Not the Jealous Type-Maybe I should be.

[NotTheJealousType]

I have been involved in a committed relationship for the past year. My girlfriend moved in with me about 8 months ago, and has been with me since. This was an internet romance, and she came from partytown capital of the world, Southern California, and moved to relatively small town South Texas. We had alot of discussions about what type of lifestyle she had, and that I had. I am a very private person who has not been to a bar or club in over 10 years, and she is someone who went to bars and clubs on a weekly basis. I am someone who needs perhaps one good friend (a committed partner) and she appeared to be someone who has hundreds of "friends" made at bars and clubs, and via the internet. I believe that both of us were honest in what we told the other, although not necessary realistic. For instance she said that the only reason she felt she needed to have so many friends and party, was as a substitute for not having the that special someone in her life. I told her that I believed that I wanted to get remarried within the near future after a recent divorce. At this point in time, it is clear that she still likes to party, and make friends, and I feel as though there is no way that I am ready to get remarried.

 

I totally support her financially, although she has promised to get work. She still makes friends via the internet, and goes to bars and clubs with her girlfriends. I work alot out of town, and she does her partying when I am travelling. Up to this point in time, this has not bothered me because the only friends she acutually parties with are girlfriends. She recently told me about something that made me reconsider things. Basically she said she went out with her girlfriend and her girlfriends boyfriend. They had invited along the boyfriends roommate who spent the night trying to hit on my girlfriend. This upeset me for the following reasons. Firstly, if her girlfriend is really her friend, she should respect the fact that she is in a committed relationship and not place my girlfriend in these situations. The situation clearly sounded to me like a double-date type of set up since the other guy was invited and it was not just an accident. If the other guy was invited, he should have been told by my girlfriends friend that my girlfriend was off limits. Lastly the way the story was told, it sounded as though my girlfriend was aware that this roommate was invited, and should have either declined or made it clear that she is not availbable. She did not say that she had done this.

 

Should I be upset? I actually in the not too distant past have had coworkers try to set me up, but I declined saying that I was in a committed relationship. Let me end by saying that I believe that my girlfriend is committed to me, and has not wandered either physically or emotionally, but perhaps this is a way to play the field while have the benefits of a committed relationship.

[Mary3]

Okay lets get this straight :

 

She does not work. You pay the bills.

 

How does she pay for drinks at expensive night clubs ?

 

Why does she need to be out all night drinking with guys and girls if she has YOU at home ? ( No excuses please, even if you are out of town , it does not need to be with guys too does it ? )

 

You don't KNOW for sure that she is just seeing *girls* at nite.

 

You don't KNOW for sure she isn't sleeping with other guys.

 

How long has she been unemployed ?

 

Are you older ? ( not that it matters , only that if you are , and she is lots younger and likes to party..um...)

 

I think I smell a rat here....

 

Have you entertained the possibility that this internet roomate/gf is USING you ?

 

I should add that I realize you both are different ....You more introverted. Her more extroverted.....sometimes it works ...sometimes not...