Marble Shorts Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 Confirmed I'm her friend only. Conversations with her fail to convince her we could be more. No stone unturned, one tactic left before I resign myself to "it's not going to happen". The tactic needs refinment..... help please. Action. I want to do something wild to shake her view of me. I wouldn't grab, grope her or anything like that. But I want to do something. Please understand were long time friends, so this wouldn't scare her. (do you agree?) I'm thinking of finding an excuse to show her my physical power. She tells one her outrageous jokes, I (clowning around) lift her up off her feet...scold her for the joke (laughing all the while) then put her back down. Or I pretend she didn't see that car, bike, whatever, and was going to step in front. I hold her immobile for a moment. Or maybe using her joke as an excuse, attack her play-fight style. I'm very worried this post will be taken wrong. I'd never hurt her, just want to treat her to a side of me not seen before. After my demo, I'd pull back, see how she reacts. Maybe I'm all wrong, please say so...a hurtful idea won't go down, I asure you. Like a sister, she will not fear me really hurting her. Link to post Share on other sites
kanga Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 Originally posted by Marble Shorts Confirmed I'm her friend only. Conversations with her fail to convince her we could be more. No stone unturned, one tactic left before I resign myself to "it's not going to happen". ... Maybe I'm all wrong, please say so...a hurtful idea won't go down, I asure you. Like a sister, she will not fear me really hurting her. OK, I'm sure you're well intentioned with your "new tactic" and that you wouldn't really hurt her. (I hope not. Giving you the benefit of a doubt here) and I know what you mean by using your physicalness, etc. I dated a guy who did this kind of stuff before we started dating. He dunked me in the pool, we'd tickle each other and he'd pin me down to keep from tickling back, etc. Not at all hurtful or harmful. I loved it actually. But I really liked him. And I never wanted to be just frieds. You need to back off from this girl. Friend only means just that. If you need to even try to convince anyone, it means that it's not happening anytime soon. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
willieness Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 She may like it, or may hate it! I'd try it once or twice...study her reaction. Stop if she doesn't like it, if she does like it... that's great, but still might be a leap from fun with buddy to between sheets. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 I would ( if I were you ) do a slow strip tease in front of her but don't really take your shirt off. Leave her wanting more... Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 Originally posted by Marble Shorts Confirmed I'm her friend only. Conversations with her fail to convince her we could be more. This is the key ... Changing her mind isn't going to happen..Love isn't about changing someones mind She sees you as a friend and you will NEVER be anything other than that to her. SIMPLE Do a role reversal.. If there was a girl that had confirmed that you would never have any romantic feelings for her ever... Would her stripping her top off and showing you hers breasts change your mind ... NO .. your mind is already made up.. In the role reversal you are not on a fence... And in real life neither is the girl that sees you ONLY as a friend Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 Give it up guy. You need to step away from her if you can't be her friend ONLY. You can't change her mind so either you accept the role of friend or you remove yourself from her life. Fly is right in the role-reversal post. See her position and don't take it as rejection but that she just doesn't have that feeling for you that you feel. She likes you as a platonic friend and if you try what you say you will lose the friendship. Look for someone who feels towards you as you do and your friendship with this girl will still be strong and flourish. Pushing will only end it all. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 i think your plan has been so very "planned" and contrived that she'll see right through it. plus, she likes you as a friend, and this will only serve to annoy her. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by SoftDrink i think your plan has been so very "planned" and contrived that she'll see right through it. plus, she likes you as a friend, and this will only serve to annoy her. Hi M Shorts, Have you tried this yet?...let us know. Long ago, I challenged a girl to an arm wrestling match. It was fun holding hands with her. I wouldn't let her win, and I wouldn't win myself...so it went on for maybe a minute. I bedded her shortly after. But we were headed in that direction anyhow...but the arm wrestle helped. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 I like arm wrestling .......lol Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Ive had this same predicament before. It's not going anywhere. So I would cancel the plan before any of the friendship is hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
zonarosa Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 I'm not sure that demonstrations of physical force are the way to a woman's heart - yes, we are aware that nature has bestowed your gender with the greater muscle power. Maybe demonstrating some other impressive talent? (sports, cooking, music - anything that makes her say "oh yeah, that guy? yeah, he's with me!") Story: I once had a friend-only that "friendly"-tackled me, and I couldn't break free fast enough I actually broke his ankle. Link to post Share on other sites
bebe2000 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 I'm sorry to tell you but, you really need to back off, don't you hear her when she tells you no, I'm not interested? If you keep pushing yourself on her she is just gonna start feeling uncomfortable being around you. I have had lots of guy friends, and have had to tell them-I'm not interested- but they still push and lets just say I could'nt be friends with them anymore. It hurt me to see them try so hard for something that was not going to happen. I'm sure she knows what she wants and if she's not sure that's an even bigger reason to let her be. We always want what we can't have- it's the sad truth. If you really want her to notice you, find a girl that's into you and pursue that. Your friend will then see the kind of guy you are when your in a relationship, sweet, funny, giving- whatever your willing to do and be when your with a chick you like- then she will see a different side of you. If she has any feelings for you other then friends, she will think about what she missed out on or could've had. Or she may not have feelings at all. But it would'nt matter 'cause you would be with someone who likes you because they do-not because you convinced them to. You see the difference? You deserve to be "liked" just as much as you like your friend- a relationship, love if you will should never have to be one sided, it should be mutual. I wish you luck, and I hope you find happiness Ohh and I never thought you were wanting to hurt her physically, I just would hate to see you hurt yourself emotionally. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Marble Shorts Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 I recently had the chance to enact my final attempt. (strength demo) But I let it pass. I made my case to her in words 2 times in the past, that should be enough. I feel foolish for trying more than 1 time. Things felt slightly uncomfortable last time we were together, I'd like to get rid of that feeling and just be friends again. In attempting to convince her, I convinced myself that "us" would be so right. With a little time gone by, I see that it wouldn't have been perfect. Thats not sour grapes, it's a fact. Think it would be nice to a point. I spent enough time planning ways to land her, I knew her well enough to be somewhat effective too, but I'm done with that. I'd rather enjoy the qualities that made her a friend, without always planning the next move. Thanks to all for the helpful input. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts