My ex-Affair Partner Moved to my area! Smh!

[merrmeade]

How about clueless?

She's had that one thrown at her enough.

 

My point was that, as remorseful as she does seem to be and sincerely motivated, one more careless move and everything they've worked for could just slide off the playing board.

 

Personally, I think the best move to show good will and genuine intent to her husband would be to offer to change jobs or move for the sake of the marriage - and be enthusiastically prepared to do it.

[road]

She's had that one thrown at her enough.

 

My point was that, as remorseful as she does seem to be and sincerely motivated, one more careless move and everything they've worked for could just slide off the playing board.

 

Personally, I think the best move to show good will and genuine intent to her husband would be to offer to change jobs or move for the sake of the marriage - and be enthusiastically prepared to do it.

 

She has been told to move and find a new job many

times already and she rejects the need to do these

things.

[harrybrown]

if your H had an affair and kept contact and now his AP is right around the corner, because of your contact, would you force a move?

 

How would you feel?

 

 

hope you do start putting your H first and protect your marriage and stop protecting the OM.

[BluesPower]

You're exactly right. I have taken a break to smooth things over in my marriage with my husband. And hearing about OMW contacting me after learning about the conversation between me and OM was too much to take at the time. I made sure to tell my husband about OMW contacting me the day it happened. We are in a much better place now. It was truly selfish of me to even go against my husband's wishes and talk to OM and I deeply regret it. My husband and I have truly been reconnecting. I really aim to make better decisions from now on. I honestly did not think that the conversation I had with OM back in April would come back and bite me the way it did. When I spoke with him I felt no desire for him whatsoever and tried to treat him the same way I treat everyone else. I didn't stop and ask myself how my husband would feel back then. Although we are in a good place right now, I secretly feel like crap. I feel that there is nothing I could ever do to make up for what I did. Sometimes I ask my husband if he just stays with me for the kids. He says he is with me because he is in love with me and I am in love with him too. BUt I don't think I'm good enough. Not anymore and not for the last 2 years. My husband can do better. Sometimes I even feel as though I havent paid for my sins enough. I feel that maybe if he leaves, someone else can move into this beautiful home with him and will be much better than me in every way. And I would deserve to suffer even more. I wish I could go back to 2014 when I was a great wife and a great mom. A woman of honor who took pride in my role as a wife and mom, Back then I couldn't understand how a person could cheat. I never imagined doing such a thing. I want to go back but I can't. I hate this feeling. For the rest of my life, I will longer be able to say I never cheated on my husband. In 2014, we celebrated 10 years of marriage. 15 years of being together. I survived the "seven year itch." I am so mad at myself right now. I wish I had never met AP, I wish I never committed adultery.

 

You are right about one thing... You really can never make up for what you did. It never goes away for your husband or you.

 

However, you are wrong about disappearing from their lives. Maybe you can learn to be a better wife than you ever would have been by living and staying through the infidelity.

 

And, really, it has only been 2 years your husband are nowhere near being fully healed.

 

Keep your chin up and make good decisions. (Like Not Ever talking to the OM again, ever. Like never keeping anything from your husband. Like thinking of his needs and feelings before your own. Like continuing to being TRULY REMORSEFUL for what you have done. Like being humble when he triggers about something)

 

You made a huge mistake, but you are the only person in the world that can make it better, and you have to do that ever single day...