying to interfrere with my life and his..and the girls that always try and put me down..do the same to him..but they say things too(not nice things) I dont know what to do anymore...i really want to know from him if he likes me..but hes really into this game thing..but it only envoles me. It's always me. But why? Does he like me? And if he does why wouldnt he just tell me? It's been soo long. The games are getting old. i know i would feel better knowing then not knowing..but his friends are the kind of ppl that would spread romours about me and so would the other girls that dislike me..so i dont know how to tell him. And what if this year i dont get to talk to him alone at all? Then that idea is gone. I wish there was a way..... thanks, jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 And by 2 of his close friends...they told me that i liked him. And also, one of the friends said it right in front of the guy i like himself..so...and he didnt say no..but he went all shy and tried to hide his face..he kept his head down the whole time. Anyways thanks again! jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
snailz Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Why dont these girls like you? they should stay out of your business!! but hopefully if this guy knows you for 'you' he wont take any notice of what they are saying. I was in a situation like this a while ago, well its actually been a year and a half we broke up 2 months ago (sob), one day i got up and thought, why are we playing games with each other?? so the next time i saw him, i went over flirted a bit and he flirted back, i never actually told him how i felt but i made it clear i liked him, then left, then he came to me, i think sometimes people need a clear sign, if you have already given him full on signals you like him and he still hasnt responded, it could be because of two reasons: 1) he's a coward and is waiting for you to spell it out incase he gets rejected 2) he doesnt like you in that way (sorry i dont mean it harsh) You could be really brave, pluck up some courage and next time you see him tell him you like him, maybe not just blurt it out but let him know you like him, then he's heard it from you and not everyone else, by the sounds of it too many people are interfering and getting involved, this is not good because people say things and it gets mixed up. I know that telling him isnt going to be easy, believe me i do know how scary that can be, but if you dont do it and he doesnt do it, then you will still be in the same situation forever. Maybe invite him out for a drink, something casual? Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 To tell you the truth i dont know why the girls dont like me...we were friends before awhile down the road and they are really preppy and they like to make you dress the same as them. They also steal eachothers boyfriends..and talk about each other behind one anothers back.(iam soo glad i got out of there) They started not talking to me because i talked to these other ppl ..which are my friends now...and ever since then..they hate me. They wanted me to feel down when they ignored me..but it didnt work. They only want you to talk to them. Anyways...the guy.... I would love to beable to say i like him..and you're right, thats probably what i will have to do in the end. I won't be able to move on unless i do so. And trying to move to another guy ..honestly doesnt work! Iam sorry about you and you're boyfriend. Sometimes i just think why bother for us girls to like some ''player'', that seems to always break your heart and make you cry. I probably can and will talk to him sometime soon alone and i know that if he talks or ignores me one of these days i will say something. I have to anyways. Thankyou sooo much with all your help..the only thing to fear now is the fact that he may go on saying nothing...or i dont think he would say something snobby. Then again what am i supposed to do if he actually says he likes me and then we are speechless. Anyways thanks soo much! you have been a great help! Link to post Share on other sites
Max Overclock Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Jennifer, It is likely that the only way that you will ever get closure (one way or the other) on this is to break the silence that has existed between the both of you. It's clear that there were some issues that you need to discuss together. Sometimes, all it takes is to walk up to him and gently say, "Hi. Hey, could I have a few minutes of your time? I know it's been a long time since we chatted, and I can't stand this silence/awkwardness between us. I'd like for us to talk." Find a relatively conversation-friendly environment that is on neutral ground for you both. Most of all be open and genuine. Before you decide to talk to him though, you really will need to ask yourself some questions: 1. What are my true feelings for him? Are those feelings just a desire for friendship with him or, in reality, is there more than merely a desire to be his friend in my heart? 2. Am I willing to be completely honest and forthcoming with him? In other words, can I be very open and candid about how I feel for him, and how I feel our situation has led us to where we now are? 3. If the problems between us can be fixed, will I be able to help do what is needed to ensure that we do not fall into a kind of "gaming mentality" again, where awkwardness and silence grow between us? Most of all, can I deal with him on an equal footing from here on in? 3. Will I be able to face any questions, commentary, or criticisms that he may have about what happened between the two of us, and tackle any problem issues as needed, in an effort to repair any damaged emotions? 4. Am I willing to face the criticism of my friends and/or family if he and I decided to give a closer/romantic relationship a try? Can I keep our relationship most important, before the devices and desires of my friends? 5. If we both want to be more to each other, but we need time to sort through feelings or concerns about any relationship we may wish to have, am I willing to allow time for us both to decide where we want to go with that relationship? (In the event that either should have uncertainty or reservations) 6. Can I deal with the possibility that he may not feel for me, the way I do for him? Can I accept this, and move on with no hard feelings? 7. What can I learn from this situation that I can carry with me into the future? What lessons does it contain? In general, much like snailz said, I believe that when too many people become involved in a situation, nothing but confusion and mistrust can result. People consistently confuse the details of situations between couples, mishear and misinterpret what they do hear correctly, and sometimes make up stuff that just plain wasn't said and doesn't happen. Sometimes these things are almost done subconsciously, without real thought. You need to talk to him by yourself, without any friends' influences. How can friends truly understand what has gone on between you both, anyway? They all see things through their own particular set of lenses, which may be a far cry from what your outlook on the world is. He was definitely right on one point though. Two people should be able to tell each other that they care. Would you be able to face never knowing how he feels (or even felt?) Aren't any answers you can give each other going to be better than the stone silence that you have now? Even if he doesn't care anymore in the way he did, wouldn't it be best for you both to have some closure in this chapter of your lives, and be able to move onward more sure of your heart and mind? Give us your thoughts hunn. Max Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 Thanks for all of your help!!! The questions that you said were also very helpful. I now know exactly what i have to do. But what if my feelings for him end up changing and i dont like him and he likes me..i feel soo bad! i guess i'll just say it nicely..thanks again soooo much! Link to post Share on other sites
snailz Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 hey dont feel bad, i know its bad in a way but you have to think about your own happiness, let us know what happens, hopefully it will work out, i saw my ex last night (the one i was playing games with that i told you about in a previous post) he was totally hanging around me, making himself be seen, hehe, im quite enjoying the games at the moment- and yes i know- ill quote myself here """playing games isnt the way to go about things""" but i love the thrill of the chase sometimes. I honestly do think you need to let your guy know though, stay in touch x Link to post Share on other sites
Max Overclock Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by J.LO Thanks for all of your help!!! The questions that you said were also very helpful. I now know exactly what i have to do. But what if my feelings for him end up changing and i dont like him and he likes me..i feel soo bad! i guess i'll just say it nicely..thanks again soooo much! You're very welcome Jennifer. As far as what to do if your feelings end up changing in the future, I would not worry too much about that as of yet. You first need to talk with him, discuss, and see where you both stand in all this. In fact, when you discuss things, you might even want to mention what you wrote above to him. That way, you would be meeting him on a very honest, forthcoming level. It would also allow you to get those feelings out in the open, and would give you both the opportunity to discuss how to deal with the situation, should it occur somewhere "down the road." (That is, if you both choose to start a closer/romantic relationship.) All the best, no matter what happens. Keep us informed. Link to post Share on other sites
Max Overclock Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I wonder if she ever did decide what to do? You out there J.Lo? Max Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Sometimes we fixate on people we cant have because we are afraid to get into an actual relationship. Have you had any real relationships in the past two years. To me this guy dosnt sound interested in the least, and the only person playing games is you with yourself. I mean look at your initial post, he wont even talk to you. He only talks to you if no one else it around. Which means you are on the bottom of the his list of things to do. So do yourself a favor, and move on from this guy. Sticking around will only cause you misery(which is one of the highest forms of narcassism.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author J.LO Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Sorry..everyone wants to kno the details...soo... iam still trying to get over him. And i told him and we talked. Well..he stopped talkin to me after the fact that i told him i liked him. And the thing is what made me really mad when i told him this was that he said '' why do u wanna kno if i would like u or we could be'...and then i said most ppl ask that question if they like u..and then our convo kind of ended..he said ohh..and thats pretty much it. The thing is a few weeks later...he starts to talk to me. He compliments me now...and seems to be everywhere i go...he still watches..cuz my friends see it....and i really dont know what to do. I try and let him go..but hes coming back. I really dont kno what he feels..like did he lie or did he tell the truth..cuz he told me no. But the way he acts speaks differently..unless iam reading his signs wrong. He doesnt make much sense... To tell you the truth i sometimes wish i never liked him then i wouldnt be in this situation. It's hard to make myself not like him. I tried liking someone else but we didnt workout.. So..thats the scoop so far..tell me what you think now please..cuz iam not doin so good. thanks again! Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
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