KGee Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I'm staying over at my partners more and more. I find myself if I'm staying up if he is coming home late (He works all over the country) I can't sleep and I stay up until he gets in (so I know he is okay) and I'll cook him some dinner or run him a bath. I just worry. I know I shouldn't worry as much. My mum says its because I am smitten, My boyfriend says he will be safe and ok. If anything happens they'll tell me. Like now he is on his way to the south coast with work and Im worrying he will get there ok. Am I normal or just a worrier. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 You are a worrier. Don't sacrifice your health or ability to do your job because you are sleep deprived but it's OK to give a partner TLC when they come home after a long day. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Yes, you are a worrier! I think in time, though, you'll find strategies to get through it. Its kinda sweet, imo, but don't make your worry his problem. If he's being inconsiderate, like you're worrying because he's two hours late and hasn't texted to explain, give him hell. But otherwise I'd keep my worry to myself as much as possible because that can feel like a lot of pressure to your partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I think a bit of worrying in unusual circumstances is normal and okay, but you need to learn to cope with the anxiety and not let it affect your life so severely. If you literally can't sleep each time he travels for work, that may actually end up negatively affecting your relationship because you will be moody, anxious, it might hurt your career, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KGee Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Last night we had really bad weather and I was worried something would happen whilst he drove to the south coast, If he is going to be late he would text, I just worry that something would happen. I miss him a lot when he is away. At times I wish he didn't have to travel as much, or times I wish I could go with him. I guess I am a worrier, My mum says I'm just really smitten Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Worrying when you have a reason to worry, like last night's bad weather, is fine. Worrying without a rational basis is more problematic. I was worried about my house & family in Florida all weekend. But I don't go nuts just because my husband works over time. Do you see the difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KGee Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Worrying when you have a reason to worry, like last night's bad weather, is fine. Worrying without a rational basis is more problematic. I was worried about my house & family in Florida all weekend. But I don't go nuts just because my husband works over time. Do you see the difference? I do. Like now I know he is on the south coast, I'm not worried, but if he is driving home or if he is driving home he will say to get into bed but I worry and stay up. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I'm staying over at my partners more and more. I find myself if I'm staying up if he is coming home late (He works all over the country) I can't sleep and I stay up until he gets in (so I know he is okay) and I'll cook him some dinner or run him a bath. I just worry. I know I shouldn't worry as much. My mum says its because I am smitten, My boyfriend says he will be safe and ok. If anything happens they'll tell me. Like now he is on his way to the south coast with work and Im worrying he will get there ok. Am I normal or just a worrier. I agree with your dear old mum. You also sound the nurturing sort. Girlfriend material, basically. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Nurturing is one thing . . . smothering is another. He's an adult. He is perfectly capable of getting where he needs to be. If something happens, it happens. Deal with that bridge if you get to it. Stop do the "what ifs". Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I'm staying over at my partners more and more. I find myself if I'm staying up if he is coming home late (He works all over the country) I can't sleep and I stay up until he gets in (so I know he is okay) and I'll cook him some dinner or run him a bath. I just worry. I know I shouldn't worry as much. My mum says its because I am smitten, My boyfriend says he will be safe and ok. If anything happens they'll tell me. Like now he is on his way to the south coast with work and Im worrying he will get there ok. How long have you been dating? Indeed moms know best. When I split from my last ex my mom told me something very valuable that I have kept in mind. See, I was the type of woman you are, I would take care of my guy like a 'mom' would. I'd iron his clothes, take his clothes out for the next day, wait up etc. He still cheated on me. So when I left my mom said to me: Gaeta, men don't want to sleep with their moms. That's where I understood I had killed some of the attraction by being a gf to being his mother to him. Now, I am in a relationship and of course I will do things for him. I'll cook to make sure he has a warm meal when he comes in late but the dinner will be in the fridge and I will be in bed if it's past my bed time. I certainly will not stay up to run him a bath. He knows his way to the shower. If you are 'too devoted' it will kill the love. You need to learn to pace yourself. You need to respect your own limits if you want him to continue respecting you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KGee Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 I just want to do nice things for him. It won't be every night, because If he is local he usually cooks for me and spoils me. I just want to return the favour. I know he will do anything to keep me happy, I know once a few months back he bought flights back home to keep a hospital appointment with me then fly back so its more than reciprocated. I just worry that one of the crazies on the road will do something and affect him,but when he is in the hotel I'm fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I just worry that one of the crazies on the road will do something and affect him,but when he is in the hotel I'm fine. You don't trust him to drive? You don't trust him to keep himself safe? Even if you stay up all night being worried he'll have an accident it's not going to miraculously protect him from having one. He's an adult man, he can take care of him. Life will throw rocks at you whether you sleep or not, so might as well catch a bit of sleep. While you worry you don't live in the moment and that's a shame because life is now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KGee Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 You don't trust him to drive? You don't trust him to keep himself safe? Even if you stay up all night being worried he'll have an accident it's not going to miraculously protect him from having one. He's an adult man, he can take care of him. Life will throw rocks at you whether you sleep or not, so might as well catch a bit of sleep. While you worry you don't live in the moment and that's a shame because life is now. I do trust him, I just don't trust some of the crazy people on the UK roads. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I do trust him, I just don't trust some of the crazy people on the UK roads. And what can you do about the crazy people on the UK roads? Link to post Share on other sites
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