crazyinlove27 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I'm not going to tell my story again as some of it is on here. Even though MUCH more has happened since. So much actually. I just feel so bad over it all I've actually thought about killing myself ?. I can't walk away from him. I love him too much. Sorry for the random post but need to vent somewhere I think ?. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 OP, please get help. No person is worth the pain and torment you are feeling. Reach out to family, friends and get professional intervention ASAP. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 call the suicide hotline ASAP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 You need to find someone to help you. You can no longer do this alone. I have been in your shoes. Turn to a professional or someone who you can trust will be there for you. Is there a church you belong to or a good friend who truly can understand? Hugs! You are loved and lovable! We all make mistakes and you are not alone in how you are feeling. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I'm not going to tell my story again as some of it is on here. Even though MUCH more has happened since. So much actually. I just feel so bad over it all I've actually thought about killing myself ?. I can't walk away from him. I love him too much. Sorry for the random post but need to vent somewhere I think ?. As others have said, please seek out professional help. I'm in the mental health field, and there are some amazing and compassionate people out there that want to help. I also say this as a former OW who had suicidal thoughts in the aftermath, and found therapy to be invaluable in recovering. Please, please call someone if you're feeling suicidal -- a friend, a family member, an acquaintance, a hotline. Tell someone so that they can stay with you until the feelings pass, or help you to find professional help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Origin Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Hi, I had the same thoughts, recently actually, but at the end of a day it won't change a thing except you'll be gone and the people who actually DO CARE about you will be hurt the most. Seek help from somebody. Many hugs. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
somuchfortheone Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I'm not going to tell my story again as some of it is on here. Even though MUCH more has happened since. So much actually. I just feel so bad over it all I've actually thought about killing myself ?. I can't walk away from him. I love him too much. Sorry for the random post but need to vent somewhere I think ?. I promise you .. this WILL pass. I know it doesn't feel like it right now and you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel...but it's there. Time heals all wounds. No one - NO ONE is worth ending your life over. Please pray - read the bibleS. You have a God who would love to lift you up right now. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Don't love him more than you love yourself. Stay alive. Also try to realize that he doesn't love you as much as he loves his wife. If he did, he'd be divorced by now. He's not. You are in a love with a liar & a user. I say this hoping it gets you angry & motivated to do what is best for you. That should be dump him, get on with your life & find a happy, fulfilling relationship with a man who actually does love you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
shellybing Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Please get help for these thoughts. You can visit this website for speaking with someone on how to get help. Much Love, There is always life after. . .https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Stay strong x 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 He's not worth it. If he loved you, he would never make you feel like this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 dont waste your time letting that cheater get you down, girl there lots fish in the sea. you will get pass this will take time. i have been there, just found out ex mm wife now pregnant at 48 but i need to live my own life now block them off facebook now. i have a son to him too makes it worse. want him and her out my life. please pm me if you need talk all call helpline please. we all care for you hun xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 I sometimes feel like killing myself too. But then I thought about how I have a zillion years to lay in a box starting someday. Why rush it. Might as well stick around and see what happens. Things can always improve. Plus, I like cheeseburgers wayyyy too much to want to die. Now I see hard times as a challenge. I'll make it through. And so can you. Hang in there, please. Do all the things that you do enjoy. Even if it's as simple as ... eating a cheesburger. There will be plenty of time for death later. Can you imagine the big head someone would get over being the one you killed yourself over? Uh uh. No way I'm giving someone that much power over me. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyinlove27 Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 Thank you everyone for your kind messages I really appreciate it. . I found you all really helped me. I started college this week so am hoping that I can focus on getting the career I always wanted to have . As someone said I'm not going to give him any pleasure thinking he's worth ending my life for. I need to have no contact with him. Have anyone got any tips on how to stick to it. We have before and even though he always messages me first I can't ignore him as soon as I see a message/voicemail off him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Thank you everyone for your kind messages I really appreciate it. . I found you all really helped me. I started college this week so am hoping that I can focus on getting the career I always wanted to have . As someone said I'm not going to give him any pleasure thinking he's worth ending my life for. I need to have no contact with him. Have anyone got any tips on how to stick to it. We have before and even though he always messages me first I can't ignore him as soon as I see a message/voicemail off him. Block his number. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyinlove27 Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 Block his number. I have but on my phone if you block a number the messages to through to a spam folder so you can still access them and on your call log it tells you when they have called and been forwarded to voicemail. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 I have but on my phone if you block a number the messages to through to a spam folder so you can still access them and on your call log it tells you when they have called and been forwarded to voicemail. Then get a new phone so you can totally block him or talk to your phone provider to see if it's possible to do a total block. Though I am suggesting you ditch your number and get a new one. That will for sure keep NC in place. It might be a pain in the butt to change and let all your contacts know about your new number but it'll be worth it for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 (edited) This thread is helping me too, thanks so much. Best wishes to OP also! Edited September 15, 2017 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 is there any way that you can have a fiend who you really trust screen any calls form him, at least for the time being. Give her your phone for a couple of days if you have to, Anything important, she can pass it along to you. Calls/texts form him? They get deleted right away. While she's doing this, get yourself a new phone number. Ask her to send out a message to your contacts ( except him, of course) you new phone number. When you do this, you never see the calls so you are not tempted. Also, if you need a friendly shoulder to cry on. she'll be there. Before you do that, send him a strongly worded message that the relationship is over and you do not want any further contact with him. If you have web based email like gmail. set up a filter so that any messages coming from your ex-mm's email so they get sent right to the trash or are deleted right away without you ever seeing them. Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 There are actually very few reasons to sacrifice ones life.... and this is faaaar from being one of them. Girl, pull yourself together and call for help. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 What are you in love with? You are giving everything to a man that only gives you the crumbs off of his table. And now you want to give your life? This man is not worth your everything that you have given him now. And, now you want to add your life to the list? Do you see the folly of your logic? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GirlofSpain Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 I do understand your pain, but your MM had sex with you in his house when his children were upstairs. I read your backstory. I do not know any man who would do that as a single man on a date. I cannot imagine what kind of character would place his children in a situation like that. What do you want from this man? You did not meet in person. You met him on an online affair hook up site. That is who this man is. He does not respect women period, apart from having an affair. I would leave his wife alone. I would be freaked out if a woman my husband met as a stranger on a hook up site was calling me or coming to my house. Link to post Share on other sites
reed1971 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 In my opinion heartache when combined with depression is one of the best salespeople in the world. Together they convince you that:- *This feeling will never pass *That the future holds nothing for you *That you will always be alone *That there must be something wrong with you *That you aren't good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough.... *That life without them is not worth living *That you are worthless *That you will never feel this way about anyone ever again. But the thing to remember is that HEARTACHE AND DEPRESSION LIE!! The story they tell you is not the truth, even though they are so convincing. Try to remember that the way you feel is temporary.... yes it is painful, but it is temporary. When the fog lifts you will realise that it was not the truth, the feelings do pass, and there are many great things to live for. Please do not be fooled by depression and heartache.... they are liars. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 In my opinion heartache when combined with depression is one of the best salespeople in the world. Together they convince you that:- *This feeling will never pass *That the future holds nothing for you *That you will always be alone *That there must be something wrong with you *That you aren't good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough.... *That life without them is not worth living *That you are worthless *That you will never feel this way about anyone ever again. But the thing to remember is that HEARTACHE AND DEPRESSION LIE!! The story they tell you is not the truth, even though they are so convincing. Try to remember that the way you feel is temporary.... yes it is painful, but it is temporary. When the fog lifts you will realise that it was not the truth, the feelings do pass, and there are many great things to live for. Please do not be fooled by depression and heartache.... they are liars. Amen to this!! There have been times where I prayed God to take me in my sleep. Days of darkness where I pretended all was well. Nobody knew. It hurt physically, too. But, one day you "wake up" and the clouds are lifted and you have beat depression and heartache. When it strikes again, you hold on knowing you will come out of it. Nobody is worth this! Wishing you all of the best! You will come through! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
reed1971 Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 How are you doing crazyinlove? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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