Winning Back a Girls Family

[NEB01]

Little background story:

I'm 24 now, ex-ex-girlfriend is 21.

 

I started dating her in my second year of university (2013?) as the university I transferred to was in her hometown (she lives 3.5 hours from my hometown). Her and I talked for over a year up to this point and hung out a couple times.

 

We dated for a year and a half until I took a job in my hometown after third year. I broke it off in October of 2014 for absolutely no other reason than I wanted to screw around with other girls, I was young and a complete idiot.

 

Over the next say year or so I was a complete dink, I lead her on like crazy, would tell her I loved her etc. and would drop her cold again for another girl. She would give into me every time, she was so madly in love with me. The last time I pulled a stunt like this was about a year and a half ago when I started talking to my most recent and only ex girlfriend since her. Her and I dated for about a year up until the beginning of this past February. It was a totally fake relationship, it was going nowhere.

 

Anyways...

 

So her and I talked on and off through my past relationship, I knew I still loved her, I knew she still loved me but she still had anger towards me for dating this girl. My ex girlfriend obviously hated her because she knew we talked.

 

2 Weeks ago, randomly enough, she was coming to my town to check out schools to as she is graduating this year and wants to go to grad school here. She asked if I wanted to meet up! I was extremely busy with work but I told her I would love to, I told her to pick any restaurant and I'd take her out.

 

We went out, although I think she picked the most expensive place in the city, it was like we had never broken up, not the slightest bit of awkwardness or anything. (Haven't seen eachother in 3 years). She actually invited me to stay at her hotel for the night which i was completely shocked about, and I had no intentions on doing so. I stayed and we had a great night (no sex but lots of intimacy). We have been talking non stop since that night. She has not hooked up with anyone since we broke up.

 

So now the issues:

 

1. Her parents obviously no longer approve of me, she has told them everything and spent countless nights crying to them. I may even go as far to say they hate me?

 

2. While in the hotel we talked about our situation and both agreed that doing distance while hiding it from her parents would not work.

 

3. It is almost inevitable that we will end up together when she moves down here for school next year but I have no interest in dodging her parents. So what do I do?

[d0nnivain]

All you can do is man up & absorb all of the blows the parents send your way. Your mantra has to be:

 

I'

m

sorry. I screwed up. You know it & I know it. I've grown up since then. I love your daughter. Please give me the chance to prove it.

 

But your actions better be top drawer. The slightest backsliding on your part & the girl would be a fool to defy her parents & take you back a 3rd time.

[NEB01]

All you can do is man up & absorb all of the blows the parents send your way. Your mantra has to be:

 

I'

m

sorry. I screwed up. You know it & I know it. I've grown up since then. I love your daughter. Please give me the chance to prove it.

 

But your actions better be top drawer. The slightest backsliding on your part & the girl would be a fool to defy her parents & take you back a 3rd time.

 

I was thinking something similar, we would be seeing each other for most of the year without interference from the parents as they would be about 4 hours away.

 

If I see that it is working out, even give the parents a sincere phone call and apologize.

[normal person]

I broke it off in October of 2014 for absolutely no other reason than I wanted to screw around with other girls, I was young and a complete idiot.

 

Over the next say year or so I was a complete dink, I lead her on like crazy, would tell her I loved her etc. and would drop her cold again for another girl.

 

The last time I pulled a stunt like this was about a year and a half ago when I started talking to my most recent and only ex girlfriend since her. Her and I dated for about a year up until the beginning of this past February. It was a totally fake relationship, it was going nowhere.

 

Ok, so...

 

So her and I talked on and off through my past relationship, I knew I still loved her,

 

Sorry, but if you "love" someone, you don't do things to them like that just because it's fun, or because you can, or for any reason, really. You have to ask yourself why you did those things to someone you supposedly "loved," face the cold hard truths, and the appropriate steps to get on a new path before you think of getting involved with this girl again. I can imagine you've said "I've definitely changed this time, trust me" before and then have fallen back into hold habits. Maybe you're telling the truth this time, who knows, but take every possible precaution to make sure you're not wasting her time again. I'd be reluctant to believe you, to be honest.

[NEB01]

Ok, so...

 

 

 

Sorry, but if you "love" someone, you don't do things to them like that just because it's fun, or because you can, or for any reason, really. You have to ask yourself why you did those things to someone you supposedly "loved," face the cold hard truths, and the appropriate steps to get on a new path before you think of getting involved with this girl again. I can imagine you've said "I've definitely changed this time, trust me" before and then have fallen back into hold habits. Maybe you're telling the truth this time, who knows, but take every possible precaution to make sure you're not wasting her time again. I'd be reluctant to believe you, to be honest.

 

Well said, and I completely agree with you.

 

A lot has changed since then that has made me change, I definitely didn't want a commitment at that time but a lot has changed this year. I have a very serious job that gives me very little free time, I just purchased a house.

 

Both her and I agreed that I need to figure out if it's something I want long term or if it's just something I'm feeling now because we hung out.

 

We more than likely will only see each other 1 or 2 times over the next year until she moves down here for school. It will definitely be a test.