adna89 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 My marriage today has gone to literally fights every other day,no sex.It started about his mother,he know is bothered by anything i do,,i do not clean well, i am a bad mom,i am boring because i am always at home in unattractive clothes and no makeup(i have no work ,my baby is 11 months).and now we will go to our country of origin and we will stay there for a month,,so when i told him i want to go out anf visit different places have fun we 3 as a familu, he says he wants to be with his family,he is already here all the time with me alone...so then i said he can stay with them as well as go out with us ,he says its boring since we are together all the time? It hurt my feelings really Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Marriage is boring at times. I was married for over 20 years and there were times we were bored silly. Don't take it personally. He maybe needs more outside interests to pursue. Does he like sports or what type of hobbies does he like to do? Maybe he needs a week away on a business trip or job change. Always ways to make his life more interesting so he can feel more content with his home life. You seem content with being at home with your child. He maybe needs more social networking and other connections. Give him space, get busy doing your own thing, make new friends, and he'll soon realize how exciting being married to you can be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 So don't go with him. It's going to be boring and stifling for you. Stay home and let him go and you stay there and go have fun by yourself with your baby. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Marriage is boring at times. And marriage is also what you make of it... what you put in, you get out. Your husband isn't putting anything into this marriage. His many complaints, the way he dismisses you and puts you down, the fact that he does not want to spend time as a family... I read your post and wondered - why is she with this man? But then, I remembered your previous posts - you are very unhappy in your marriage and you feel that you are not able to divorce because of your culture. It's a difficult position to be in, to be sure. I don't have any advice except to suggest that you find someone in your culture who can counsel and help you. I respect your cultural beliefs and the importance of family, but I hate to see you stay in an unhappy marriage with a man who does not treat you well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 Marriage is boring at times. And marriage is also what you make of it... what you put in, you get out. Your husband isn't putting anything into this marriage. His many complaints, the way he dismisses you and puts you down, the fact that he does not want to spend time as a family... I read your post and wondered - why is she with this man? But then, I remembered your previous posts - you are very unhappy in your marriage and you feel that you are not able to divorce because of your culture. It's a difficult position to be in, to be sure. I don't have any advice except to suggest that you find someone in your culture who can counsel and help you. I respect your cultural beliefs and the importance of family, but I hate to see you stay in an unhappy marriage with a man who does not treat you well. At times it gets good,it is not only bad.It only gets so when his mother comes in the picture,which is why i hate to even thing about visiting her...but he says he needs to spend time with them as well,i am close to my relatives he is not..i understand that,but i want time as a family as well.He is getting more distance from his mom from what i noticed ,but i try to leave the room every time she calls now(it used to be every day ,now its less and less) Link to post Share on other sites
Author adna89 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 So don't go with him. It's going to be boring and stifling for you. Stay home and let him go and you stay there and go have fun by yourself with your baby. I have relatives there as well,i told him if he feels its boring with me i will stay in the house of my parents and he can be with his mother,but he says he did not mean like that,he just wants to be able to spend time with his mother,sister,brother...while we can spend time as a family as well(he said this later Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Hi adna, I think what you suggested in your last post to your husband is the real solution. You stay with your parents and let him stay with his family. As the saying in English goes 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder'! Once you are not there on a daily basis he will start missing you and maybe then hr will realize what he stands to lose if he does not have you. I would also suggest that you try and dress up and use some make up and perfume etc before he gets home from work so that you present a pretty picture when he enters the door. Remember, a woman's biggest weapon for enchanting a man is to be an enigma for him. Get yourself a good wardrobe and put on a different attire every day. Wear a different perfume so that you continually surprise him. Let him wonder what you will be wearing today and ghar should keep his interest alive. How is your sex life? I hope he does'nt consider that boring. If he does then try different things in the bedroom. Also do not hide behind your culture every time you do not want to spark things up. Be different. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts