I want to get my Girlfriend back

[spiderowl]

Who broke up with who and why exactly? It is not clear from what you said.

 

Was she very upset at the break-up?

 

If you broke up with her, what reasons did you give her for the break-up?

 

If she broke up with you, what reasons did she give you?

 

I know you care about her but you seem very judgemental about her friends. If you try telling her what to do and what friends to have, she is going to think you are bossing her about.

 

For whatever reason, she is pushing you away now. Unless you want to come across as needy and a pest, you need to stay away from her and not try to contact her. Give her the space to think about whether she misses you or not.

 

If you speak to anyone about her, say only good things and about how much you respect her. Word gets back. If she hears that you are saying nice things about her and you are not bothering her, she may decide to open up channels of communication. It could take a while though. In the meantime, do positive things with your life and avoid criticising her friends (as that will get back to her too).

 

I think if the break-up was due to you messing about and acting immature, then the thing to do now is to be mature and be the kind of guy a woman would look up to. Even if she does not pick up on the mature you via the grapevine, some other women is likely to sit up and take notice of the more positive and responsible character you are becoming. Start with improving your own attitude and behaviour and hopefully good things will follow.

[JohnStastys]

Who broke up with who and why exactly? It is not clear from what you said.

 

Was she very upset at the break-up?

 

If you broke up with her, what reasons did you give her for the break-up?

 

If she broke up with you, what reasons did she give you?

 

I know you care about her but you seem very judgemental about her friends. If you try telling her what to do and what friends to have, she is going to think you are bossing her about.

 

For whatever reason, she is pushing you away now. Unless you want to come across as needy and a pest, you need to stay away from her and not try to contact her. Give her the space to think about whether she misses you or not.

 

If you speak to anyone about her, say only good things and about how much you respect her. Word gets back. If she hears that you are saying nice things about her and you are not bothering her, she may decide to open up channels of communication. It could take a while though. In the meantime, do positive things with your life and avoid criticising her friends (as that will get back to her too).

 

I think if the break-up was due to you messing about and acting immature, then the thing to do now is to be mature and be the kind of guy a woman would look up to. Even if she does not pick up on the mature you via the grapevine, some other women is likely to sit up and take notice of the more positive and responsible character you are becoming. Start with improving your own attitude and behaviour and hopefully good things will follow.

 

thank you so much for your advice

We had this small argument where she really hurt me in a way and she was trying to apoligize and i was ignoring her but she was telling me how words dont really mean anything and all that stuff, to make this story short she cough ringworm from a kitten she picked up from a street and later i got it too because of her and we couldnt really hangout and meet in person because i was busy with school and she was working plus ringworms spread easily so we were kinda breaking up since we couldnt see each other, anyways one day i was very angry in fact i told her that i never get angry and if i do and i tell her something stupid, i told her to ignrome me because thats not me in that moment, so it was that time when she hurt me with her words and i was ignoring her and that day my parents were arguing with me so i was very upset and angry and when she texted me i put all my anger on her and by the way i hate texting i feel like im too cold when i text and stuff but anyways i called her devil and how she is bad at communcating with people. Of course i didnt mean it i also told her to block me everywhere, i seriouslu didnt mean it but she did, i tried to apoligize to her since that day i was using my friends phones and all that stupid thing, next day i gave her flowers and she unblocked me on my phone but she was telling me how it is too late and i was just apoligizing again and again, after that i havent seen and spoken to her for a month, i could have goten back wiht her if i acted right but the day i saw her at the medical office i was shocked, i knew i really loved her but again i was trying to apoligize and tried to be needy, i wasnt never needy person in my life, never its just she was my first girlfriend and i didnt know how to act, she was right in one thing, i did acted like a child and i think even this day she calls me childish, Like you said im not gonna text her anymore or anything because its pointless i seriously dont want to be creepy and needy person, and thank you again for you advice ))

[JohnStastys]

Im going to try to make this short but what happened was that i broke up with my girlfriend 5 month ago and it was very painful thing ever, maybe because she was my first love i guess but anyways. After i broke up i tried to get back with her she was really done with me even though we broke up because of stupid thing, we were just having argument while we were texting, i tried to apoligize for everything, i never cheated on her or did anything bad but i guess she was dissapointed in me, since she was my first girlfriend i didnt know much so i guess i wasnt giving her too much attention and all of that, anyways i tried to get back with her i tried everyhing my friend tryied to talk to her, i tried talking to her but she doesnt wants to see me at all or hear my name, she has me blocked everywhere, except on snapchat but she blocked me there too last week because the day we broke up next day as an apology i gave her flowers and 2 of my drawings, so last week i wanted to get all of my drawings together so i asked her on snapchat " I want 2 of my drawing back and the portrait of yours that i gave you on your birthday you can keep that" so i was kinda upset because there were times when i didnt spoke to her for like 2 weeks even month i wasnt really bothering her or anything guys its just i was trying to have a normal conversation with her but the thing is her best friends hates me very much and my ex belived her at everything. Whatever happened happened and life moves on, when i texted her that on spanchat she left me on seen and then blocked me after that i got kind aangry and i told my friend to messege her and she was telling him that she didnt have them anymore and she said she burned them, when i read this i got very angry because it was just very disrespectfull to me especialluy i love all of my drawings, and then i took his phone and texted her this "just like your ex boyfriend burned your shoes and pi$sed on them right? learn from your ex" she got very angry and told me to suck a D1ck and how i am so pathetic and childish and how i cant move on, i understand i moved on i have no problem but the thing is i dont like how we are having this conflict, i just dont want to leave her there like hey whatever i hurt your feelings but f***** it, i dont want to be that kind of guy and im not so i want it to be right, i was thinking about giving her a drawing of her dog on this new years or maybe even on her birthday which is on february, like i said whatever happened happened i have nothing but positive things to say evern though i feel like i was betrayed in many was; for example how she was saying how she felt different about me and how she really cared, but if she really did care about me that much she would talk to me and not ignore me like im some type of dog. I hope you guys understand )

[PegNosePete]

She has made it very clear that she doesn't want to have any kind of friendship or relationship with you ever again.

 

You need to just stop harassing her and leave her alone. Otherwise you will find yourself with a restraining order or arrested for harassment.

[Space Ritual]

Move on, leave her alone, and realize this is only the beginning of a lifetime of ebb and flow, of triumph and disappointment, that each of us have when dealing with matters of the heart.

 

Learn from it and apply what you have learned from this experience into your next relationship.

[Darren Steez]

Women want stable men. Strong men. Yes get into disagreements it's normal but when you break up whether over trivial things or big things, you're making a statement saying it's over, I'm done, then when you switch and say you've changed your mind it makes you look even weaker, even weaker yet is being told to back off and not respecting her wishes. What kind of a person says one thing, does another then refuses to listen when being told what to do?

[preraph]

The most insulting thing I saw in your post is how you are blaming her friend for this, as if she doesn't have a brain of her own and couldn't possibly find it in herself to dump you. You may want to believe that, but it's not true. She's been loud and clear she's done with you. Stop harassing her. Move on like a healthy human being. Anything else you do will only make you more pathetic in her eyes. Stop and walk away with whatever dignity you have left. Women usually give men the benefit of the doubt as long as they can, but once they see the real you and don't like it, you'll get nowhere saying to yourself if she ever loved me. She loved you a little before she got to know you. now she hates you.

[SammySammy]

One of my female friends on FaceBook just posted:

 

What's up with these tender men? Mercy.

[hgriffin17]

Yeah Bro, I'm all for "fighting for your love " but it seems like you both started a fire that will forever burn. How old are you? If you're young, then your behavior makes sense.

 

But look, take it from a guy who's dated many people, whatever you and her had between you is pretty much over. I would have said this a while ago, but my final words for her would have been,

 

Though I am not in agreement with breaking up, I will respect your wishes. I love you very much and wanted this to work out with you. Know that if you ever change your mind, you know I'm one call away.

 

Then leave, move on & go NC.

 

I get it. It's hard. This isn't like most girls. Why? Because you didn't just like her, you loved her. But if she wants space, you need to give it to her. The hardest lesson I ever learned was that sometimes I needed to let go of the people I loved the most. It wasnt because I gave up on them. I just had the confidence that one day they'd return. But until then, I must move on. And So should you. Give it a month and you'll look back differently. Trust me, it only gets better from here.

[JohnStastys]

yeah im only 18, i dont talk to her or anything not even annoying her i understand i became little bit crazy when she didnt wanted to talk to me and i relized that, i was being very needy and desperate. I just didnt really understand how could someone tell you that they really care about you and then next thing you know she doesnt even want to hear your name, the thing is after we broke up 3 days later i met her and we had this conversation and she told me how i wasnt ready and she doesnt want to date me, even though how she told me "i really care about you but i dont want to date you" i guess right now it doesnt make sense and it doesnt really bothers me as much as it did 5 month ago. )

[d0nnivain]

Teenagers of both genders are driven by hormones & the need to fit in. There are social pressures from the media. As people go through their teenaged years, they learn & grow. Sometimes it's not so pretty.

 

 

One of the things you have to understand is that when you give a gift -- like the drawings -- they belong to the recipient, your EX. She is then free to do whatever she wants with her property, including burn them out of spite. I'm sorry she did that to art that was so precious to you but she was within her rights. Going forward at least take photos of art you plan to give away so there will always be some record.

 

 

N.B. When her EX urinated on her shoes & burned them, he committed a crime. Her shoes were not his property & he was not permitted to destroy them.

 

 

Do you see the difference?

 

 

Draw the picture of her dog if doing so will make you feel better but do not give the picture to her. She will not come around. The picture will not make her calm down or soothe all the hurt between you. It will probably cause her to have the same destructive rage & then she will have trashed 3 of your drawings.

 

 

She does not want to hear from you now & she will not want to hear from you in December or for her birthday in February. Deep down, you don't really just want to soothe her, you want her back. The drawing is a ploy. It's a way you think to worm your way back into her life. Based on her response to the flowers & the last two drawings it won't work. Don't waste the effort.

 

 

Instead, take some time to heal. Channel some of your pain into your art. When you feel better & get a new GF, draw a picture of her dog.

[JohnStastys]

Teenagers of both genders are driven by hormones & the need to fit in. There are social pressures from the media. As people go through their teenaged years, they learn & grow. Sometimes it's not so pretty.

 

 

One of the things you have to understand is that when you give a gift -- like the drawings -- they belong to the recipient, your EX. She is then free to do whatever she wants with her property, including burn them out of spite. I'm sorry she did that to art that was so precious to you but she was within her rights. Going forward at least take photos of art you plan to give away so there will always be some record.

 

 

N.B. When her EX urinated on her shoes & burned them, he committed a crime. Her shoes were not his property & he was not permitted to destroy them.

 

 

Do you see the difference?

 

 

Draw the picture of her dog if doing so will make you feel better but do not give the picture to her. She will not come around. The picture will not make her calm down or soothe all the hurt between you. It will probably cause her to have the same destructive rage & then she will have trashed 3 of your drawings.

 

 

She does not want to hear from you now & she will not want to hear from you in December or for her birthday in February. Deep down, you don't really just want to soothe her, you want her back. The drawing is a ploy. It's a way you think to worm your way back into her life. Based on her response to the flowers & the last two drawings it won't work. Don't waste the effort.

 

 

Instead, take some time to heal. Channel some of your pain into your art. When you feel better & get a new GF, draw a picture of her dog.

 

So I should just completely forget about her and dont send her friend request on facebook or anything at all, and just move on completely?

[d0nnivain]

So I should just completely forget about her and dont send her friend request on facebook or anything at all, and just move on completely?

 

 

Yes you should be completely done with her. Do not connect on social media or any other platform. Be polite (but cold) if you bump into each other but live your life as though she doesn't exist.

[preraph]

She liked you until she got to see more of you and then she didn't like you. Dating is for finding out who a person is. Most people give the person the benefit of the doubt until they do something unacceptable. Now that she knows more of you, she doesn't like you anymore. You have your whole life ahead of you and there's a billion women out there. Learn that you can get and keep more women if you don't act out and do bad things.

[JohnStastys]

Since the day we broke up she blocked me on every social media because she was very angry with me even though i apologized so many times, i didnt cheat on her or anything it was a super argument over a texting so it wasnt serious but what because worst was after a break up i was bothering her and trying to apologize, so i was pretty much annoying; anywas i havent spoken to her or seenn her for 4 month, like i said i dont have her on any social media even though i have private instagram and i can add her im not going to becausae thats too weird and i dont want to look like super needy person, we never talked about it and i dont want her to remember me as a bad person or anything because im not, but at a same time i dont want to talk to her or add her on new facebook or anything, or maybe i should i dont even know thats why i want your guys opinions, should i give her a text message on facebook and tell her that i should have left her alone when she told me to and im sorry that i was being annoying to her?

[basil67]

Reading the history on this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/634149-i-want-get-my-girlfriend-back

 

You insulted her and called her names. The fact that you say it wasn't serious shows a real lack of understanding of how unacceptable your behaviour was.

 

Anyway, she's asked you not to contact her. The best thing you can do is respect that and stay out of contact.

[WonderWoman911]

I don't think you should message her if you already know you need to leave her alone since she told you. If you're sorry for being annoying, I wouldn't keep bothering her.

[TheBathWater]

If she has blocked communication with you, then I wouldn't attempt contact. What blocking means is that she wants space from you at best, and at worst, nothing to do with you ever again. In this situation, I would allow her to come to you, if she ever does at all.

 

I don't know the details of what happened, but judging from the replies you have on this thread so far, it sounds like things ended pretty nasty. Don't be so hard on yourself for screwing up. Learn from your mistakes, let it go, and practice dating other women until you find someone who is at least as special to you as she was.