Why Does She Act Like This?

[rkc2]

I've just read every post in this thread and I am more the worse for it. But I just couldn't stop. I almost feel like I'm reading something avant garde, minimalistic, banal, and yet revealing more depth about the culture and thought process of our youth than any years long truman show type experiment could ever offer.

 

Young brother ... you ... you are either the simplest wet behind the ears kid or a sadist or a troll or conducting an experiment or ... geez, I have no idea what you are.

 

This girl has put you on the spot several time with questions that demand an answer, and yet, you never give one. At least not that you share here. You always just end the story. And then show up with the next minuscule advancement of the tale, as if the previous events never happened. What happens after these questions are asked of you? You just stand there with your mouth slightly open and your eyes pointed up and she finally walks away until you two meet again?

 

On the off chance you are an actual real human being with a soul, please for the love of God figure out who this girl (oh and don't get me started on her) is and what she is to you. DO it now. Don't post. Sit down and think to yourself: do I like this girl? Do I want to be with her? Do I want to see her naked? Do I want to enjoy relations with her? Most people can process this in an hour or a week's time but we've been here 3 or 4 months and you still don't seem to have had this conversation in your head.

 

If the answer is eventually yes, stand up, blow the dust away, unlock your doors, step out in to the light, and TALK to her. Tell her you're sorry you've been wishy washy but you've finally put it all together and your feelings are legit for her. Then advance as as close to normal functional young adults as possible.

 

Of course what will eventually happen is that we'll be on page 42342353434643 of this post when you're both in the robot controlled human storage center and you decide to make your move. You'll profess your love right before the singularity hits, only to hear her say, "he he I was totally just messing with you! whatevs!"

 

and FIN

 

So are you saying she actually really likes me? Cause loverofdance doesn’t seem to think so. I’m fact, she thinks I’m being played.

 

I have told her that I just want to be friends. That is what I have told everyone that has asked what is going on with “us”. She has accepted that answer and said that she is fine with being friends if that’s what I really want. Is she really okay with that? Probably not.

 

I will say that for my age. I’m pretty well accomplished. I do a lot of fun interesting stuff and she might be in love with the idea of me but not actually like the real “me”.

[rightondude]

So are you saying she actually really likes me? Cause loverofdance doesn’t seem to think so. I’m fact, she thinks I’m being played.

 

What type of game do you think she's playing? This has been going on for months!!!! Usually you play games to win something at the end. If she's "playing" with you ... for what??? Just for you to bone her one time? Dude girls don't work like that! You normally get one chance! This girl has put herself out there, been sending you every signal in the book outside of wearing her panties on her head, and you're the one worried about being "played?"

 

I have told her that I just want to be friends. That is what I have told everyone that has asked what is going on with “us”. She has accepted that answer and said that she is fine with being friends if that’s what I really want. Is she really okay with that? Probably not.

 

You yourself said she was hot. You have posted five million posts asking, "you guys really think she likes me?" Why would you give a **** if you only saw her as a friend? You love this girl. Quit acting like you just want to be this hot girl who's into you and is probably going to grind you into fine powder's "friend."

 

I will say that for my age. I’m pretty well accomplished. I do a lot of fun interesting stuff and she might be in love with the idea of me but not actually like the real “me”.

 

Well keep on keeping on brother. Now I ask you, how do you know you don't just like the idea of her being a friend; what if you really do love her? Deep stuff...

Edited January 17, 2018 by rightondude

[LoverOfDance]

@rkc2 - LOL, I never said you were getting played. I said I am beginning to doubt the genuineness of her feelings because she seems quite aggressive towards you especially considering the fact that you've put little to no effort into whatever it is you have going on with her - YES, you are barely trying. You haven't shown any real interest in her.

 

And YES, I followed this thread from the very beginning. At first, I thought she liked you but now, it just seems like she's trying way too hard. Something seems off to me. It's like you're doing 10% and she's doing 100%.

 

Even if she was in love with you, I still think she is putting way too much effort into someone who is doing little to nothing. Seems a little weird if you ask me but then again, everyone is different.

 

You are also a little strange yourself because you've liked this girl for months and you've refused to admit it to even yourself. I don't see how you'll admit it to her if you can't even be honest with yourself, lol.

[rkc2]

We decided that we wanted the same thing for lunch today. When it was time for her to go get the food, she asked me what I wanted and then as I was digging out my credit card she said NO STOP! and then when I tried to hand it to her she said NO STOP! again.

 

She also asked if I still see her as a little sister

 

Do girls really buy lunch for guys they have no interest in?

[GorillaTheater]

We decided that we wanted the same thing for lunch today. When it was time for her to go get the food, she asked me what I wanted and then as I was digging out my credit card she said NO STOP! and then when I tried to hand it to her she said NO STOP! again.

 

She also asked if I still see her as a little sister

 

Do girls really buy lunch for guys they have no interest in?

 

 

Jesus, just ask her out already. Her response will answer far more of your questions than we can.

[rkc2]

So a lot has happened over the last several weeks. Too much to list so I'll only list a few things. She saw that I was eating a particular bag of chips on Tuesday so she came in on Wednesday with that same bag of chips told me that she got them for me. She left me a note on my car's mirror. It read "RKC, I just want to let you know that I'm truly grateful to have you in my life. I can't begin to thank you for the laughs we've shared. All my love, Lauren.

 

We play fought with each other at work on Saturday. She texted me randomly Saturday night saying "Have a good night RKC. Forever grateful for you"

 

She then snapped me a selfie Sunday morning with the caption "Found myself thinking about you and realized I was smiling. So I took a pic :)"

[ExpatInItaly]

So...what's your question for us at this point, OP?

[smackie9]

So a lot has happened over the last several weeks. Too much to list so I'll only list a few things. She saw that I was eating a particular bag of chips on Tuesday so she came in on Wednesday with that same bag of chips told me that she got them for me. She left me a note on my car's mirror. It read "RKC, I just want to let you know that I'm truly grateful to have you in my life. I can't begin to thank you for the laughs we've shared. All my love, Lauren.

 

We play fought with each other at work on Saturday. She texted me randomly Saturday night saying "Have a good night RKC. Forever grateful for you"

 

She then snapped me a selfie Sunday morning with the caption "Found myself thinking about you and realized I was smiling. So I took a pic :)"

For the love of god...ASK HER OUT ALREADY!

[rkc2]

So...what's your question for us at this point, OP?

 

I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for you guys to validate the idea that she is into me. When you guys say ask her out. Do you mean an actual date? I have hung out and taken her to places before so I guess that doesn't count.

 

I'm not gonna lie. She is a really attractive girl. Physically at least and She's used to guys trying to have sex with her and the fact that I have zero or at least appear to have zero interest in trying to bang her, makes me somewhat of a challenge to her.

 

I have also told her and she is fully aware of the fact that I'm quite conservative and reserved so that should line up with the idea that I'm NOT actively trying to bang her.

 

I should note that within the last several weeks I have been pretty good to her. On Saturday, a coworker was telling me how she said that she was cold so I went and found her and gave her my coat.

 

I've told her that I take things very slowly so none of this should be that much of a surprise. I mean if she is really into me why doesn't she just kiss me herself? Or is she afraid that I would reject idea?

[rkc2]

I asked her on Tuesday through text if she "still wanted to be more than friends" she said "I'm scared to answer that! Why???" So I said "Why are you scared to answer" and she said "I feel like its a trick question".

 

Anyway she snapped me later in the week a picture of a parking pass from one of the football games we went to saying "Remember this?" Turns out it was actually the wrong parking pass from a different game that she didn't go with me to. I typically leave them on the dashboard and she must have took it and held on to it. Not realizing that she had the wrong one. I called her out on it and told her that she must have grabbed it from the dashboard and she claimed her arms aren't long enough to reach anything on the dashboard of my truck. She kept trying to claim that she went with me to that game but my phones camera roll confirms that she wasn't there. She claimed that she found it in her backpack when cleaning her room and that I handed it to her when we pulled in to park. Which is impossible because she didn't go to that game with me.

 

 

She then snapped me last night with a picture of my food order that I wrote out for her when we got lunch several weeks ago.(which she paid for) It was titled "found this in my car....".

[smackie9]

Dear rck2, Going out on dates is how you develop emotional attachment/attraction. Please (again)....for the love of god ask her out on a date and continue to take her out on dates. Get to know each other, enjoy each others company, fall in love....stop playing games....and call her not text, for a damn date. Time to get serious here.

[preraph]

Honestly, she's been completely straightforward that she wants to date you and you are still suspecting her of not being serious. That's nuts. No one would waste this much time just to play cat and mouse with you.

 

You are acting almost exactly like this guy I was dating for awhile who ended up being gay but not ready to admit it to himself. He got jealous and everything. He wanted to spend a lot of time. But what he didn't want to do is kiss or anything. He was actually afraid of sex. He had nightmares about it. I imagine those went away as soon as some guy finally took the initiative. At least I hope.

[rkc2]

Honestly, she's been completely straightforward that she wants to date you and you are still suspecting her of not being serious. That's nuts. No one would waste this much time just to play cat and mouse with you.

 

You are acting almost exactly like this guy I was dating for awhile who ended up being gay but not ready to admit it to himself. He got jealous and everything. He wanted to spend a lot of time. But what he didn't want to do is kiss or anything. He was actually afraid of sex. He had nightmares about it. I imagine those went away as soon as some guy finally took the initiative. At least I hope.

 

Are you implying that you think I'm gay? I wanna kiss her. I really do. I just don't know what the hell I'm doing. I think she knows that and yet she still expects me to make all the moves.

[preraph]

I can't imagine what you are talking about because so far it is SHE who has made all the moves. But yes, she would like you to make a move because I would imagine she'd like to know you can make a move. If not, I think she'll lose interest. I mean, she's literally done everything except throw herself naked upon you. I'm sure she'd like to have a man who has it in him to make a move, especially after she's done so much to encourage you and been honest with you. Your fear is going to mess this up if you don't get over it. You need to kiss her.

[rkc2]

She texted me on Thursday saying that she was thinking about me. She asked me to go see a movie with her last night and she paid for my ticket. It honestly felt like we were just friends last night. We parked in different areas of the mall so I walked her to her car and she gave me a ride back to my truck. When she said goodbye to me that was it. She didn't try to get me to kiss her, didn't ask for a huge or anything.

 

I should note that she posted some stuff to her story on snapchat for valentines day and I discovered that the same picture she posted to instagram of us at the game is also hanging up on the wall right above her bed where her pillow is.

[CatMinx]

The only way you’ll learn how to date is by dating. You should’ve gone in for the kiss. She’s not going to say ‘kiss me’, you need to learn to read body language.

 

I cannot go back and read this whole thread because it’s frustrating but ffs do something!! She’s probably starting to resent you for not asking her out at this point.

[rkc2]

I guess you could say we went on a date last night. She invited me to go see a movie with her and she ended up paying for our tickets. Anyway we got the wrong show time so we hung out and just talked in the theater for about an hour before the movie started.

 

This is where things got weird. I was talking about something. I don't recall what it was but I do know that it wasn't that important. All of a sudden she started freaking about how my pupils were dilated. She kept asking if I was alright and I kept playing it off like it wasn't a big deal. She had this look on her face that I really can't even describe. It was this serious look but almost like she was looking for something to happen.

 

I'm sure this isn't the first time my pupils have been dilated around her so why she was making a big deal out of it I have no idea.

[Jj66]

Weird. Maybe she wanted to kiss then got distracted by your eyes.

[snowboy91]

Theatres are dark... pupils dilate in the dark. It's strange that she made a big deal out of it.

 

Speaking of a dark empty theatre... I think you missed your chance there

[preraph]

It's pretty common knowledge that pupils dilate when they're talking to someone they find interesting in some way. But of course, they also dilate in the dark. She's looking for proof that you like her.

 

She wants you, which would be clear to a mannequin, and while I think it's very odd you have no idea what do to about it, I also see some red flags with her, but it's not that I think she's yanking your chain. it's that she was trying to get involved with you while already having a bf. It's that she has already brought up hinting she

needs a place to live. It's that she flirts more than most hookers.

 

So whatever is keeping you from finding out, nevertheless your gut may be right, though for the wrong reasons.

 

IF you ever do have sex with her, YOU be responsible for the birth control in case she decides to entrap you. Lord knows she's pushy enough.

[rkc2]

It's pretty common knowledge that pupils dilate when they're talking to someone they find interesting in some way. But of course, they also dilate in the dark. She's looking for proof that you like her.

 

She wants you, which would be clear to a mannequin, and while I think it's very odd you have no idea what do to about it, I also see some red flags with her, but it's not that I think she's yanking your chain. it's that she was trying to get involved with you while already having a bf. It's that she has already brought up hinting she

needs a place to live. It's that she flirts more than most hookers.

 

So whatever is keeping you from finding out, nevertheless your gut may be right, though for the wrong reasons.

 

IF you ever do have sex with her, YOU be responsible for the birth control in case she decides to entrap you. Lord knows she's pushy enough.

 

It was just weird the way she brought it up. It was so abrupt and caught me off guard. The bolded part is something that I'm confused about. How could my gut be right but for the wrong reasons? Please explain

[preraph]

Because you're paranoid she's just teasing you. I'm paranoid she may be a user and we already know she's cheating on her bf by flirting with other guys, so if she'll do that to him, she'll do it to anybody, including you. She brought up needing a place to live. She's overly pushy, and it makes me think she might be looking for monetary gain of some sort. I just haven't known too many real pushy "I like you, why don't you like me" type women who weren't opportunists, I guess.

 

Also, it's been all this time and anybody would have given up on you by now, but if she's not really emotionally involved but is just looking for someone she can take advantage of, then that might make it easy for her to just go on about her business while she pulls your arm like a slot machine.

 

Just saying I see some red flags.

[rkc2]

I pretty much agree with everything you said. She is without a doubt a user. She hasn't been able to use me though. She constantly pays for things when we go and do things. I'm pretty sure she's not like this with other people though. For example, she organized a mini road trip and got other people to drive and didn't even offer gas money. This is after one of the kids complained that his car got horrible gas milage. That's just a small little example.

 

I think she's drawn to be me because I'm such a strong willed and determined person that can't be easily played or manipulated but at the same time she wants a guy that she can easily manipulate and control. Her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend was a pushover and she clearly controlled him and wore the pants in that relationship.

[preraph]

Don't be too flattered that she's using others while paying for you because she may just like a challenge and be hoping there's a big payoff at the end. Or she may think you're LIKE her and get her. Just be careful. Most women are not anywhere near this pushy unless there's something off.

[LoverOfDance]

You've been obsessing about this and posting on here about the same girl for over 6 months now. Give this girl a chance. You obviously care and since you do, you should try or you'll always wonder what if. Remember that we are all just making speculations. We don't really know.

 

Give her a chance and see what happens. Date her, get to know her properly and see If you actually really like her.