Why Does She Act Like This?

[act00]

I hung out Saturday night with her and her friends. When we got back I said goodbye to her, gave her a hug, and walked back to my car when she said “that’s it?” It was 3am and I wanted to go home. As I’m driving home I get a text that reads “kiss me” followed by “what’s the worst that could happen?” a few minutes later. I never responded except to make sure she got home safe.

She then texted me the following morning.

 

 

She wished me a merry christmas on Christmas morning and I actually left for vacation on Xmas day and she texted me telling me to let her know when I landed so she knew I was safe.

 

The thing that I left out regarding this whole ordeal is up until about 3 1/2 weeks ago she had a BF. Since she expressed interest in me I kept reminding her that she had one and that her pursuit or whatever you wanna call it of me was inapproiate. She agreed but claimed that she wasn’t sure how to break up with him. I think she felt like the only way I was gonna make a move is if she actually broke up with him? I’m not sure. This hopefully will clear up why I have been a douche towards her because the truth is I actually do like her but I see how she acted towards me when she had BF and I feel like she would probably do the same to me.

 

So this whole time you've left out a VITAL piece of information.

[rkc2]

Yeah I did. I can honestly say that she really didn’t like him but stayed with him cause it’s somebody. Which that in and of it self is bad. Don’t like a situation? Walk away and that’s what I told her and she claimed she was scared and didnt know how to end it.

 

She’s really attractive and could clearly do better then her ex-bf so I don’t know why she just didn’t leave him.

[rkc2]

So how much does that change things. I’m pretty sure she was trying to see if I was on board with dating her before she broke up with her bf but because I wasn’t making a move she felt she had to break up with him in order for something to happen.

 

 

Over the last couple of days she has sent me pictures and videos of myself that she has saved on her phone.

[rkc2]

So since I’ve been on vacation she has sent me additional photos of videos of me that she takes when we hang out. . One had the caption “ Ugh SO CUTE. Your smileee ??”. I asked her if she’s going out for New Years and she said no. I told her I was gonna say be safe and text me when she got home. She came back with “well I have no one to go out with because my friend is on vacation without me”

 

The truth is that I legit have zero experience. For some reason I’ve always shied away from girls. Have no idea why. I’ve had countless girls express interest in me over the years and I do absolutely nothing about it and actually I run away from the situation like I am here.

 

I just don’t know what to do. I’m rather dominant in other areas of life and she knows this and I’m pretty sure she thinks this carries over with girls/woman and unfortunately it does not.

 

I just don’t know what to do. Do I come out and tell her? Honestly don’t think she would hold it against me but I’m not sure.

[rkc2]

Come on. Can’t anyone help me out?

[LoverOfDance]

Tell her what?

[preraph]

Geez, what does a girl have to do to get you to ask her out, remove her blouse?? Wakey, wakey.

[rkc2]

I just wanted to post an update regarding this situation. So over the Christmas Holiday I went on vacation for 8 days with friends from school. It was a large group of us (12 all together). Of those 12, one of them is my ex girlfriend. This particular girl knows that my ex is still in the picture. She lives 900 miles away so I don't see her a lot.

 

I am strictly friends with my ex but I do talk to her a lot and she visits me and I visit her. Let me be clear that nothing happened between the two of us when I was on vacation with her.

 

When I was on vacation we texted here and there but nothing too crazy.Sometimes she initiated and sometimes I did. Anyway she texted the day before I came back to get the exact time my flight got in because she missed me and wanted to hang out. The day I came home I woke up extremely sick and never texted her back until 3 days later because I just felt that bad. Matter of fact , I didn't text anybody back because I just wanted to be left alone.

 

When I finally did text her back and told her I was sick she didn't seem all that concerned and she later admitted that she thought I was blowing her off because she claims I always do what I want. I did return to work still sick so she did see first hand how sick I was and that I wasn't faking it.

 

The thing that has me concerned is that she really hasn't been too concerned with me being sick. I mean this is a girl that is apparently obsessed with me and likes me a lot, telling me she misses me but yet when I'm sick she only asked me once how I was feeling and that was it.

 

we hung out last night with friends and I had to drive over a block to drop a buddy off at his car and I texted her telling her to let me know when she gets home so I know she's safe and she responded back saying that she " hasn't gotten a hug in a while and that she waited for me because she thought I might have came back and said goodbye to her".

[olivetree]

If you had plans you should have messaged her.

It doesn't take that much effort to send a text, even if you're sick.

 

She's not too concerned about your sickness because she's hurt.

[rkc2]

If you had plans you should have messaged her.

It doesn't take that much effort to send a text, even if you're sick.

 

She's not too concerned about your sickness because she's hurt.

 

In all fairness though. Who comes back from vacation and immediately runs out and hangs out with a girl or a friend, etc. I was gone 9 days. Doesn't she think that I might have responsibilities that I need to attend to?

 

She just asked me to go to karaoke with her and I never responded to her. It's not unusual for me to not respond either. I'm terrible with responding to text messages and she knows this. It's not just with her, its with everyone.

[olivetree]

In all fairness though. Who comes back from vacation and immediately runs out and hangs out with a girl or a friend, etc. I was gone 9 days. Doesn't she think that I might have responsibilities that I need to attend to?

 

She just asked me to go to karaoke with her and I never responded to her. It's not unusual for me to not respond either. I'm terrible with responding to text messages and she knows this. It's not just with her, its with everyone.

 

So whatif she wants to hang out.

So respond and tell her you can't make it.

 

It sounds like you purposely don't respond to texts and not that you're forgetful since you are mentioning it here.

Your behaviour is very odd.

 

Overall I get the impression that you don't take other people's feelings into account and you're only concerned with your own.

 

Maintaining healthy relationships takes effort and responsiveness / communication.

[LoverOfDance]

@rkc2 - You're quite an interesting fellow. She asked you out to karaoke and you ignored her but you're able to respond to us easily and promptly on here. I would have said that you don't care very much about her but the fact that you're still updating this thread tells me that you do.

 

Being sick is not an excuse to not respond to someone who you seem to like so much that you are still writing about her.

 

I don't know why you're playing games and treating this girl poorly. You're the only one who knows - the human mind is pretty strange.

 

Maybe you tend to treat ppl you care about badly? Or maybe you're ignoring her because you think she'll like you more if you do? I'm actually curious as to why you treat this girl the way you do.

Edited January 16, 2018 by LoverOfDance

[rkc2]

I am really bad at responding to texts. It's just how I am and she knows this. I just sent out a mass snap to a bunch of people to keep my streaks alive and she was one of them and it was a video of me signing "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes.

 

She then responded back by saying then " Then make me feel wanted Rkc2".

[Marc878]

Don't worry she'll find some one who's interested in her.

[rkc2]

I never snapped her back because I don't know what to say and now she just texted me saying "Hi".

[Cookiesandough]

she's not that interested

[Cookiesandough]

I’m not intentionally trying to do it. The truth is that she has a history of leading guys on so when they actually make a move she turns them down. How that works when she has multiple times maybe like 5 told me that she’s into me and wants to be more than friends when I on the other hand have told her that I just want to be friends I’m not sure.

 

I don’t know how she would justify making those comments multiple times only to have me make a move and then turn me down. I was gonna type more but I’m limited on time right now.

 

It's exactly what she's doing here. I think you will lose this game. If she doesn't have enough interest it's not going to do much good. Why waste your time on someone who plays such games with men any way? Sounds like she's an attention hound who won't ever be able to get enough.

[rkc2]

It's exactly what she's doing here. I think you will lose this game. If she doesn't have enough interest it's not going to do much good. Why waste your time on someone who plays such games with men any way? Sounds like she's an attention hound who won't ever be able to get enough.

 

Let me be clear and say that she hasn't turned me down because I haven't even made a move. She has coaxed me to try to kiss her, is that the action of a girl that wants to lead a guy on along with trying to invite herself inside my house to watch a movie?

 

She really hasn't played games with me. She has with other guys though. She's been pretty straight forward with me. She does know that even though I lack experience. (she doesn't know this). I do have options. There are two other girls at work that have crushes on me that I have no interest in.

 

 

Oh I think she without a doubt has a lot of interest but is it because she actually genuinely likes me or is because I haven't been easy like most guys and won't fall prey to her antics? I'm not sure.

 

This is one text she sent me last week. It reads " I really did enjoy the small amount of time laying on your shoulder. When you had your hand on my arm I literally got goosebumps." She then went on to say "Maybe we could hangout at your house. Maybe watch a movie there? I liked laying on you. if that's too much I get it though".

 

She was also caressing my hand when I had my arm around her.

[LoverOfDance]

lol, now that I think about it, this girl sounds quite aggressive especially towards someone who isn't showing much interest, lol. I'm beginning to think she knows what she's doing.

 

I think you should be straight forward and tell her you're interested. I think if you do this, you can find out if her interest is genuine or if she just likes the chase. She could also just be messing around with you - it could be a dare, who the heck knows. She just seems more forward and aggressive than usual towards someone who's barely trying.

 

Stop beating around the bush and playing whatever game it is you're playing. Women are usually smarter than men I think. You'll probably be the one to end up hurt.

[Highndry]

"Why does she act like this?"

 

Hard to say, but be very wary of women who come on extremely strong. It's often a sign they're going to drop you like a hot rock once you show interest. They're validation seekers.

[LoverOfDance]

Remember that we are all just making speculations. No one really knows the truth.

 

I know one thing for sure though, you are wasting your own time by not being straight forward. Tell her you're interested and see what she does afterwards. If she pulls away, who cares. You can move on and focus your energy on better things.

[rkc2]

lol, now that I think about it, this girl sounds quite aggressive especially towards someone who isn't showing much interest, lol. I'm beginning to think she knows what she's doing.

 

I think you should be straight forward and tell her you're interested. I think if you do this, you can find out if her interest is genuine or if she just likes the chase. She could also just be messing around with you - it could be a dare, who the heck knows. She just seems more forward and aggressive than usual towards someone who's barely trying.

 

Stop beating around the bush and playing whatever game it is you're playing. Women are usually smarter than men I think. You'll probably be the one to end up hurt.

 

It's not that I haven't show much interest. It's just that I have been hot and cold. I hear from coworkers that she talks about me all the time and she even texted my friend the other night saying that she's upset that things aren't progressing because she really likes me.

 

She kept telling a coworker at work when I was vacation that it sucked because I wasn't there and things would be so much better if I was there. She's also spent a decent amount of money on me without me asking, probably around $60 all together.

 

 

One night we were suppose to go to the movies and I cancelled last minute because it was gonna get too late, she was upset claiming that I stood her up even though I gave her a 45 minute notice. I was getting a vibe that she really didn't want to go because she said it would be more fun if we had a movie night at my house instead of going to the movies.

 

Anyway we ended up going the following night and she got there before me, actually early, and she texted me telling me to come right in because she already bought our tickets for us. This is after I technically stood her up the night before.

[LoverOfDance]

@rkc2 - how old are you? You're acting like you're a very young guy. Then again many men still act like kids when they're 50.

 

To be honest with you, nothing you've said actually proves that she likes you. In this situation, as I previously said, I believe the only way to know is by telling her you're interested and then observing how she responds. Right now, you are going around in circles but I guess if you're young then you have all the time in world. If you want to keep doing that, then go ahead.

[rightondude]

I've just read every post in this thread and I am more the worse for it. But I just couldn't stop. I almost feel like I'm reading something avant garde, minimalistic, banal, and yet revealing more depth about the culture and thought process of our youth than any years long truman show type experiment could ever offer.

 

Young brother ... you ... you are either the simplest wet behind the ears kid or a sadist or a troll or conducting an experiment or ... geez, I have no idea what you are.

 

This girl has put you on the spot several time with questions that demand an answer, and yet, you never give one. At least not that you share here. You always just end the story. And then show up with the next minuscule advancement of the tale, as if the previous events never happened. What happens after these questions are asked of you? You just stand there with your mouth slightly open and your eyes pointed up and she finally walks away until you two meet again?

 

On the off chance you are an actual real human being with a soul, please for the love of God figure out who this girl (oh and don't get me started on her) is and what she is to you. DO it now. Don't post. Sit down and think to yourself: do I like this girl? Do I want to be with her? Do I want to see her naked? Do I want to enjoy relations with her? Most people can process this in an hour or a week's time but we've been here 3 or 4 months and you still don't seem to have had this conversation in your head.

 

If the answer is eventually yes, stand up, blow the dust away, unlock your doors, step out in to the light, and TALK to her. Tell her you're sorry you've been wishy washy but you've finally put it all together and your feelings are legit for her. Then advance as as close to normal functional young adults as possible.

 

Of course what will eventually happen is that we'll be on page 42342353434643 of this post when you're both in the robot controlled human storage center and you decide to make your move. You'll profess your love right before the singularity hits, only to hear her say, "he he I was totally just messing with you! whatevs!"

 

and FIN

[rkc2]

@rkc2 - how old are you? You're acting like you're a very young guy. Then again many men still act like kids when they're 50.

 

To be honest with you, nothing you've said actually proves that she likes you. In this situation, as I previously said, I believe the only way to know is by telling her you're interested and then observing how she responds. Right now, you are going around in circles but I guess if you're young then you have all the time in world. If you want to keep doing that, then go ahead.

 

Have you read this whole thread from the beginning? If not, it has a lot of information in in. Some of which I have left out. I mean I could go for days upon days listing the different things she has done that indicate she likes me but at the same time is it an act? If so, she has exerted a Rediculous amount of effort trying to “get” me.

 

She has came right out and said she wanted to do life with me. I told her I just wanted to be friends. She has told me multiple times she wants to be more than friends If all the stuff that I listed in this thread doesn’t indicate she likes me than I’m really curious to see what a girl does when she really does in fact like a guy.

 

I’m 23. Your post is really making me doubt myself. I mean do girls really touch and fondle guys they have no interest in, tell them to kiss them, try to initiate a one on one “hangout” at my house where she has never been to before? Put up with the guy bailing multiple times. If so, than I’m really lost.