A very unique situation

[stef21]

Hi,

 

I have been for a year with my ex, it was a long distance relationship. We had a deal for me to move closer to her and I was working as much as I can to do so. We loved each other to death and I had to pause college for a bit, I was planning to move and push her through college first and then myself.

 

All was going well, until one night out of the blue ( about 5 months in the relationship) out of the blue she texts me she had sex with someone at a party. She declared it as being raped, I had to put myself through hell for this. I was thinking about leaving, but I loved her too much. So for 2 months, I had to deal with all the images in my head of someone doing disgusting stuff with her.

 

Even at that time, I needed space to process what I was feeling. And I felt like she wouldn't give me some. She pushed me into forgiveness, and so I did it.

 

I tried for it to be all the same, but every time we would get intimate. She would tell me how she wasn't so innocent, I could do what I wanted to her. How she did this and that with her ex, and every time I would ask her to stop. She would just say I was jealous ( I was a virgin).

 

Then we had broken up for a week, and we got back together because I loved her. Everything was alright, I was supposed to visit her this summer and stay there for longer, eventually move in and out of the blue she breaks up with me.

 

I couldn't even comprehend what I did wrong, I always tried to comfort her and do whats best for her. The reason for her breaking up was that I didn't treat her well and understand her.

Have in mind please I never even raised my voice, and she has cursed at me several times. I always let her have an equal part in the decisions we would make.

 

After the break up after little time of NC, we stayed in touch and she said she still loved me and wanted me there, but needed a bit of time on her own. So I asked her if she could promise and she did, she still loved me.

 

I said ok, I will be there this summer. Just after a week after the breakup. She changes her profile picture with her best friend. The guy she told me not to worry about all along.

 

Next thing I now, they are in a relationship. Who even dates his best friend?

I asked her how it was going after 1 month of NC if she was single, she said she was in a relationship and so so in love. This guy was treating her like royalty - her words.

And she still invited me to come for a cup of coffee? Just nights ago, she told me she missed our cuddles and might feel something deep down. While being in a relationship with her best friend.

 

What kind of game is this? I mean I can't process, I feel so betrayed and disgusted by doing all the things I did for her. And she just backstabbed me, simply.

Note: She has scars on her wrists from her previous ex, when she broke up with him she inflicted pain on herself saying it helped her cope.

I just don't understand her. Whenever I say I can't visit because I love her and she has a boyfriend and that's out of control, she says well your choice. And then she tears up. WHAT THE ACTUAL F, sorry guys.

Should I go for a coffee or just stay back?

[road]

Be happy this lying cheater is out

of your life.

[d0nnivain]

Was she raped or did she voluntarily have consensual sex? Those are two very different things. If you consider her being raped cheating on you, shame on you.

 

As for the rest of this, the fantasy loving relationship you created in your mind was not the reality of this LDR. She taunted you with her sexual experience & on some levels mocked you for not being as sexual adventurous as her. You were willing to sacrifice for her -- moving to her, getting her through college etc. What was she willing to do for you? She wanted & got a BF closer to her; she was done with the distance.

 

Just go back to NC. Leave her to live her life & you get on with yours. Concentrate on getting yourself back through school.

[stef21]

I doubt it was a rape She never reported it, or was sad about it. You dont know this person, she has mental issues and lacks self-esteem.

[d0nnivain]

I doubt it was a rape She never reported it, or was sad about it. You dont know this person, she has mental issues and lacks self-esteem.

 

The be happy that she's opted to get out of your life.

[stef21]

Yeah, now I kind of am. She used to tell me how her ex forced her into sex. And she took it for a year, then she confessed she enjoyed it.

 

I mean, I was blinded by love. Can't blame me for not leaving sooner